


Intertwined Souls

by SeraphStarshine



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Denial of Feelings, Failing relationship, George adores Matty even though he is trying to convince himself it's in a platonic way, George is so confused, George just wants to be loved, M/M, Making Love, Manipulative Relationship, Matty is very lonely but he is pretending he isn't, Starting another fic is a bad idea but I'm doing it anyway, This is gonna get so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:09:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 76,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7234975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/pseuds/SeraphStarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>George knows his relationship is falling apart - he really does, but he's not quite sure what to do about that fact.</p><p>He's tried fixing it, but nothing works, and George is reaching the point where he isn't even sure if he wants to repair the damage if he's the only one putting in any effort.</p><p>But he's not a cheater, and although he finds himself fascinated with a certain stripper at a club he frequents more than he probably should, it's just a passing crush - nothing more.</p><p>And it doesn't matter if he spends most of his time with Matty instead of his boyfriend, because they're just friends, and he's only doing so because Kyle is out practically every night with fuck knows who, so George is entitled to share his evenings with someone else, it's strictly platonic after all...mostly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Having Fun"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [penceyprat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/penceyprat/gifts).



> It is officially my birthday and I thought what better way to celebrate than by bringing more Matty/George gay times to the world so here's a new fic I shouldn't have started but oh well I'm in too deep to stop now.
> 
> This was supposed to be a oneshot based off of Somebody Else but it spiraled out of control very quickly. I wrote almost 10k words for it before realizing that it needed to be its own book because I had too many ideas that I wouldn't have been able to fit into a stand alone story. 
> 
> Dedicated to penceyprat since this wouldn't have happened without their encouragement and yelling while I bounced ideas off of them. Love you buddy xo

On a typical Friday evening, George usually chooses to curl up on the couch with either a good book or a film, maybe even go out with his boyfriend to the cinema if he's feeling up to it, but besides that, George rarely leaves the flat, not really enjoying clubs or bars all that much.

He's reminded of exactly why that is the second he steps into the establishment he's been hovering around for about five minutes, a neon sign spelling out the word _Menswear_ flashing brightly above the small building, which sounds like the name of a clothing store or some shit when in fact it's the exact opposite.

This is George's first time in a strip joint, and he honestly hopes it his last as well. George has to resist the urge to cover his ears as he makes his way to the booth his friends are already ensconced in once he's payed the cover fee, because it's loud in here, not to mention hot, and crowded, and just when George is debating on ducking back outside so he can smoke another cigarette and maybe give himself a chance to acclimate to this new environment change, John's head pops up over the back of his seat, his slender hand waving George over, erasing his chance of a momentary escape entirely.

George doesn't know why he's agreed to show up for this, besides the fact that it's John's bachelor party and his friend all but begged him to go, stating that as a groomsmen he had an obligation to, but _still_ \- this isn't George's scene, _not at all_ , but at the time it had sounded more appealing them moping around his flat which is his usual night time activity as of late.

George refuses to think about that right now though, because he's here to have fun, not worry about why his boyfriend's been uncharacteristically absent the past few months. It's not like he doesn't have his suspicions, and deep down, George knows he's cheating, but he's still trying to convince himself that Kyle's actually at the office and not off with some other man.

Maybe that's why George decided to go out, sort of like an act of defiance that Kyle probably won't even notice since he's rarely at home. It's a step toward admitting his relationship is falling apart - a small one, but George has to start somewhere if he's ever going to break free from the iron grip Kyle somehow still has on him.

George should just leave him - even if he isn't actually cheating, he's not happy, and he hasn't been for quite a while if he's being honest with himself. He's tired of coming home to silence and crappy televisions reruns instead of his boyfriend, and the whispered apologies and promises to be better that fall from Kyle's suspiciously swollen lips when he is around aren't soothing the ache in George's heart as well as they used to.

"Here," John yells loudly to be heard over the pounding bass that's causing George's bone to vibrate under his skin, "you look like you need this." John pushes a drink into his lax palm and George takes it without asking what's in it, hoping that the alcohol will allow him to loosen up and banish all thoughts of Kyle from his mind for a few hours at least.

George sends John a grateful nod as he slips into the open seat next to him, forcing his face into a semblance of a smile that seems to satisfy John for the time being.

His friend isn't clueless about George's situation, but with his pending marriage to Ross drawing steadily nearer, George has refrained from dragging him down with updates on his dismal relationship, vicariously living through John's happiness while secretly praying that one day he'll find someone who loves him as much as Ross so obviously adores John.

The lights in the place begin to flicker then, briefly plunging the colorful room into a state of darkness before the stage is illuminated with a harsh pink glow, drawing everyone's attention to the small platform where George assumes that a performance is about to begin.

His friends lean back in their seats, their eyes trained on the curtain obscuring the dancers - _strippers_ from view. Their shadowy forms are visible as they strike random poses that George thinks look a bit ridiculous, but by the cheers already erupting from the other tables, he's alone in that aspect.

George doesn't really know how he feels about this, because even though he has nothing against eyeballing a pretty boy on the street, this is _different_ , and it makes him feel oddly filthy, but he's going to try and avoid spoiling the evening with his bad attitude, and at least this club doesn't do full nudity, that would be a bit too much for George to handle.

George sips on his drink idly as the first man appears. He's shirtless, but his bare chest is covered by a feathered boa that George doesn't find sexy at all. He quickly grows bored with the parade of boys, about ten in all George thinks, and just when he's tempted to pull out his phone discreetly, the music starts, the upbeat tempo startling him so much he almost knocks over John's cup which is resting close to his elbow.

George sighs loudly as the men begin to twist and writhe, the sound covered up entirely by the song pouring from the speakers. He's regretting this whole ordeal, and even though he knows he would be just as miserable at home, George still wishes he had faked an illness or something similar so he wouldn't have had to suffer through this.

George's eyes wander across the stage briefly, noticing the traditional poles scattered about. Some of the dancers immediately gravitate toward them, contorting their bodies around them in the cliché fashion that George had envisioned when John had said he wanted to go here for their night out.

It's barely two minutes into the set and George's head is already pounding, the flashing lights and overbearing beats not mixing well with very little sleep and the slight buzz he's starting to get. George has to force himself not to bury his face in his hands to block out the overwhelming stimuli, but he can't stop himself from checking his watch every few seconds, hoping that time will magically speed up even though it seems to be dragging out instead.

The men on stage are doing solo dances now, taking off the few articles of clothing they came out in, earning hoots and hollers from their rapt audience. George watches since he has nothing better to do, attempting to ignore the way one dancer's slicked back hair reminds him of Kyle although it's not even the same color.

Then a new performer takes center stage, one that George hadn't noticed before during the initial reveal, and much to his surprise, George's boredom evaporates as soon as he sees the curly haired man, his colorful tattoos and slender build snaring his attention so quickly that George is almost frightened by it.

His name is announced as he begins to sway from side to side, his hips gyrating and his arms skimming his sides, showing off the leather pants that seem to be glued to his body, but George misses it thanks to the rowdy bunch behind him who haven't stopped yelling, although he thinks it something that starts with a _'M'_.

The boy's moves are a bit more awkward than the others, less sexual maybe, and he completely ignores the long pole situated directly behind him for the time being, but George finds it appealing, _endearing_ even. His hair continuously flops over his eyes as he throws himself around the small space, causing him to run his hands through it often, and George finds himself wondering what the wiry texture would feel like against his own skin.

George shakes his head roughly, trying to displace the unwanted images that are suddenly playing across his brain without his consent, because he did not come here to fantasy about another man - he's not a cheater, not like Kyle at all, and even if he doesn't plan to act on his attraction to this stripper, the fact that he's fantasizing about it still leaves George feeling dirty.

It doesn't help when the man begins shimmying out of his trousers, somehow getting the skin tight material off without looking like an idiot, leaving him in nothing but a pair of hot pants that are borderline obscene.

George has to swallow heavily to displace the saliva gathering in his mouth, but it instantly floods back when the boy leans over in a seductive pose, pouting his lips out and fluttering his long eyelashes before turning away to let someone else take center stage.

George's blood continues to thrum through his veins long after the man's short solo, his visceral reaction to a complete stranger throwing his equilibrium out of balance and leaving him feeling unsteady and shaky, because George isn't usually like this, he's only attracted to people he knows decently well - _hell_ , he and Kyle were friends for years before he began to develop romantic feelings for him, but apparently this boy is an exception to George's picky sense of taste.

"So what did you think?" John asks as soon as the show ends without another feature from the curly hair stripper, snapping George out of his head and back into reality so quickly he receives a painful case of mental whiplash.

"Um...it was interesting," George answers slowly, trying to pretend he's not searching for a mop of dark hair out of the corner of his eye. "Don't see how Ross is okay with you going out and ogling nearly naked men before your wedding though," George chuckles weakly, attempting to divert the attention away from himself for a short time.

"He knows I have eyes only for him, this is all in good fun," John proclaims, waving the waiter down once he's finished speaking so they can all order another round.

George is just starting to relax somewhere around his third of fourth drink, he's lost count now, but he knows whatever John keeps giving him is strong since he's well on his way to being drunk. His moment of complacency ends almost as soon as it begins though, because the dancers are beginning to make their way among the crowd, and _of course_ the one headed their way is none other than the dark haired man that had so rapidly captured George's interest.

George stares down at his hands in the hope that his lack of eye contact will cause the stripper to seek out a different table, but John and his friends ruin that plan completely by calling the man over, some of them even pulling out money to entice the stripper in their direction.

George refuses to look up, too frightened that his reaction to another sighting of the dancer will be a clone of his first, but he betrays himself when the man starts to speak, his sultry tone which is obviously overexaggerated for their benefit dragging George's eyes to him against his will.

"Hey there, having fun?" the man asks, and George notices that he's back in the leather pants from earlier, the fabric clinging to his skinny legs in a way that shows off everything while still leaving something to the imagination.

George can't stop staring at the stripper now that he's started, and he's captivated by everything he sees. His gaze travels up his torso, examining the scattered ink gracing his belly, chest, and arms, but even his unmarked skin is fascinating to George. It seems to be shimmering under the flashing lights, and George belatedly realizes that he's got some sort of body glitter on, the soft sheen making him appear ethereal and otherworldly instead of gaudy.

George slowly makes his way to his face, which he can now tell is made up heavily. Red lipstick and blue eyeshadow outline his features which are already pretty enough on their own, and even though George never thought he would be into that sort of thing on men, he can't help but reconsider his stance on it as he continues to observe this boy like he's the eighth wonder of the world.

"Fuck yes," one of John's mates slurs, George thinks his name is Brandon, but he isn't sure. "It's John's bachelor party, he needs a dance." He waves the bills he retrieved in John's direction, trying to get him to take them even when John holds his hands up in what is obviously a physical sign of denial.

"Oh no," John protests, a slight blush tinting his cheeks when the man smiles at him widely, displaying a set of slightly crooked teeth in the process, the simple gesture making George's own lips twitch even though it isn't meant for him. "I'm just here to watch, but thanks for the thought."

"Loyal, I like it," the man winks, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones briefly before he turns his attention to the rest of the booth. "Too bad though, you're very pretty." John's face turns so red that George is tempted to tease him for it, even though he's just affected by the dancer as his friend, if not _more so_ , but he finds that his tongue has dried up in his mouth, and forming a coherent sentence is a task that seems to be impossible for him right now. "Anyone else up for a go...what about you handsome?" the stripper asks, and it isn't until he begins moving in George's direction that he realizes the man is talking to him, the others apparently losing interest quickly when another dancer takes the stage.

"Uh..." George's words continue to fail him, leaving him stammering moronically as the slender boy slinks his way closer toward him, his fingers brushing against George's shoulder which has George flinching away even though a part of him wants to push into the gentle touch. "I'm good - taken too actually, yeah...sorry."

"Well alright then," the man smirks, pausing for a few seconds before backing away slightly. "My name's Matty if any of you change your mind."

 _Matty_ \- the name bounces about in George's head long after the boy leaves them, the good-natured ribbing he receives from John's mates for his embarrassing stuttering fading into white noise under the repeating mantra of the two syllable word.

George can't help but to follow Matty's movements with his eyes as he makes his way to the next table, his muscles locking up as he watches Matty slip into another man's lap when he pats his knee invitingly. Matty smiles up at him before wrapping his arms around his neck, arching his spine in a manner that leaves George feeling like someone's grabbed his cock, knocking all of the air from his lungs so quickly George lets out an audible gasp.

"You alright mate?" John asks, shooting George a concerned look that has George blushing fiercely as he tears his gaze away from the stripper who's now grinding against the other man heavily.

"Yeah - uh, just tired," George shrugs, polishing off his drink quickly before slowly inching toward the edge of the booth. "I think I'm gonna call it a night, got work in the morning after all."

George prays that John won't call him out on his lie, even though he does have an article that's due soon, but luckily Mojo, the magazine he's employed by lets him do most of his writing at home, and it's rare that George has to go into the main office, usually only for interviews or the occasional team meeting, which John knows of course.

"Already?" John pouts, not seeming to remember that George's version of work is sitting on his couch with his laptop, his lips pulling downward into a frown when George nods. "Alright then, text me when you get home yeah?"

"Course," George agrees, "don't have too much fun tonight."

"I'll be good," John grins, patting George fondly on the shoulder while he checks his pockets to make sure he's got everything. "Thanks for coming out."

"Couldn't miss you bachelor party now could I?" George chuckles, to which John tighten his grip for a moment in agreement before he releases George entirely. "I'll see you at the recital dinner then." George waves goodbye to John's friends before taking his leave, exiting the loud club and heading toward his flat which thankfully is only about a five minute walk away.

George can't get Matty out of his head the entire time, snippets of his dancing flashing across his vision instead of the dark alleys and trash littered sidewalk, but George doesn't try to dispel them this time, because it's better than thinking of Kyle at least, and now that he's put some distance between him and the stripper, he feels more comfortable focusing on him when he isn't able to give into the temptation to touch him.

Not that George would actually let it go that far, because as he keeps reminding himself, he's not a cheater, and he refuses to do what he's mostly convinced Kyle is participating in right now, his hypothesis solidifying when he comes home to an empty flat for the umpteenth time.

Kyle did warn George that he was _"working late"_ , but it's just past one in the morning now, and even if lawyers maintain odd hours, George would bet his life on the fact that he's not still at the office. Even if he was, George knows he could bring home whatever paperwork he's got to finish like he used to a few months ago, but Kyle swears that he can't anymore, going on about how his clientele has been increasing since he won his past few cases and a load of other shit that George ends up tuning out five minutes into the debatably practiced spiel.

A part of George wants to confront Kyle, to just get it all out in the open so they can deal with it, or split up, or _whatever_ , but his distaste of arguments and the fact that he hasn't yet found any physical proof of Kyle's indiscretions keeps his lips firmly glued together and his misgivings trapped inside, at least for now.

And although George's stomach churns uncomfortably when he strips down and crawls under the cold sheets, stretching out in the bed that's much too big for one person, George knows things could be worse. Maybe they will even right themselves again soon, and Kyle will transform back into the loving man that George initially fell for all those years ago.


	2. "Worry"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello there I love this fic sm so here is the next chapter.
> 
> I've got a bit more pre-written for this but I'm slowing down now since my life has gotten busy again. I'm going to try and space out how often I update a bit more so I don't get stuck further down the line. The next chapter should probably be posted on Friday I think - maybe Saturday actually since I'm off then.
> 
> Thank you guys for the positive response on this so far it makes me so happy that you are enjoying this as much as I am.

Matty makes his way around the club instinctually, trying to keep the bored expression off of his face as he shakes his hips and looks for the telltale crook of a finger or flash of bills that means he's wanted somewhere.

The high from his earlier stage performance is already wearing thin, and Matty's waiting for the night to be over so he can get back to his warm bed and out of these high heeled boots which he always regrets wearing about halfway through his shift but he still puts them on every evening without fail.

Matty suppresses a sigh when a particularly greasy looking man waves him over, closing his eyes as he slips in between his splayed thighs with as much enthusiasm as he can muster. Matty's mind wanders as he moves his body sinuously, and he finds himself wishing that he'd taken today off after all.

It's not that Matty doesn't like his job, because he _does_. It's easy money for one, and even though Matty has to grit his teeth when some of the filthier men ask for a dance, he's allowed to turn them down if they make him feel uncomfortable.

His boss Jamie's main concern is his employee's safety and happiness, which Matty is so fucking grateful for after hearing horror stories from some of the others who had worked different clubs before ending up at Menswear.

Matty is lucky in that regard, he's never suffered through the abuse that many of his coworkers had to put up with at similar establishments, not that Matty would let anyone fuck with him anyway. He's got a bit of a temper, and if anyone gets too handsy or rough with him, he's not afraid to tell them off even though he's supposed to wait for security to back him up.

Dealing with the occasional asshole is something Matty's quickly became used to, and even though he sometimes wonders why he puts up with it, he forgets his misgivings the moment he gets up on stage.

That's Matty's favorite part of this job, he thrives off of having the spotlight directed on him as he sways back and forth to the beat of whatever song happens to be playing. He feels alive then, and wanted - _desirable_ even, which isn't a sensation he experiences often in his day to day life.

The rest of it gets a bit tedious, but Matty has to admit that some of the men that come into the club wouldn't have to pay him to get him to sit in their lap, he's even allowed a few of them to take things further if they have the money.

It's an option that's available at the club, and they've got private rooms for just such an occasion, but Matty rarely takes anyone back there, and when he does, it's usually because he's lonely and a bit too drunk and he thinks that a good fuck will eradicate the empty feeling in his chest for a little while.

He specializes in other services too, and most people just want either his hands or his mouth since actual penetration gets very pricey, but he's not in the mood for that tonight, so he turns down the few thinly veiled requests he gets with an apologetic smile before moving on to the next table.

A grin tugs at Matty's lips when he sees Adam heading his way with a hand held up in an attempt to get Matty's attention, so he pauses his forward motion, waiting to see what his friend has to tell him, grateful for the momentary distraction.

Adam's been working at this club for ages, and because of that, he's a favorite with both the manager and the patrons. Matty can see why, he's pretty, nice, and genuinely impossible to dislike. Matty's gotten decently close with him lately, having already created a bond with the older man when he took him under his wing when he first started dancing here which continues to strength with time.

Adam takes on a lot of responsibility when Jamie isn't on the floor, keeping an eye out for trouble and stepping in when he feels like he needs to. Even though Matty hadn't thought it possible, Adam could actually be quite intimidating when he tried. He's gotten Matty out of a few situations that could have easily turned ugly, and Matty considers him family now even though they don't see each other much outside of work.

"Hey mate, everything all right?" Matty asks when Adam reaches his side, his fingers idly twisting around a lock of hair hanging down the left side of his face as he speaks.

"Yeah, Jamie just wanted me to ask if you wanted to take the rest of the night off. Business is a bit slow, so he's sending a few of us home is all."

"I've noticed," Matty nods, because the crowd is pretty dull for a Friday. People are still shelling out for lap dances and the like, but the usually bustling club isn't as full as Matty had expected it to be, which is one of the reasons why he's grown bored faster than he typically does. "I won't say no to taking off, but I don't mind staying to close up either, don't want to leave you in a bad place," Matty shrugs, leaning back against the wall with his ankles crossed over each other, relieving the pressure on his aching feet slightly.

"Don't worry about it, we've got loads of help. Only Harry and Nick agreed to leave, and you look a bit tired, thought you might appreciate a few more hours of shuteye," Adam laughs softly, ruffling Matty's hair in a teasing manner that has Matty pouting since he's sure it's fucked to hell now.

"Is it that obvious?" Matty groans, resisting the urge to rub his eyes which would ruin the makeup he so carefully applied earlier.

"Nah, probably just to me, but you've been working yourself half to death lately. I know you need the money, but you've got to take some time to yourself every now and then, maybe you should even consider a proper vacation." Adam shoots Matty a concerned look that has Matty shifting uncomfortably, mostly because he knows he's right, but he doesn't want to admit it just yet.

Adam's making it seem worse than it is though, because _yes_ , Matty picks up a lot of shifts, but the cash he brings home is worth it. His roommate Gemma fucked off recently when she got a boyfriend, leaving Matty to pay the full rent on his own, which is doable with his income, even if it's a bit elastic, but his funds have been stretched lately due to events that are out of his control.

Matty doesn't blame Gemma though, in fact - he's thrilled that she's finally found someone to settle down with, and they're still as close as ever even though they don't live together anymore.

She had asked Matty numerous times if he was alright with her leaving, saying that she could stay for a bit if he needed her too, even suggesting that they search around for a cheaper flat so he wouldn't struggle with the payments, but Matty had turned her down.

He's gotten attached to his place, he's lived there for almost six years now, and honestly, downgrading would mean dealing with the area on the other side of town which is too far away from his job for Matty to be comfortable with the move, so he had assured her he would be fine, and he _was_ \- for a little while.

His Nan's death which had occurred barely a month ago had drained his meager savings since he helped his mother pay for the funeral, not to mention he sends Louis money as well since he knows his mum can't always afford to give him an allowance anymore.

Things are a bit tight for all of them right now, but Matty doesn't mind pulling long hours to try and alleviate the strain. Like he said, he enjoys his job, and even if he's in a constant state of exhaustion more often than not, it's only for a little while until he catches back up with his bills and such.

"You worry too much," Matty teases, nudging Adam gently before allowing his face to break out into a wide grin, "but I think I'll take you up on that offer tonight. Doubt I'll make much more before last call anyway."

"Good, get some sleep yeah?" Adam recommends, pulling Matty in for a quick one armed hug before releasing him so he can begin making his way back to his dressing room.

"I will," Matty promises, rolling his eyes fondly at his protective friend. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Adam waves at Matty's retreating figure until Matty turns around so he can see where he is going. He reaches the back easily without once being stopped by a customer, which is just fine with Matty, although he wouldn't mind doing another dance before he left, but people seem more interested in watching and drinking at the moment than anything else.

Matty plops down in one of the stiff chairs littering the area reserved just for the dancers, smiling at Olly, the only other person sharing the room with him before pulling a wipe out of a nearby pack and halfheartedly beginning to remove the thick layer of makeup staining his face.

He's going to have to invest in a proper wash to get it all off, especially the body glitter, but that will have to wait until he gets back to his flat. They have showers here, but Matty hates using them unless he has to, so the damp towelette will have to do for now.

Once Matty's skin is mostly clear, he retrieves a shirt from the bag he brought with him, fastening two of the buttons before deciding that's good enough, throwing a coat over the outfit to protect him from the chill he knows is waiting for him outside. Matty doesn't bother switching trousers, they're all coming off when he gets home anyway, but he does change out of his high heeled boots into a pair of sneakers, his feet thanking him for it instantly.

Matty says his goodbyes to Jamie who is at his desk near the back entrance, thanking him for the early release, to which he receives a comment similar to Adam's telling him to rest up and take care. Matty wasn't aware that everyone had caught onto his current fatigue, but he's not really surprised. He was never great at hiding his emotions, even something as simple as being tired.

And really, Matty knows it's more than that, but he doesn't like to dwell on those things. He's happy - _mostly_ , but that doesn't mean everything is perfect.

He's still in mourning over his nan, having not had much time to properly accept the fact that she's gone, and that coupled with his longing for his family which comes and goes in waves ever since his mum and brother moved out to the country do bring Matty down occasionally, but only when he lets it.

Matty's got a good life though, he's blessed with wonderful mates, a flat of his own even if he can barely afford it, a job he does love despite its negative connotations, and he knows things could be so much worse. He's just going through a bit of a rough patch, but he'll bounce back, he always does, and until then, he's got to wait it out and find joy in the little things.

One of those is waiting to greet him the moment he gets home in the form of his dog Allen, his clawed feet ticking across the tile in the kitchen alerting Matty to his presence before the brown animal makes an appearance, his paws pushing at Matty legs when he jumps up and down excitedly, his tail wagging happily now that he's got so company once again.

"Hey boy, how was your night?" Matty coos, placing his keys on the hook by the door before crouching down and scratching behind Allen's ear, finding the spot that always has his foot thumping loudly after a few seconds. "I had a nice time, bit slow there actually, but my performance was decent I think, and I made an good amount, enough to go shopping tomorrow at least."

Matty isn't sure when he picked up this habit of talking to Allen like he's a human being instead of a dog, but as odd as it is, he isn't bothered enough by it to stop. It fills the empty air at least, and Allen is an excellent listener, so it's nice to come home and have a chat with him, even if he can't say anything back.

It's probably because Matty's a bit lonely, which is why he got Allen in the first place. After living with Gem for so long, Matty isn't used to coming home to an empty flat, and although it's not all bad, he does miss the constant company more than he thought he would.

It's alright though, because Matty isn't totally secluded. He's got loads of friends, and his dog of course, which is enough, even though with the way everyone is pairing up lately, Matty finds himself wishing he had someone pretty to snuggle up with late at night, but he hasn't had much luck in that area lately, probably because of his job.

When he tells people he's a stripper, it's like they assume that means he can't do committed relationships, which isn't true - _not at all_. Matty would quite like to have a steady boyfriend, and although he doesn't want to stop working at the club anytime soon, which is what he'll probably have to do to find a bloke that would consider being with him, he also longs for someone to call his as well, and he's willing to make compromises as long as they do the same.

Matty does understand that his occupation is hard for most people to comprehend, and he doesn't blame them for not viewing him in a romantic light, even though he wishes they would. He hates when someone assumes he's a slut just because he takes his clothes off for money, and _yes_ \- he occasionally puts out as well, but Matty isn't a prostitute, not _really_ , and just because he likes dancing and sex doesn't mean he can't stay faithful or that he doesn't desire love.

Those stereotypes are probably why most dancers end up dating each other, because they understand the dynamics of the job and they know how to handle the pressures of being with a stripper since they are one. Nick and Harry have been going strong for years and they're perfectly happy, but no one at the club has really caught Matty's eye, not since he and Olly had shared a bit of a fling which died out almost as soon as it began.

A relationship is more trouble than Matty can handle right now though, and unless Matty stumbles upon someone who's worth the effort, he's not going to bother with looking, even if his heart clenches slightly whenever he sees how happy Gem is with - _fuck_ \- Matty can't remember his name, he thinks it might be David, or when he catches Harry and Nick exchanging quick kisses before a show.

"We've got to get you another bag of food tomorrow, remind me of that," Matty sighs as he begins rummaging through his cupboards, emerging with a box of crisps that he immediately digs into, tossing one down to Allen even though he knows he's got to stop giving him human food as often as he does.

Allen barks happily while chasing the treat which has skittered under the table, his head narrowly missing one of the legs before he emerges with the crisp, immediately dropping down to all fours so he can devour it as quickly as possible.

"I probably should start walking you more too, getting a bit of pudge going there," Matty giggles, poking playfully at Allen's side as he speaks which the dog completely ignores in favor of licking his paws clean to erase any crumbs he might have missed the first time.

Leaving Allen to his task, Matty wanders into the bathroom, starting up the tap before stripping down quickly. He cleans himself up with a practiced ease, removing the sparkles that stubbornly cling to his skin as if they don't want to be doomed to wash down the drain without putting up a fight.

Once he's toweled off enough that he's not dripping all over the place, Matty heads into the bedroom, not bothering with clothes since he's not planning on going back out again. The one perk Matty's found that came with the loss of Gemma is that he can be naked whenever he pleases, which is quite often if Matty's being honest with himself, and that in itself almost makes up for the fact that he has to pay for the whole place on his own.

Matty calls for Allen before slipping under the sheets, making sure to leave space for the dog that's getting bigger by the day. The mattress shakes heavily when Allen jumps up next to Matty, his nose twitching slightly as he sniffs around, finally curling up in a ball after circling in place for a few moments.

Allen makes a huffing noise when Matty begins petting down his side, which Matty takes to mean he wants Matty to keep talking, even though it's probably just a contented animal sound, but Matty does it anyway, regaling Allen with a play by play of his evening as his eyelids get heavier and his tense muscles begin to relax.

"Got sent home early, but you know that of course. Adam and Jamie are always fretting over me, but I'm fine, just a bit knackered I guess."

Matty giggles under his breath when Allen rolls over, shoving Matty further to the side so he's got more room to stretch out, his nails flexing before they're retracted back downward, his head resting on Matty's outstretched arm in a way that Matty knows will have the limb falling asleep within minutes.

"You too huh?" Matty chuckles, stroking over Allen's fur absentmindedly as he tries to think of what else to say. "Nothing big happened tonight, just the usual lap dances, but that's fine. Got turned down by a tall one though that was pretty cute, I couldn't even touch him without him blushing, don't see people like that much in my line of work."

Allen starts snoring softly then, which Matty always thinks is adorable. He hadn't known dogs did that until he got one of his own, and even though it becomes annoying at times, the steady cadence has Matty's own urge to sleep steadily creeping up on him, so he settles himself against the pillows and allows his eyes to slip closed, resting his hand on Allen's side, timing his breaths to the rise and fall of his ribs until his mind goes blank and he finally begins to drift off.


	3. "See You Again"

George drags his feet as he continues to wander among the aisles of Tesco, leaning most of his weight on the trolley that protests against the added load every few seconds with a loud squeak of its wheels. Due to his height, it leaves George hunched over at an awkward angle, his spine already starting to ache slightly, but not enough to inspire him to straighten up and actually walk properly.

George isn't even sure why he's made the decision to go shopping, because he's got food at his flat, but he'd been in one of those moods where he's simultaneously starving but nothing in his cupboards held any appeal for him, so that's how he found himself here. The walk had tempered his appetite a bit though, and the numerous items gracing the wide shelves haven't really managed to catch his interest just yet.

George pauses near the frozen foods, eyeing the colorful packages that are his typical go to since he's generally too lazy to actually make something from scratch these days. He eventually picks a few boxes without really looking at them, not like it matters all that much, they'll end up tasting shitty either way.

George remembers when he did actually put effort into his meals, because contrary to what the contents of his basket would lead people to assume, he's actually quite fond of cooking, but that was back when Kyle was a regular occupant at the table and he had someone to appreciate his efforts, it's just not as rewarding when he's the only one eating half of the time.

George rubs his eyes as he continues to amble about, not quite ready to head back home yet but also wanting to be back on his couch more than anything else, and he can't quite make up his mind if being stationary and comfortable is worth dealing with the loneliness that seems to seep from the walls of his flat whenever Kyle isn't there.

George continues his failure of a shopping trip when he remembers the article he's supposed to be working on that's due next week which he's hit a wall on. That's another reason he's not back at his place, because if he isn't there he doesn't have to think about it, although the main one is the empty feeling that's slowly been devouring him from the inside out.

It started this morning as soon as Kyle had left for work, and it was nearing the point of being unbearable even though George is trying to ignore it like he usually does. It's an affliction he's been struggling with on and off ever since Kyle's grown distance with him, and sometimes George thinks he's going to go mad from it, but he's found that keeping himself occupied helps to dull the effects by a small margin.

Speaking of Kyle, George still has no idea where he was all evening, because it couldn't have been work, not when he still wasn't home after George returned from the strip club last night, and he hasn't had the chance to casually inquire about his whereabouts just yet.

George had tried to wait up for Kyle, but he must have fallen asleep before his boyfriend got home, because he doesn't remember him joining him in bed, but he was there when he awoke, kissing George absentmindedly when he realized his eyes were open.

Kyle had gotten up not long after that even though George had huffed in discontentment, wanting to spend a few more minutes lazing about with Kyle while he was actually there. Kyle had pretended not to hear the sound, which was loud enough that George knows he hadn't missed it, moving to the closet so he could put on one of his numerous smart suits that George had once loved but was now beginning to despise.

Kyle hadn't asked how George's outing with John had gone - _hell_ , he probably didn't even remember that George had planned to hit up a strip club for his friend's bachelor party, and George hadn't brought it up either, not wanting to ruin the peaceful morning with what could easily spiral into an argument if he let it.

They had shared a quick breakfast together before Kyle insisted that he had to be off, leaving George with a promise of being home on time that afternoon which George no longer allowed himself to place any faith in.

George's heart had sunk as soon as the door shut behind his boyfriend, the fake smile that constantly seemed to be plastered on his face sloughing off of him so quickly it was like it was never there in the first place.

George had dozed off again after that, but it had been an uneasy slumber. He'd dreamed that he was back at the club, but this time he'd taken up the curly haired stripper on his offer - _Matty_ , his name was Matty, not that it mattered, but George wanted to remember that the dancer was more than just a nameless face. It was important for some reason, even if George was mostly likely never going to see him again.

And even though it has just been a series of mental pictures, George had felt ashamed and guilt-ridden when he woke up hard and coated in a light sheen of sweat, because _okay_ \- Matty is pretty, and maybe if he was single he would have considered getting a lap dance from him, but he _isn't_.

And honestly, George would rather be with a man who actually desired him and not just the contents of his wallet, not that a dance in a club is synonymous to a relationship, but George also doesn't usually participate in any sort of sexual activities unless he's got feelings for the person in the first place.

He isn't thinking of Matty in that way though, he _can't_ , because no matter how lovely his is, George's fascination with him is just physical. He knows he's overacting a bit, and that some men don't even consider the events that happen in a strip club as cheating, but George has always been a bit more conservative than some of his friends.

His attraction to Matty just feels wrong to him, even if it's a passing thing that he'll forget about in a few weeks time. George isn't used to this, he doesn't fantasize about other people, not even in his sleep, and the fact that his cock is awake and demanding attention because of someone that isn't Kyle has George confused and ashamed although he hasn't done anything to purposely cause this.

George had forced himself into the shower then, refusing to touch himself as punishment for his illicit thoughts, immediately pulling out his laptop once he was clean and doing his best to occupy his mind with the printed words dancing across the screen instead of his stupid dream that meant nothing at all - it was just a product of being a bit sexually frustrated, and those things happened to everyone right?

But George couldn't concentrate on his work, which had led him to the kitchen in search of food, ending with him here at Tesco with a mostly empty trolley since his true purpose in going out had only been another distraction instead of the intention to refill his pantry.

George sighs under his breath, eyeing the packages of meat he has somehow ended up near while he'd been lost in his thoughts. George spies the fancy hamburgers with the little chunks of cheese placed inside, picking up one on the off chance that Kyle actually does come home tonight. It's a possibility after all, and even though George knows he's being foolish, he wants to believe that Kyle was being sincere even if he's let down more often than not.

George circles the store for a bit longer, picking out a few more items that he really doesn't need, wasting as much time as he can with the pointless task of shopping with is much more entertaining than his usual activities. John texts him while he's hovering in the cereal aisle, thanking him again for coming out and reminding him of the date of the recital dinner, saying he can't wait to see him and Kyle again.

George has to resist the urge to groan under his breath, because with the way things are going, he wouldn't put it past Kyle to try and back out of that as well. He'd assured George multiple times that he'd make it, but _still_ \- George is losing faith in everything Kyle says at an alarming rate, so why should he assume that this event will be any different?

George should have just stated that he'd go alone to the wedding, which isn't ideal, but it would be better than staring at the empty seat reserved for Kyle all night. Their relationship hadn't been nearly as bad when George had originally checked the plus one box on his invitation all those months ago though, and he knows it will be much more enjoyable with his boyfriend there, if he makes time in his apparently busy schedule for it that is.

When George looks up from his phone after taking an obscenely long amount of time composing his reply to John, he has to blink numerous times to make sure he isn't hallucinating, because standing at the other end of the aisle is a slim figure with a curly mop of hair that looks eerily familiar.

When the man doesn't disappear, or George doesn't wake up in his own bed to find out this is all another dream, he's forced to accept that the stripper he can't seem to get out of his head is indeed standing in front of him - _Matty_. He's got a name George reminds himself, and he really needs to start referring to him by that instead of his occupation.

A dull rush of panic flares through George's nerve endings as he's forced to accept that one of the things he was so steadfastly trying to avoid is now sharing the same air with him. George never imagined that he would see Matty again, not unless he found himself back at the club for some odd reason, so he doesn't know how to react.

And _really_ \- Matty's presence here isn't all that strange, it makes sense that he would live close by to where he works, and he's obviously got to eat just like everyone else, but George is still unusually startled by his unexpected appearance.

He can feel his cheeks tinting red as his posture straightens up like he's unconsciously trying to impress the man who probably has no idea who George is. God knows he probably deals with hundreds of people every night, and it's not like George is very memorable for anything besides his tall stature.

George has the odd urge to say something to him, or even just to wave, while a smaller part of him wants to run away from Matty like he does with everything else that confuses him. George has no idea if he wants Matty to notice him or if he should disappear before he does something he'll regret, and the conflicting desires leave him stuck in a state of indecision that has his muscles locking down, making him incapable of moving in either direction.

He settles on keeping his arms firmly pressed at his sides as he continues to watch the man slowly make his way nearer to him, probably looking like an absolute twat in the process, but it's like George has frozen in place and he's completely forgotten how to function like a normal human being as soon as he caught a glimpse of Matty.

Matty looks different today though - _of_ _course_ he does. George didn't really think that strippers wore what they did in the club out on the streets, but it's strange seeing Matty in ripped jeans and a slightly too small t-shirt instead of leather pants and bare chested. He appears smaller somehow, maybe because he's got on regular shoes without a thick heel, but George likes the casual outfit on him almost as much, maybe _more_ than what he'd been parading around in last night.

George reminds himself that he shouldn't be forming an opinion at all, and that he really should leave before he does something to embarrass himself, but his feet still seem to be stuck to the floor, and Matty's drawing closer by the second.

This is a change from the other evening though, at least to George, and he doesn't feel nearly as guilty for his innocent looking, because Matty's not here taking his clothes off and shaking his arse, he's just shopping. George has never chastised himself for taking a quick glimpse at a boy before if he caught his eye, and George can't deny that Matty is exceptionally pretty, especially when he tosses his hair back in agitation as he tries to reach a box that's a few inches taller than his splayed out hand can touch.

And even though George isn't a believer in fate, or destiny, it feels like this encounter was supposed to happen, why else would he have run into Matty again in his fucking local Tesco of all things not even twenty-four hours after their first meeting?

As Matty continues to struggle, George moves without thinking about what he's doing, retrieving the box of Special K that he barely has to stretch to grab. Turning around slowly, George passes the package to Matty, keeping his gaze trained on the laces of his sneakers so he won't check to see if Matty wears makeup in his day to day life as well.

"Here," George mumbles lowly, flinching slightly when Matty's slender fingers close around his for a brief moment as he retrieves the cereal, and as fucking ridiculous as it sounds, George swears his skin tingles lightly even after Matty is no longer touching him.

"Thanks mate," Matty beams, which George notices when he allows him to glance upward quickly. "Don't know why the place these so high up, it's like they don't want me to get the one with strawberries for some reason."

"There's more over here," George gestures, pointing to another row of Special K that's actually at Matty's level, still keeping his eyes focused downward even though that's a difficult task when Matty leans into his personal space ever so slightly, presumably so he can look where George is indicating.

"But that's the big box," Matty huffs after straightening up again, allowing George to breathe once more now that the smaller man isn't quite so close to him, "don't like buying that one since I can't eat the whole thing before it starts going stale you know?" Matty explains, and for some reason, the comment has George chuckling lightly, even though it wasn't at all funny, and he can now see that Matty's right and the package is decidedly larger than the one he retrieved for him. "So...do you work here or...?" Matty asks curiously, making no move to return to his abandoned trolley as he toys with the box in his hands idly.

"Uh - no," George admits, his cheeks flaring crimson again when he finally forces himself to maintain eye contact with Matty for more than a second, noticing that his face appears to be clear of all cosmetic products, but it's still just as gorgeous bare as it was painted red and blue. "Saw you were in a bit of trouble and thought you could use some help," George shrugs, his hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck like he always does when he gets nervous.

"Hey...I know you," Matty exclaims, which of course has George blushing even harder than he already was. "You were at the club last night, the shy one," Matty teases, and even though George sort of wishes he could sink through the cracks in the tiles so he could escape the mortification that's currently threatening to choke him, he also can't stop watching Matty who seems delighted by his deduction if the way his irises are practically glittering means anything at all.

"Yeah - um, that was me, didn't think you'd remember," George chuckles awkwardly, unsure if he should make his exit now before his face resembles an active volcano, but still finding himself immobilized in Matty's presence.

"It was only a few hours ago mate," Matty giggles, the sound doing something to George's insides that he doesn't understand but he knows he likes it, "and you're cute, I always remember those."

"I - I'm...cute?" George stammers out, not used to having that particular adjective applied to him. He typically hears handsome, sometimes hot, but he has to admit that his heart rate picks up as soon as the word falls from Matty lips.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I know you've got a boyfriend," Matty winks in an overexaggerated manner, leaving George's lungs seizing in his chest as he tries to remember how to make them function again, "but if you're ever at the club again, ask for me yeah? I owe you for getting me this." Matty shakes the Special K briefly, a grin tugging at his features when George continues to stand there with his mouth half open and what he's sure is an idiotic expression plastered across his face.

"Okay - sure, uh...I've got to be going now, don't want the frozen goods to melt," George mutters, slowly backing away without taking his eyes off of Matty.

"Yeah course," Matty nods, glancing toward his own trolley for a moment before returning his gaze to George. "Can I get your name though?"

"It's George," George manages to answer coherently, something warm and potent curling up his spine at the fact that Matty had asked at all.

"I'm Matty, can't recall if I told you last night, but I do hope I see you again, whether it's just here or at the club," Matty remarks, sending George a quick wave before tossing his cereal into the basket and exiting the aisle, leaving George shaken and confused but also slightly giddy all at once.

It was obvious that Matty had been flirting with him, at least - George _thinks_ he was, but instead of feeling uncomfortable like George usually does when that happens, he had actually liked it. He waits for the familiar tendrils of guilt to leave his stomach in knots, but they don't appear, even after he's checked out and walking home with his bags slung over his arms, the contents bouncing against his side with every step he takes.

George feels odd about liking his encounter with Matty as much as he did, because he shouldn't be so pleased with himself for maintaining his composure around a pretty boy that just so happens to be a stripper as well. George hadn't intended to ever see him again, much less speak with him, but it's not like he searched him out, it was a perfectly innocent encounter on the surface at least.

George refuses to torment himself for this, because nothing happened. Even if Matty is interested in him, George has no idea if it is genuine or not. It might have been a ploy to bring in another paying customer after all, but either way, it was just a quick chat with a man in Tesco - that's it. George didn't do anything wrong, so he isn't going to get hung up over this when Kyle is most likely doing a lot worse behind George's back.

And _yes_ \- George might fancy Matty a little bit more than he should for someone that's taken, but that's not why he continued to talk with him. He seemed nice is all, and he listened to George's mumbling without appearing bored, which is a rarity for George to find in anyone lately, not that George managed to say much without stumbling over every other word.

That doesn't mean he's going back to the club though, because he's _not_ , but he also isn't going to deny himself from approaching Matty if he sees him out in public again. He's allowed to have friends after all, and even if it's a bit too earlier to assume that he and Matty will ever reach that point, George had felt a connection with him, the same one that had been there with Kyle at the beginning of their acquaintanceship before they had gotten together, and he's not going to punish himself for having any enjoyable conversation with someone no matter their occupation.

And _really_ , George needed this good experience right now, even if it was just a chat that barely spanned a few minutes, because having someone like Matty not only remember, but also compliment him was a boost to George's fragile self-confidence which is slowly declining by the day, but in that moment, he had felt like a person again, like he's wanted, or that he could be, and _fuck_ \- George hadn't realized how much he ached for that simple confirmation until he received it.

Matty stays on George's mind for the rest of the afternoon, but this time, he doesn't try to banish all thoughts of him. A secret smile tugs at his lips as he sits down in front of his laptop after he puts away his purchases, the heavy weight in his chest that had been dragging him down earlier finally receding, allowing him to finish up his article with an ease that has been eluding him lately, and even though George doesn't want to admit it, he knows the only reason he is so motivated is because of the pleasant mood that had followed him home after his run in with Matty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be my favorite chapter I've written so far I'm such trash for this fic just imagine Matty getting all frustrated because he can't reach something I'm crying.
> 
> I've got a bit more of this prewritten but it's for parts in the future so I've got to go back and connect it all. Idk when the next update will be but I'll try to have it posted within a week or so once I figure out what's happening next. I've got a new laptop though so that helps speed up the process since I don't have to resort to writing on my phone as much now even though it's not as bad as I used to think.
> 
> Btw I'm exhausted after being at warped tour all day so my editing job on this was probably shit but I'll go back and fix it eventually.


	4. "Help"

George doesn't see Matty again for the next two weeks, mostly because he pushes down the urge to wander by the strip club every time it pops up - which is more often than George would like, and even though George is a bit disappointed that they don't run into each other again at Tesco, or _anywhere_ really, George decides that it's probably for the best.

Kyle had been home more often lately, looking tired and stressed from his most recent case which he apparently lost unexpectedly, but at least he's _here_ , spending time with George like nothing's wrong with their relationship, and George allows himself to believe that maybe there isn't.

He ignores the few times that Kyle takes a phone call outside, which can only mean he doesn't want George to hear, because dealing with that minor annoyance is so much better than falling asleep alone, which he hasn't had to do in a few nights much to his relief. Having Kyle snuggled into his side is almost enough to have George rethinking all of his earlier suspicions, because he's not acting like he's got something to hide, and maybe he really has just been working an obscene amount of hours after all.

But the illusion of perfection that George managed to construct inside his head came shattering down eventually just like he knew it would. He had hoped - god he'd fucking _prayed_ that it wouldn't this time, but when Kyle called saying he wouldn't be able to make it home in time for the dinner date they'd planned, George found himself choking back tears as soon as he hung up the phone, throwing the device somewhere on the couch in a pointless act of aggression that did nothing to make him feel any better.

George is already dressed and ready to go in his best jeans and a nice button down shirt, because it's their fucking three year anniversary and he'd wanted to look nice which always takes extra time. He never imagined that Kyle would miss this, but he is apparently, and even though George tries to tell himself that it doesn't matter, and they can just celebrate it tomorrow - it _does_ matter, at least to him, the ache in his heart and the wetness gathering at the corners of his eyes attest to that.

George is tempted to call up the law firm that Kyle's employed by so he can beg them to give him some time off, and maybe also to check if he's really there, but he can't bring himself to do it. He doubts that Kyle is anywhere else though, because even if he is cheating on him, he wouldn't go off with another man after already making plans with George - _would he?_

And even if he's not at work, a part of George still doesn't want to know. As much as Kyle's numerous absences hurt, confirmation of his suspicions would be agony, because George still doesn't want to believe that Kyle is capable of that kind of deception. George knows Kyle's not perfect, and that's he fucked up in the past, but that's all behind them now, or at least George thought it was.

George ends up flicking on the television instead of inquiring over Kyle's whereabouts, trying to distract himself from the ache in his chest with a random movie that's on, but of course it's a cheesy romance film that he typically hates, but in his current state it doesn't take long before he's crying softly, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs that seem determined to break out of his throat despite his best efforts at holding them back.

George picks up his phone then, needing company more than anything else. He doesn't want to be alone right now, it's too painful and cloying in his apartment all by himself, so he calls John, crossing his fingers that the other man won't be busy and maybe they can go out for a drink or a bite to eat.

John fails to answer though, which leaves George at a loss for what to do next. He's rather lacking in the friend department lately, and no one else immediately comes to mind when he wracks his brain over who he could spend the evening with.

When John doesn't call him back within five minutes, George makes a rash decision that he knows he'll probably regret in the morning, but before he has time to reconsider his actions, he's already grabbed his coat and closed the front door behind him, his feet turning in the direction of Menswear which he hasn't forgotten the location of even though it's been weeks since he's been there.

~~~

George doesn't immediately spot Matty when he gets inside the dimly lit club, so he heads to a small table in the corner, slumping into the comfortable seat even though his brain is screaming at him to leave now while he still has the chance.

George shouldn't be here, he knows that, because the only reason he's come is in the hopes of running into the curly haired stripper who's probably forgotten about him entirely by now.

George isn't planning on doing anything illicit, he just wants to see Matty again, to maybe speak with him a bit more so he can experience that bubbling rush of happiness that had thrummed through his veins during their last conversation.

It's a stupid idea, especially since George has no idea if Matty's working tonight, and even if he is, he's not going to want to waste his time with George when he's got other people willing to pay him for his attention. George doesn't want a lap dance, the most he's comfortable with is watching Matty perform on stage, which he isn't doing at the moment, in fact, George doesn't see Matty anywhere.

Another boy's currently working the pole, a slender, bleach blonde who has some impressive moves in his arsenal, and even though George is still a bit uncomfortable with the act of watching half dressed men writhe around in front of a captive audience, he finds himself observing anyway, because it's better than thinking about what Kyle's doing right now, and George doesn't feel any attraction toward this dancer, which makes the entire process rest much easier on his conscience.

George eventually wanders over to the bar, keeping his eyes peeled for Matty the entire time. George doesn't know what he's going to do if he does spot him, but he can't help his constant searching for the man even if he isn't sure if he's got the courage to approach him.

He wants to though, otherwise this entire outing will be completely pointless. George didn't pay the cover charge for nothing, so he's not leaving until he finds out if Matty's here. Even if all he manages to do is say hello to Matty, or some other sort of similar interaction with him, no matter how brief of meaningless it is, it'll be worth it to George.

George realizes he's being ridiculous, and that Matty shouldn't be the person he turns to when he's down, especially since they've only had one proper chat, but George wants to see if that odd connection he felt with him is still there, or if he imagined the entire thing in a desperate bid for attention which is something he's decidedly lacking in lately.

George wouldn't be surprised if he has fabricated everything he's felt in Matty's presence, he's been labeled overreaching and silly by both friends and family, and even he can see that he's building Matty up on a pedestal in his mind. Matty won't be able to fix the heartache he's suffering through thanks to Kyle's cancellation, but George would like to pretend he can, so he doesn't try to reason with himself for once, because at least he's doing something besides sobbing alone in his flat while watching horrible films.

And Matty did say he wanted to see him again, even though his sincerity was debatable, but _still_ \- it can't hurt to take him up on his offer of stopping by the club, although George has probably been erased from Matty's mind completely after all this time.

George is halfway back to his seat with a cold beer clutched in his fist when he catches sight of a familiar head of curls bouncing off to his left, and when he turns his head, he sees Matty at another table. He's occupied with a patron sporting a receding hairline and an ill fitting suit at the moment, but he's _here_ , and that fact is enough to have a soft smile tugging at George's lips, the grin both unfamiliar and welcomed after the frown he's been stuck with for most of the night. 

George doesn't mean to continue to stare at Matty as he swings one slender leg over the older man's lap, his hips moving in a sensual rhythm while he whispers into the man's ear, but he can't tear his gaze away. Something about the practiced way Matty moves screams elegance, even though George never thought he'd use that term to describe a lap dance - _still_ , he can think of no other word for how Matty flexes his body, his torso and limbs flowing seamlessly as he continues to sway to the beat of the song that's currently playing over the speakers.

Matty pauses for half a second when the man places his large hands on his exposed hipbones, and even from this distance, George can tell he's gripping tightly. George can see Matty's mouth moving as he turns, probably telling the guy to ease up if George has to guess. Whatever he says has the man frowning slightly, his chubby features scrunching up as Matty shakes from left to right slowly.

He lets go at least, but he continues to trail his fingers up Matty's ribcage, and although George is sure Matty deals with much worse on a regular basis, his stomach still churns subtlety when he sees the uncomfortable expression on Matty's face.

George means to walk away, to go back to his table and wait until Matty's free before he tries to approach him, if he even does that is, but his feet seem to be frozen in place, and now he's not watching Matty out of appreciation, but also to make sure that he stays safe.

The man continues to touch Matty as he bends over, his spine arching so their hips are still connected in an impressive show of flexibility, but just when Matty seems to be falling back into his routine, the man grabs Matty's hair roughly, his fingers tangling in the messy curls so tightly that George finds himself wincing sympathetically.

Something flickers in George when they man tugs back harshly, straining Matty's neck and causing him to lurch forward in the process. It's like an unknowing barrier in his mind crumbles away, unleashing a plethora of emotions mainly composed of anger and an odd protective surge that has George moving before he can think, his strides spurred on by the panicked look in Matty's eyes as he tries to catch his balance without losing any strands at the same time, his body teetering dangerously as his high heeled boots attempt to find some purchase on the smooth floor.

"Hey," George raises his voice to be heard over the pounding base when he comes to a halt in front of the table Matty and the customer are situated at, "let him go, he obviously doesn't like that," George snaps, his mouth moving before he's aware of what he's done, but honestly, he wouldn't take his words back even if he could, although he never imagined that he'd have the guts to say them to a complete stranger.

George isn't a confrontational person - _not at all_ , but it's as if he's transformed into a completely different version of himself, or maybe he's finally letting everything he bottles up inside himself break free for the first time in ages. All of his rage and hurt and frustration which should be aimed at Kyle has erupted because of this stranger, not that he doesn't deserve it for the way he's touching Matty, but _still_ \- on any other day, or maybe with any other dancer, George would have looked in the other direction and waited for someone else to step in instead of getting involved.

"Who the hell are you?" the man barks back, but he releases his iron grip on Matty's locks, his thick arms crossing over his chest at peers up at George, confusing and irritation coloring his countenance. "You his boyfriend or something, because I hate to break it to you, but I paid for this dance, so you can fuck off until I'm done."

"George?" Matty sputters in confusion when he regains his footing, pushing his way in between the two of them smoothly, but George ignores the smaller man, not wanting to be deterred even though the logical portion of his mind is pleading for him to leave now before this squabble escalates any further.

"No, I'm not his boyfriend, but anyone with eyes can see that you're being too pushy," George presses his point, his voice wavering slightly as his rush of courage begins to diminish with every passing second, but he isn't ready to back down just yet, not until this man understands that he's in the wrong.

"Says who? We're allowed to touch at this club," the man argues stubbornly, but he doesn't look George in the eye when he speaks, and even though it's hard to tell with the rose colored lighting that's flooding the establishment, George thinks he sees a blush of embarrassment staining his ruddy cheeks.

"George - leave it," Matty seethes under his breath, pulling George's attention back to him, and what he sees makes him wish he never came here in the first place.

Matty's eyes are dark and slitted, his painted mouth pulled downward into a scowl as he glares as George sourly. George doesn't know what he expected to happen when he came to Matty's rescue, in fact, he hadn't planned any of this out at all, which he really should have done. George had hoped that Matty would be the tiniest bit grateful for the intervention, but instead it appears that George has upset him even more than the handsy customer had.

"I - I was just trying to help," George stammers out, shuffling backward a few paces when Matty continues to glower at him sullenly.

"I've can take care of myself alright, just go," Matty sighs, turning back to the heavy set man who is now staring down at his lap looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here, which is the only thing George has agreed with him about so far.

George doesn't wait to see what happens next, choosing to follow Matty's command and vacate the area as quickly as possible, his chest tightening and his eyes stinging as he attempts to make his way back to his table without breaking down.

George wipes at his cheeks angrily once he's seated, trying to calm his unruly emotions before he ends up crying in the middle of a crowded strip club. That would be the worst way that George can think of to end this awful night, and if George doesn't get ahold of himself soon, it's going to be unavoidable.

George knows he shouldn't be so affected by Matty's anger - _in fact_ , he deserves it for interjecting himself into a situation that he had no place in, but still, he feels debatably worse than he did when Kyle had said he wouldn't be making it home for dinner, and the culmination of his evening of disappointments has George shattering internally while he attempts to maintain a veneer of stability while he's still in public.

George doesn't understand how he got himself into this mess, he just wanted to see Matty again, to maybe spend time with someone who might actually be interested in him, but now he had ruined any chances he had of possibly befriending Matty, or _whatever the fuck_ his intentions had been when he came searching for him.

Matty was George's last chance of salvaging his shitty day, everyone else had let him down, his boyfriend, his best friend, driving him to seek out a relative stranger who just so happened to show George a shred of kindness the other week, which sounds pathetic when George actually puts it into words, but he feels like that definition fits him perfectly right now. 

This is his own fault though, because George should never have placed so much importance in Matty. They mean nothing to each other, and even if they could have one day changed that, George had to go and fuck it up just like he always does.

Realistically, the loss of a potential friendship with Matty isn't something that George should be mourning over - in fact, it's probably better for him if he stays away from Matty entirely given his unexplained attraction to him, but George's fleeting interactions with the dancer had become small pinpricks of light in his typically dismal state of existence, like solitary fireworks which George had been the only one to witness. 

George had needed one of those bright flashes tonight more than ever, but now his hopes have been dashed thanks to his own foolishness, and instead of the warm glow that had followed him for hours after his last conversation with Matty, he finds himself plunged into an all encompassing blackness that he doesn't have the strength to bother clawing his way out of.

Maybe George isn't meant to be around people, that's why Kyle doesn't want to spend time at home, that's why he only has one friend, because he's a wreck of a person, and he brings everyone around him down with him. Not only is his miserable, but he's probably ruined Matty's night as well with his noble intentions, he at least lost him whatever tip he might have gotten from that man, so he swears then and there to leave Matty alone for good, to never come here again no matter what.

He's just going to finish this drink, because it was expensive and he doesn't want to waste it, not to mention he's so shook up he's not entirely sure if he can walk quite yet, then he'll make his way out of this club that he should have avoided entirely in the first place.

 _Sure_ \- he'll probably end up crying again, drowning in the loneliness that's always waiting for him in his flat when Kyle isn't there, but he's resigned to that now, and at least he won't be able to fuck up anyone else's evening that way.


	5. "A Taste Of His Own Medicine"

Matty's gaze lingers on George's retreating figure until he's swallowed up by the crowd, his mind spinning rapidly as he tries to work through what the fuck just happened.

Matty can't believe that George mouthed off to a customer for him - _hell_ , he's shocked to see him here at all. He had thought that George was never going to come back to the club, it's obviously not his usual element, and although Matty had wanted to see him again, he'd given up any hope of that after two weeks had passed with no sign of him.

Matty doesn't know why he's still thinking about George at all actually, because he barely knows him, but he can't deny that he's a bit enamored with him. Maybe it's because George seems so different than most of the people he interacts with on a daily basis, or maybe Matty just thinks he's attractive, but either way, he would be lying if he said he hasn't been keeping an eye out for his tall frame and messy hair among the throng of people that occupy Menswear each night.

Matty wants to follow after George, to ask him what he's doing here, to make sure he doesn't leave before he has a chance to apologize for his harsh words, but first he has to deal with this customer, because no matter how much Matty would love to tell him to fuck off before chasing after George, he can't risk losing clients, especially not right now when he needs them the most.

"Sorry about that." Matty does his best to hide his grimace as he turns back to the man he had been dancing for, his skin crawling slightly as he forces himself to settle down against his wide thighs again.

Matty's no stranger to unpleasant characters in his line of work, but this man has been making him uncomfortable ever since he waved him over. He's new here obviously, and he hasn't learned the proper etiquette of behavior that most of his other clients adhere to, but Matty's not in the right mindset to deal with idiots tonight, and his patience is hanging by a slender thread.

"Is it typical for your boyfriend to pull that sort of shit?" the man grumbles as Matty begins to work up a slow rhythm, his arms thankfully hanging at his sides instead of pawing at Matty like they were earlier.

"He's not my boyfriend," Matty mutters under his breath, just wanting to get this dance over with so he can search out George immediately afterward. He's constantly scanning the crowd as he moves, but he can't spot George just yet. He remembers the direction he headed in though, so hopefully he'll still be in that area once Matty's finished.

"Sure seemed like it," the man huffs in reply, his large fingers beginning to trace over Matty's hipbones again, releasing small shivers of displeasure that continuously shoot up his spine the longer he touches him. "You know, I should report this to the manager, it was very unprofessional, and I'm a bit put off now honestly."

"Good luck with that," Matty snaps, his temper finally getting the best of him as he wrenches himself out of the man's lap, a half smile twisting at his lips when he imagines how Jamie would react to this prat's complaint. "Look - I am sorry he interrupted us, but you shouldn't have grabbed my hair either, in fact, I'm quite fed up with you in general, so you're lucky I'm even still here at all."

"Y-you can't talk to me like that," the man sputters indignantly, his face flushing all the way down to his neck when Matty crosses his arm stubbornly. "Touching's allowed above the waist, I checked," the man continues to protest, and Matty can't help but roll his eyes obnoxiously at this man's attitude.

"It is - _yes_ , but you're treating me like I'm a fucking blow up doll. You can't just yank half of my hair off and expect me to sit there and take it, so if my friend hadn't stepped in when he did, I would have said something."

"But you're a stri-"

"Of course I'm a bloody stripper," Matty cuts the man off midsentence, his bones figuratively vibrating as he loses the last shreds of his tattered composure, "but I'm a person too, and you should remember that if you want to be allowed back in here. One more complaint on you and I'll make sure the bouncers won't let you in again."

Matty storms away from the man without waiting for a reply, leaving him with his mouth half open and a ruddy sheen staining his cheeks a garish red shade. Matty's practically seething, and he's dying for a smoke, but he needs to find out if George is still here before he heads out for his break.

Matty's search is derailed before he makes it more than a few feet by a gentle hand on his shoulder that steers him back into a secluded corner. Matty doesn't even have to look to know that Adam's found him, because if it was Jamie, he would have taken him into the office immediately, and when Matty glances up, he sees that his hypothesis is indeed correct.

Matty hunches his shoulders under Adam's touch, not wanting to talk about what happened just yet, but it's obvious that Adam had seen at least part of the scene and now he's checking up to make sure that Matty's all right.

"I'm fine Adam," Matty sighs when they come to halt, meeting his friend's eyes so he'll know he's being serious.

"You sure?" Adam sounds skeptical, but that's not unusual. He's almost as protective as Jamie when it comes to the other dancers, and he's even gotten into a few fights with patrons when security didn't show up quick enough.

"Yeah, he didn't do much, just a tad too rough you know? I actually might have overreacted a bit honestly," Matty reassures him, peering over his shoulder when he sees a tall bloke standing up, but much to his chagrin, it isn't George that passes by them.

"Do you want to go talk to Jamie, he can give the man a warning for you so he won't pull that shit again."

"No, it wasn't that serious," Matty shakes his head, running his hands through his hair gently since his scalp is still a bit sore from its previous rough treatment, "besides, I already told him off. Watch him though, he's one of those entitled pricks that thinks he can do whatever he want since he's paying us."

"I will," Adam nods in agreement, glancing toward the booth where the older gentleman is still seated. "Do you want to call it a night mate? You seem a bit shook up."

"Not yet," Matty protests, even though he'd love nothing more than to be back in his flat with Allen curled up in his lap, but he had recently gotten a notice stating that his landlord is raising his rent at the end of the month. It's not by a lot, but it's still enough to put Matty in a bit of a bind, so he needs all the tips he can get if he's going to be able to continue making his payments on time. "I could use a smoke though if that's okay?"

"Take as long as you need."

"Thanks mate, I'll be back soon," Matty promises, allowing Adam to pull him in for a brief hug before he darts off in the direction he last saw George heading toward.

After a few minutes of fending off customers and dead ends, Matty finally spies George off by himself seated at a table in the corner. Matty isn't quite sure why, but his chest feels lighter when he realizes that George hasn't left, probably because he won't have to carry around the guilt that manifested itself after he snapped at him for the rest of the evening. He hadn't meant to be rude to George, he'd just startled him is all, and Matty wants to make sure that he didn't take his hasty words personally, in fact, he's glad he stepped in when he did, although he really shouldn't have.

George looks like he's trying his best to hide, his large frame curled around the drink he's currently nursing. Matty's surprised he found him at all given his secluded location, and everyone else isn't paying him any mind, providing Matty with the perfect opportunity to speak with him.

Matty can't help but notice how pretty George is under the multicolored lights, although that's a dangerous train of thought to be wandering down, but it's impossible not to appreciate the way his jawline is accentuated by the pink glow, the shadows draping his face highlighting his best features in a way that Matty greatly appreciates.

Matty shakes his head roughly when he realizes he's been staring, finally traversing the few feet separating him from George before the other man catches on to the fact that he's being watched, not that he's looking around, in fact, George has kept his head down the entire time, not once glancing toward the stage or at any of the dancers who are wandering by, which is odd behavior for a patron at a strip club, but Matty's already beginning to figure out that George isn't like everyone else.

"Hey," Matty greets George as he slips into the small open space to his left, a soft grin tugging at his lips when George lifts his gaze from the tabletop, a look that Matty thinks is bafflement crossing his features before he returns Matty's smile with a weak attempt at mirroring the expression.

"Matty?" George asks warily, his eyes pinching shut before they lock back onto Matty's made up face again. A small spike of concern flares up Matty spine when he catches sight of how watery George's irises are, like he's been crying, or maybe trying not to cry, but Matty decides not to focus on that observation just yet.

"In the flesh," Matty giggles, not quite sure if George's confusion is caused by his sudden arrival, or if he's a bit pissed, but he doesn't seem that inebriated, he remembered his name at least, and Matty has gotten pretty good at picking up the signs of excessive drunkenness after working in the club for so long.

"What are you doing here?" George continues to appear puzzled, and Matty can't quite place why. Maybe he assumed that Matty would be busy for the rest of the night, or maybe he thinks that Matty's still upset with him. Matty doesn't know him well enough to read his body language just yet, but he hopes it isn't the later.

Before Matty has the chance to ask for clarification, the song changes to a new track that is much louder than the previous one, making comfortable conversation an impossible task. "Do you want to come outside with me?" Matty raises his voice to be heard over the pounding speakers, standing up and holding his hand out to George in case he hadn't understood what he had said.

George hesitates for a moment before linking his fingers through Matty's, swinging his long legs out from under the table before gesturing for Matty to lead the way. Matty reluctantly drops George's hand so he can begin heading to the back, his palm tingling slightly like he's been shocked with a small voltage of static electricity, the sensation startling Matty a bit since nothing in here usually carries much of a charge.

Matty shakes it off though, expertly threading his way through the booths until the door labeled _"performers only"_ comes into view, checking over his shoulder to make sure George is still behind him every few seconds as he goes. George pauses when Matty grabs onto the handle, his eyes scanning the small plaque nervously like someone's going to stop him from entering even with Matty by his side.

"Are you sure I'm allowed in?" George asks when Matty quirks one eyebrow at him, his low voice vibrating through Matty's chest alongside the bass that's accompanying the current song.

"Of course, you're with me you twat, and we aren't actually going to the dressing rooms, there's another exit out here, and this way you can get back in without having to pay the cover again."

"Alright then," George mumbles, waiting for Matty to go in first, holding the door open for him as he goes, and as silly a gesture as it is, Matty finds himself smiling up at George briefly before he continues onward, making a quick stop by his bag so he can grab his cigarettes before he leads George outside into the small alley that outlines the club.

Matty takes a deep breath, enjoying the sensation of inhaling air that isn't clogged with the scent of alcohol and body spray before he begins filling it with smoke. The slight nip in the air has him shivering while he cups his hand around his lighter, but that's his own fault for coming out here topless. It's almost an incentive for him to keep his breaks shorter though, because if he allows himself to get comfortable, he knows he would stay out here for much longer than he should.

"Here," George speaks up, reminding Matty of his presence which he had momentarily pushed to the back of his mind in favor of getting his nicotine fix. When Matty looks up, he finds that George has shed his jean jacket and is currently holding it out to him cautiously. Matty can't hide the grin that envelopes his face when he accepts the large coat, slipping his arms into the oversized sleeves gratefully while keeping his cigarette out of the path of the fabric.

"Thanks love," Matty beams, leaning back against the brick wall idly once he's finished putting on the coat. "Want one?" Matty offers, holding his half empty pack in George's direction, a small chuckle breaking out of his throat when George eyes the slim sticks greedily.

"That'd be great actually, left mine at home and I could use a smoke right now."

"I can tell," Matty smirks, placing the entire box in George's hand along with the lighter, "you seemed a bit tense in there, so have as many as you like." Matty keeps his tone purposefully nonchalant, hoping that George will willingly offer up more information relating to what's bothering him without him having to pry. Matty doesn't want to come off like an intrusive little shit during their first proper conversation, even though he's practically thrumming with curiosity at the moment.

"Is it that obvious?" George groans, his large fingers enveloping the lighter entirely as he brings it up to his mouth.

"Well the fact that you were willing to pick a fight with someone for me was a good tip off," Matty shrugs, biting his tongue to prevent himself from adding on that no one that wasn't employed at the club has ever done that before, and the fact that George had was very endearing if a bit problematic.

"I'm so sorry about that by the way," George mumbles around the cigarette he's got in his mouth. "I feel like shit for getting involved, I don't even know why I got in between you two honestly, it wasn't my place."

"It's alright mate, just maybe don't do it again yeah?" Matty chuckles, but he can tell by the dejected expression on George's face that he's still mentally chastising himself for his actions.

"I swear I won't, _god_ \- I probably won't even come back here after tonight, should never have shown up in the first place," George groans, sinking down onto the bottom step leading into the club with a drawn out sigh.

"Don't say that," Matty giggles softly in an attempt to lighten the mood, folding himself up beside George although the concrete is freezing his arse through his leather trousers. "It was a nice thought - _really_ , I just can't have you scaring off all of my clients you know? I quite liked the whole knight in shining armor act though."

"It was a stupid thing to do," George murmurs, his gaze fixated on his lap instead of in Matty's direction. "I know I should have minded my own business, but I couldn't just stand there and watch that. I didn't like seeing you treated that way." George sniffles then, and Matty's so shocked by the fact that George is properly upset by this that he wraps his arm around George's shoulder without truly registering what he's doing, inviting the other man to lean into his side which he does after a moment's pause.

Matty's not usually this affectionate with relative strangers, but for some odd reason, he feels comfortable around George, like he's an old friend that he's getting reacquainted with. It's a strange sensation, but Matty quite likes it - _hell_ , he quite likes George in general, so he's more than willing to comfort him, especially when he's so obviously in desperate need of it.

"It was lovely gesture, and he was overstepping the line, so don't worry about it mate. I told him off after you left as well, he deserved it really."

"You don't have to lie to me to make me feel better," George sighs, taking a long drag on his cigarette before speaking again, "so if you want to yell at me or tell me to fuck off, I understand."

"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have invited you back here if I was going to throw a fit," Matty teases, nudging George lightly until the taller man finally lifts his head up and meets his eyes. "In fact, I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between us. Can't have you ignoring me the next time I'm in a bind at Tesco can I?"

"Maybe you just didn't want to make a scene inside?" George suggests, a soft laugh punctuating the end of his sentence that wavers shakily halfway through. "Either way though, I promise I won't be pulling that shit again."

"That's probably for the best..." Matty trails off when George pulls away from his hold to stub out his cigarette, unsure if he should voice the words on the tip of his tongue, but deciding to take the plunge either way in case he doesn't see George again after tonight, "but you will come back yeah? You don't have to of course, but it's been nice seeing you."

Matty silently curses himself as soon as he asks, not wanting to deal with the emotions he's sure will assault him if George says no. It's not like Matty to get attached so quickly, but there's something about George that draws him in, that keeps him on Matty's mind even weeks after they've last spoken.

Matty knows he's got a bit of a crush, but this feels different than anything he's experienced before. He's utterly _fascinated_ by George, he's even gone back to Tesco five times over the past few weeks in the hopes of running into him again, his stomach sinking into his knees every time he's forced to accept that George isn't there.

Matty's well aware that he needs to calm down before he gets properly caught up on George, because he's taken, so Matty's infatuation will never be returned, but there's something else there besides plain lust. Matty isn't planning on stealing him away from his boyfriend, he just wants to spend some time with the first person who's caught his interest in ages, even if he'll most likely end up regretting it.

"I don't know," George hums, chewing on his bottom lip idly while avoiding eye contact with Matty once more. "I shouldn't even be here right now honestly, god knows what Kyle would say if he found out."

"That's your boyfriend?" Matty asks, trying to pretend that he's not at all bothered by the recent turn in their conversation, although the angry churning in his lower belly proves otherwise.

"Yeah," George groans, scratching at the back of his neck idly before motioning to the pack of cigarettes that he's set down on the ground between them, waiting for Matty's nod of confrontation before he pulls another stick out gratefully.

"Did you two have a row?" Matty asks, not really sure if he's crossing some sort of line, but he hates seeing George so upset, and he's dying to know the cause of his distress.

"Sort of, I mean - not a proper fight," George explains, his words emerging slowly as if he's thinking over what he's about to say before he allows himself to give voice to it. "We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight for our anniversary, but he bloody canceled at the last minute, which is why I'm here instead."

"Well that's pretty shit of him."

"It's not his fault," George protests, his voice hitching slightly in a fashion that has Matty's heart aching for the other man, "he works long hours and all that, so I should be used to it by now, but I'm not." George pauses briefly, tugging his free hand through his hair before suddenly meeting Matty's eyes again. "I didn't come here out of spite by the way, like I wasn't planning on cheating, I just wanted to get out you know, and I was sort of hoping you would be working tonight," George mumbles quickly, his face flaring with a sudden rush of color that Matty barely has a chance to appreciate before he turns his head away rapidly.

"Really?" Matty smirks gleefully, not used to having someone desiring to see him so badly that they would go to the club simply to search for him, but he can't deny that he's loving the attention.

"Well, you did tell me to come back, and I thought - _fuck_ , I don't know honestly, I shouldn't even be telling you all this."

"Don't be embarrassed love, I'm quite flattered, although I'm sorry about your date getting called off," Matty lies through his teeth, gently placing his hand on George's shoulder in a sympathetic gesture.

"Don't apologize," George huffs, his torso suddenly straightening up as he leans back quickly. "I should be the one doing that for bothering you with this. It's silly of me to be this upset you know? It happens all the time, but I just thought tonight might be different."

"You can tell me whatever you like," Matty encourages him, lighting up another cigarette briefly before turning his attention back to George. "I'm a good listener, and maybe getting it off your chest will help some."

"I don't really want to talk about it," George sighs heavily, his voice cracking slightly as he speaks. "If I do I might start crying again." George does look visibly shaken, and Matty doesn't want to press him any further, especially not when the mental picture that flashes across his brain featuring George in tears is making his chest tighten uncomfortably. 

"Well how about this then," Matty interjects, knowing that what he's about to propose is stupid at best, but it might cheer George up, not to mention it involves an opportunity to spend more time with him, "I get off in about an hour, so if you want, we can go out then, grab a bite to eat or whatever. I'm always hungry after my shift ends anyway, we can have our own little dinner so your night won't be completely ruined."

The second the words leave his mouth, Matty belatedly realizes that he might have been a bit too forward, but subtlety has never been his speciality, and it's not like he invited George back to his place for a quick fuck or anything, but he's still afraid that George is going to balk at his casual suggestion.

"I - I don't know..." George hedges, but Matty can tell by the way his eyes light up that he's considering the idea, "Kyle might be home soon, and I should probably get back before he does."

Matty rolls his eyes then, already extremely disliking this Kyle fellow even though he doesn't know him at all, but anyone that upsets George this much can't be a decent person. Matty knows he's being a bit conniving, but he wants to make George smile again, and he's not afraid to fight for that chance.

"Oh come on, he's left you all alone, so you should give him a taste of his own medicine," Matty pleads, batting his eyelashes in a joking fashion when George doesn't immediately respond.

"I-it wouldn't be a date right, just a friendly thing between mates?" George stammers out, his cheeks blushing scarlet as he voices his query.

"Of course, just a friendly thing," Matty agrees, although he'd like nothing more than to go on a proper date with George, but he's got to remember that he's taken, and even if he seems unhappy, Matty doesn't want to a home wrecker, but he isn't going to leave George by himself in this state either. "Consider it me paying you back for your help the other day."

"I just got you a box of cereal, it's not like I saved your life or anything," George chortles, his lips twitching upwards in the beginnings of a grin that has Matty's heart fluttering inside of his chest.

"You don't know that," Matty tries to keep his voice even, swallowing down the giggles that are bubbling up in the back of his throat, "that is my staple breakfast, and without it, I might have starved to death." Matty places his hand over his chest dramatically, pretending to swoon to add to the theatrical effect.

"You're ridiculous, you know that right?" George laughs deeply, the sound doing something to Matty's insides that feels suspiciously like butterflies, but he forces himself to ignore them. He's not allowed to be attracted to George, and he's really got to get a hold of himself if this friendship is going to last, which it won't if Matty ends up scaring George off with his unruly emotions.

"I'm being serious," Matty protests, but he can't keep a straight face any longer. He collapses in a fit of laughter then, almost tumbling off the step he's seated on in the process, but like the gentleman he is, George hooks an arm around his waist before he loses his balance completely. "So is that a yes to having dinner with me?" Matty finally asks after he's composed himself again, trying his hardest not to pout when George removes his hold around Matty's middle after he's righted himself.

"Yeah, I'd love to honestly," George replies, a proper grin stretching across his face when he does so, and Matty can't help but to feel like he's won some sort of prize when George beams down at him, unleashing a warm feeling in the pit of Matty's stomach that quickly spreads throughout the rest of his body.

Matty shouldn't be so giddy over the prospect of grabbing a quick meal with George, but really, it's practically the highlight of his week, if not his entire month. Even after they head back inside once Matty made George promise to wait for him, he can't stop smiling, and the expression stays plastered to his face for the rest of his shift.

Matty knows he should begin bracing himself for disappointment now before his interest in George evolves into full blown adoration, but this is the happiest he's been in ages. He's not worrying himself sick over his money problems or any of the other things that plague his mind on a daily basis, and he doesn't want this unexpected burst of joy to end, so he's going to do everything he can to keep George in his life for as long as possible, even if it's just as a friend.


	6. "A Gentleman"

"Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?" the cashier who is apparently named James if the tag pinned to his shirt is correct asks with a tired sigh.

George doesn't miss the subtle eye roll he receives when he continues to scan the menu furiously without answering the question, trying to decide what he wants to eat which is something he should have done before approaching the counter.

It's not George's fault though, he's been a bit distracted, and he also hadn't quite believed that Matty was serious about taking him out until about fifteen minutes ago, which hadn't left him with very much time to plan what he was going to get beforehand.

It's not that George thought Matty was teasing him, it's just hard to comprehend that someone like Matty had willingly elicited to spend the rest of their evening with George, even after he got into a near confrontation with one of their clients like a bumbling idiot.

George had kept his promise to Matty though, hanging around the bar for another hour, drinking probably a bit more than he should have to hide his nerves. He wasn't quite smashed, but he was at that stage of inebriation where everything seems a bit funnier than it is and his body feels warm and light.

George had managed to convince himself that he'd imagined Matty's offer of dinner barely twenty minutes after he'd been left to his own devices, but he still hadn't left, wanting to continue with this delusion until the club closed and he had no choice left but to go home.

But just when George was beginning to doubt everything from the shared cigarettes to even seeing Matty at all, the other man had shown up just like he said he would, his earlier apparel replaced with a loose leather jacket, black jeans, and a Cannibal Corpse shirt that had George stifling a giggle which he hid behind the coat Matty handed back to him with a flourish.

George can't even remember the walk to the nearby McDonald's which Matty had chosen since it's the only place still open this time of night, he'd been too busy attempting to stare at Matty out of the corner of his eye while the other man nattered on about something that George didn't quite catch, only the tone of his voice registering in his sluggish mind, but the sound of Matty's voice alone was enough to keep George occupied for hours.

George isn't sure if his fuzzy state is caused by the alcohol following through his veins or Matty's intoxicating presence, but it's probably a little bit of both if George had to guess.

George wonders if these feelings will eventually go away if he continues to see the dancer on a regular basis, but then that leads George into thinking about if he actually wants them to, and he doesn't quite have an answer for that.

Matty didn't seem to notice how distracted he is though, and apparently George's random nods and smiles were placed at appropriate intervals, which is good since that was all he seemed to be capable of adding to the rather one sided conversation.

Of course, George had neglected to think on what he wanted to eat while he was so busy marveling at Matty and trying to figure out of he was dreaming or not, leaving him paralyzed with his mouth half open as James begins to drum his fingers against the counter impatiently.

"While he's having a think, I'll take a number one with a coke," Matty cuts in, giving George a few extra seconds to make his decision, now if only he can stop focusing on how close Matty gets to him when he leans against the tabletop for long enough to spit out his order.

"And I'll have...uh - that ice cream thing with the M&M's in it," George stammers out, his cheeks flaring with heat when James sends him a confused stare.

"The McFlurry," Matty clarifies, a smirk tugging at his lips that has George even more flustered than he already is.

"Yeah - that, and some chicken nuggets I guess."

"What size?" James asks, exasperation apparent in his tone, not that George blames him.

"The ten count I guess?" George isn't even sure how they come since he can't find the section of the menu that states it, but James returns to the touchscreen in front of him, so George assumes he's made a valid choice.

"Will that complete your order?"

George nods mutely, not wanting to open his mouth again in fear of upsetting James any further. George has his hand halfway in his back pocket when he sees Matty digging through his jacket, and without thinking about what he's doing, he bumps his hip against the shorter man's, shoving him gently out of the way so he can place his money in front of James before Matty has the chance.

"Hey!" Matty protests hotly, his slender arm trying to slip under George's elbow, but George fends off his persistent attack. "I was going to get that - I'm paying you back for your help in Tesco remember?"

"I do," George shrugs, grinning widely down at Matty when James takes the bills George has given him and places them in the till, "but I was never going to let you do that."

"This was supposed to be my treat," Matty pouts as James walks away toward the ice cream machine, leaving George's change on the counter instead of handing it to him.

"Oh sod off," George chuckles, doing his best to ignore how adorable Matty looks right now with his grumpy countenance and tousled curls. "I at least lost you a tip tonight, so I'm not letting you spend anything on me, you just being here is enough."

George blushes when the words leave his lips, belatedly realizing how sappy he sounds once it's too late to take it back, but Matty seems to preen under the praise, his eyes glittering and his expression smoothing out as George continues to stare at him, his breath hitching slightly when Matty makes no attempt to back out of George's personal space just yet.

" _Fine_ , but I'm still cross with you," Matty huffs with no true venom to his words, retrieving the cup James holds out to him before crossing his arms while George grabs his ice cream, "and next time I'm not helping you order either so good luck with that."

"Hey - I was doing alright," George laughs, quickly pocketing his change before hurrying after Matty who's already heading toward the soda dispensers. "It's not my fault that I got confused after all, the names all sound the same."

"It is a bit redundant," Matty agrees, "but honestly, if that was you doing well, then I can't wait to see you really fuck it up." George pretends to be hurt while Matty fills his cup to the brim before pulling a lid on it, his slender fingers picking through the straws for a few moments until he finally decides on one.

"Wait a second..." George mumbles mostly to himself as Matty leads him to an empty table, folding his long legs into the booth with only a bit of difficulty, dropping the wounded act when it doesn't get a reaction out of Matty, "did you say next time?"

"I did, didn't I?" Matty hums, his lips which are still a bit red even without the lipstick sucking on his straw idly. "I'd like there to be, it's not often that I have company on my late night food runs."

"I - uh..." George stammers dumbly, unsure of what he should say in response to Matty's offer.

A part of George is dying to blurt out that of course he'd love to do this again, but he's not sure if that's a promise he should make. He's already walking a dangerous line here, and he isn't certain where the barrier between a friendly outing ends and a date begins. Even if Matty had sworn this was just a simple dinner between friends, George has never felt this way while grabbing a bite to eat with John.

George is already far too smitten with Matty after only speaking with him twice, and he has a feeling it's going to get worse if he continues to spend time with him, but if he isn't acting on his impulses, is he really doing anything wrong?

George doesn't want to keep thinking of Matty in this way though, because it's not fair to anyone, not to him, not to Matty, and especially not to _Kyle_ , but he also isn't willing to avoid the first person that's made him smile in weeks all because of a silly crush.

On the other hand, his feelings might fade away eventually, and his interest in Matty could all be a phase caused by Kyle's absences and George's loneliness. George isn't usually like this after all, he doesn't fall for people so quickly, especially not random strangers, so maybe by seeing Matty more often, he'll be able to forget his infatuation with the dancer and gain a new friend in the process.

Luckily, George is saved from answering by the arrival of their food which James has apparently decided to bring to their table instead of calling the number on the receipt, or maybe he had been announcing it and George hadn't been paying attention, but either way, Matty seems sufficiently distracted by his burger, so George chooses not to answer, stuffing his mouth instead so the temptation of speaking is removed entirely.

~~~

"So it's my second week working at the club I think," Matty gestures with a spare fry while he speaks, the movements of his hand ensnaring George's attention much more than his food which has most likely gone cold by this point, "and I'd seen these boots in the window of some random shop, you know the ones, I was wearing them tonight?"

George nods slowly, because how could he not remember the footwear Matty's speaking of? He's debating on mentioning that Matty had them on during their first encounter as well, but he decides that might be a bit too creepy, so he digs through his melted ice cream with his spoon instead, trying to unearth the last few M&M's that he hasn't already devoured.

"I don't even know why I bought them, it was like I just had to you know? Once I saw them, I couldn't keep walking, it was fate, I swear," Matty giggles, his eyes crinkling at the edges with the expulsion of mirth. "They cost me an arm and a leg, but I thought I looked pretty in them, so like the genius I am, I put them on for my next shift without seeing if I could dance in them first."

" _Really_ Matty?" George chortles, Matty's laughter rubbing off on him in an infectious manner that quickly has George clutching at his side as he tries to stay quiet, not that he's really disturbing anyone since there is only two other people in the restaurant at the moment.

"Hush - I haven't finished the story," Matty chuckles, flapping his arms in George's direction until he's managed to quiet down a bit. "You can probably guess the rest though."

"I still want to hear it," George pleads when Matty doesn't continue, chewing on his last chicken nugget slowly as he waits for Matty to keep talking.

"Alright fine, it's a bit embarrassing actually, not even sure why I'm telling you this, but I ended up falling flat on my arse during the group dance. I don't think too many people noticed, I recovered pretty well, but it fucking _hurt_. I'm pretty sure I bruised my tailbone and everything, I couldn't sit down comfortably for weeks after."

"And yet you still wear the boots even after all that?" George remarks once he's stopped snickering, mentally pushing away the image that rises to the forefront of his mind involving Matty tripping over himself, but in this instance, George manages to catch him in the nick of time.

"Of course I do," Matty exclaims, "I've obviously gotten better with my balance since then, and they're a favorite with my clients, not to mention I've grown very fond of them."

"They do look lovely on you," George admits, praying that Matty doesn't notice the dusty pink hue his cheeks have taken on within the past five seconds.

"I know," Matty grins smugly, earning himself a playful scoff from George, "but I really am glad you think so."

"You could probably dance in sneakers and I'd say the same thing," George adds on before thinking about what he's saying, his flush dragging down his neck when Matty beams like George has just given him the best compliment in the world.

"I like you," Matty chuckles, stretching back in his seat gracefully as he speaks, "you're good for my ego, not that it needs a boost according to my friends."

"I'm sure you hear it all the time," George mumbles softly, playing with the collar of his jacket in an effort to make him look less interested in the conversation, although it's probably just making him seem nervous instead.

"Not as often as you'd think," Matty answers, his voice lowering in pitch as he leans forward onto his elbows. "Well - I guess I do, but it means loads more when someone says it when I'm dressed like this and I'm not grinding in their lap."

"Well I'm being serious," George allows himself to admit, because friends can tell each other that they're attractive without it meaning anything - _right_? "Hey," George groans, finding a suitable subject change in the fabric of his coat of all things, "you've gotten body glitter all over this." George stretches out the lapel he's holding so Matty can see the gold sparkles clinging to the denim, a smile tugging at his lips the entire time.

"Oh god - I did," Matty erupts into another fit of laughter, knocking his tray halfway off the table in the process. "That's what you get for being such a gentleman."

"I hope Kyle doesn't notice," George mutters under his breath, not that he really thinks his boyfriend will search through their clothes hamper anytime soon, but the shimmer might be a bit hard to explain if he does.

"I can help you dust it off when we go outside," Matty offers, his giggles drying up instantly at the mention of Kyle, leaving George upset with himself for every mentioning him in the first place. "It doesn't stick to fabric too badly, just skin."

"Nah, it'll be fine I'm sure."

And it will be, George isn't going to make this weird, because there's nothing wrong with him sharing a bite to eat with another man. Kyle probably wouldn't care even if he knew where George was, not unless he was aware of George's feelings for Matty that is, but George is pretending those don't exist, so he's definitely not going to voice them aloud any time soon, especially not to his boyfriend.

"Well I don't know about you mate but I'm knackered, you want to call it a night?" Matty suggests, and although the last thing George wants to do is part ways with Matty, it is late, and he probably should get home before Kyle does just to be on the safe side. His buzz from earlier has worn off now that he's put some food in his stomach, and Matty words have made George aware of the fatigue permeating through his limbs and the weights tugging at his eyelids.

"Yeah, I can walk you home...if that's okay?" George asks, not wanting to overstep any boundaries while at the same time attempting to drag out this evening for as long as possible before he's forced to return back to his flat, because exhausted or not, George still wants to be around Matty for just a few minutes more.

"You really are a gentleman," Matty teases, scooping up their trash while he speaks, "and I'd love that, honestly."

 _'Not as much as me,'_ George is tempted to add, but for once in his life, George realizes that it's probably best if he keeps his mouth shut, so he simply trails after Matty as he makes his way to the trash bin, holding the door open for him once he's done scraping their tray which grants him another of Matty's winning smiles that George knows he will never tire of.

~~~

"You've got to be kidding me?" George laughs in disbelief after asking Matty where he lives, because Matty is pointing at the block of flats that George also calls home.

"What?" Matty questions, a look of confusion tugging at his features when George starts to chuckle under his breath. "It's a nice place, plus it's close to work."

"No - it's not that," George tries his best to tamper down his mirth so he can speak without interrupting himself every few seconds with laughter, "it's just that's where I'm headed as well."

"Seriously?" Matty exclaims, and unless George is mistaken, Matty seems quite thrilled by that prospect. "What number?"

"102," George replies, attempting not to grin too widely as he speaks, because living in the same building as Matty isn't something to get excited over, but George's heart is still skipping erratically despite that logic.

"Ah well I'm in 453, probably why I haven't seen you, my place is all the way in the back, but it's got a nice view."

"That makes sense," George nods, following Matty up the rear staircase that he's never had a need to use before now what with his place being on the ground floor. "So do you have a roommate?" George speaks up when the silence around them gains an uncomfortable edge, although Matty doesn't seem at all bothered by the quiet.

"Nah, it's just me at the moment. My friend Gemma moved out recently - _oh -_ I've got a dog though, do you want to meet him?" The volume of Matty's voice pitches up suddenly at his suggestion, his eyes going wide and bright all at once as he waits for George's answer.

"Is that even a question?" George smiles, his teeth showing through his parted lips as he quickens his pace so he can get back to Matty's flat that much quicker.

George adores animals of any kind, he always has, but Kyle isn't found of house pets, so George hasn't been around dogs since he moved out of his family home all those years ago. George hadn't thought that Matty would own a dog, although that's a silly assumption given the fact that he knows next to nothing about him, but this newfound information has George ecstatic and bubbly at just the thought of meeting the animal.

"You're going to love him," Matty promises, his neck constantly craning to the side so he can look at George as they walk. "His name's Allen, he's just a puppy still, but he's getting so big already. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo that says Dad because of him, I really do feel a bit like a parent now."

"You should," George encourages him, shifting back and forth impatiently when Matty pauses in front of one of the many identical doors, his long fingers digging in his pockets for his keys.

Once Matty finally gets the lock open, George has to resist the urge to push past him and seek out the dog for himself, but Matty seems just as eager as he is to see Allen. Matty toes off his shoes before all but sprinting further inside, calling out for his dog as he goes.

George grins so hard it almost hurts when he spies a flash of tan fur hurtling toward Matty, his chest feeling warm and tight when Matty kneels down and engulfed the animal in a loose hug.

"George, meet Allen," Matty beckons for him after pulling his face out of Allen's neck. George can't decide what he wants to focus on more, Matty's expression or Allen's presence, but Allen makes the choice for him by bounding in George's direction, his tail wagging excitedly the entire time.

"Hey boy," George coos, dropping down on his knees so he can run his hands through Allen's fur gently when he stops his forward motion to sniff curiously at George's ankles, "aren't you gorgeous?"

"I think he likes you," Matty beams like the proud parent he claims he is, scooting over until he's so close to George that it's almost uncomfortable, but in the best way possible, "granted, he does seem fond of any form of attention, takes after me I suppose."

"Well I like him too." George can't keep the joyous tint out of his tone, not that he's trying, but _still_ \- he can't remember the last time he's been this happy, and it's not just because of the dog.

"You sufficiently cheered up now?" Matty asks after a few minutes of silence during which George smothers Allen in affection. George suffers a moment of confusion before he remembers the melancholy state that Matty had found him in earlier, in fact, it had almost slipped his mind that Matty had done all of this to make George feel better. He hasn't been thinking of Kyle or his cancellation at all over the past hour minus one or two instances, which means that Matty's plan had worked. "Allen always does that for me, even on my worst days."

"Yeah, honestly this night couldn't get much better," George answers sincerely, hoping that Matty understands how much this evening has meant to him without him having to put it into words, because he knows he'll end up embarrassing himself if he tries to explain it.

George finds himself proven wrong though, because just when George is debating on taking his leave while his happiness is at an all time high, Allen leaps into his lap completely, and when Matty leans over so he can stroke his ears, his shoulder pushes gently against George's side.

The twin points of contact have George grinning uncontrollably as a warmth starts in his chest that quickly spreads to the rest of his body, and George has never felt so content - so _wanted_ than he does in that moment.


	7. "Completely Smitten"

Matty grins at his reflection when he hears his phone vibrating against the counter, waiting until he finishes highlighting his cheekbones with body glitter before allowing himself to look down and check the message that's just come through.

Matty backs away so Olly can step into the space he was previously occupying, a soft chuckle leaving his lips when Olly shoves him slightly when he doesn't move quickly enough.

Jamie's expecting a busy night at the club, so almost everyone is working, which means the dressing room is much more crowded than usual. Olly's sharing Matty's area since Harry and Nick have completely taken over half of the small counter with their things, but Matty doesn't mind, he's so close with everyone here it actually reminds him of the bathroom he and Louis used to fight over when they were younger.

"What's got you so smiley?" Olly asks as Matty checks his texts, finding a new one from George that is responsible for his current expression.

"It's that guy he's been talking to," Adam cuts in, "that George fellow, I bet all the tips I make tonight on it."

"Shut up," Matty whines, although he can't deny Adam's statement. He's tempted to try anyway to see if Adam will believe him, but he knows that Adam will only steal his phone if he does.

"Who's this now?" Olly turns his attention to Matty, neglecting his hair entirely as he places his hand on the back of the chair Matty's seated himself in. "You finally got a boyfriend and you didn't tell me about him?"

"No - just a friend, it's nothing really," Matty waves Olly off, glaring in Adam's direction when he scoffs affectionately and rolls his eyes at Matty's words.

"Come on Matty, don't be like that," Olly pouts, ignoring Matty's sigh of disgruntlement as he settles down by his feet and stares up at Matty with pleading eyes.

It's not that Matty doesn't want to tell Olly about George, because he _does_. He's already gushed to Adam about him practically every night after he caught them having a smoke together one evening, but Olly exaggerates everything, and Matty knows he won't believe that his relationship with George is strictly platonic.

It is though - at least on George's end. It's been a few weeks since their dinner at McDonald's, Matty isn't sure on the exact span of time since days blur together for him with his odd schedule, but what Matty is certain of is the fact that he's even more infatuated with him now than he was initially.

He had convinced George to give him his number after they'd spent a bit longer showering Allen in affectionate once George had walked him home. George had seemed hesitant at first, not that Matty blamed him, but he'd given in before Matty could retract his query, gracing Matty with a way to stay in contact with him without having to wander the aisles of Tesco in the hopes of spotting messy blonde hair and a tall frame.

George had left not long after that, wanting to get home before Kyle did, and Matty hadn't protested even though it pained him not to. He couldn't come between George and his boyfriend though, not if he wanted to be able to continue to see George, so he'd bit his tongue and let George out with a wave, wishing that he was single so he could drag him down for a kiss like he would have done if not for his current relationship status.

Matty actually hasn't seen George much after that, he avoids the club mostly, claiming that it makes him a bit uncomfortable, only occasionally stopping by on his way home from somewhere to share a cigarette and his company with Matty during his break.

They had met up twice more though, once for an actual meal when George had asked Matty out to lunch and the other time at a nearby shop that Matty had begged George to come down to so he could get a second opinion on a top he liked which had turned into an afternoon spent wandering around town together.

They text almost constantly now as well, George said it helped keep him awake when he was supposed to be writing articles, and Matty used that excuse to bother George as often as he could without coming off as too desperate. George always seems happy to hear from him, and even if Matty's pretty sure he's keeping George from his work instead of aiding in his concentration, he doesn't let that bother him.

Matty's learned a lot about George in the past few weeks and vice versa, nothing deep or particularly interesting, mostly things like his favorite color or the music he listens to, but _still_ \- each tidbit of information feels precious to Matty, and he's honored that George is slowly letting him in despite his obvious reluctance and worries involving Kyle and what he would think about their friendship.

Kyle - _god_ , Matty already hates George's boyfriend, although he's never met him, and he hopes he never does honestly. Apparently he's been home more often lately, which Matty has tried to fake happiness about through his messages, but from what George has told him, he's distant and moody, which results in him ignoring George and upsetting him unnecessarily.

George had even called Matty one night on the verge of tears when Kyle snapped at him after he inquired about some wedding they were supposed to attend soon, and even though George pretended he was fine, the choked quality to his tone made it obvious that he was anything but.

George deserves better than that, and although Matty doesn't want to be self-centered and say he'd be a much kinder boyfriend than Kyle, he feels like he would. He's got his own problems of course, but he'd never be cruel to George, and he'd make sure that he didn't feel anywhere near as abandoned and neglected like Kyle seems to do more often than not.

Matty obviously doesn't know everything about their relationship, but from what he's gleaned through the small snippets that George had told him, it seems like George doesn't want to lose him simply because they've been together for so long, and although Matty hasn't mentioned his hypothesis, he's come to the assumption that George isn't all that in love with Kyle, just the idea of him, or maybe the memory of what they used to have.

Matty forces himself to keep his mouth shut though, continuing to maintain his role as the supportive friend George so desperately needs instead of the partner he'd rather be, and when George thanks him profusely for cheering him up or taking his mind off of things, Matty feels so accomplished that he isn't bothered by not having the chance to be with George as long as he gets to see him smile without any lingering sadness tugging at his lips.

Matty had originally thought that George had a bit of a crush on him as well due to all of his stammering and blushing, but now Matty's not so sure. George is a bit awkward around people in general which Matty's learned after seeing him interact with others while they're together, so he can't tell if it's just his nerves that leave him red in the face and fumbling for words during many of their conversations or if that's just how George is with everyone.

It doesn't matter really, because he's taken either way. Matty has to keep reminding himself of that fact, and even if George is a bit smitten with him, he's doesn't seem like the type of person who would date a stripper, so Matty's slowly working on getting over his attraction to George, although he's made very little progress in that area so far.

" _Matty_..." Olly whines, drawing out his name until Matty emerges from his thoughts and checks back into reality. "I'm not moving until you tell me, so you'll have to explain to Jamie why I'm not out there if you don't spill about this George fellow."

"Fine," Matty huffs, crossing his booted feet in a show of fake irritation, trying to hide how eager he is to speak about George behind an uncaring facade. "He's just a bloke I met at the club, I tried to give him a dance and he turned me down, but I ran into him at Tesco the next day, and we've sort of become friends since then."

"What Matty's leaving out is that he's completely smitten with him," Adam practically yells from his position on the other side of the room, causing Harry and Nick to shoot curious looks in their direction before going back to applying each other's makeup.

"Are you?" Olly presses when Matty glances back down at his phone, attempting to read George's message which he still hasn't gotten a good look at just yet. "Oh - _you are_!" Olly explains when Matty flushes heavily, clapping his hands together excitedly when Matty groans aloud at his reaction.

"Maybe a little," Matty admits, sending Adam another look that he hopes translates as _'I regret ever telling you about this_ _,_ _you're a twat'_ , "but he's taken."

"I'm sorry Matty." Olly's face falls so suddenly that Matty is tempted to laugh although he's sure he looks similar when George mentions Kyle. "I'm not trying to get with him - not _really_..." Matty pauses as he tried to straighten out his thoughts, one of his hands twisting through his curls idly as Olly waits patiently. "There's just something about George, it's like...he makes me happy simply by existing, and even if we're only ever friends, that'll be okay, because he's such a lovely person that I'm content being around him either way if that makes sense."

"Oh god, you really _do_ like him," Olly smirks, dodging Matty's hand when he tries to swat at his shoulder gently," but honestly though, he does sound wonderful, and you better give me updates if anything does happen with him eventually."

"I will," Matty agrees reluctantly, glad that it's just the five of them back here right now instead of everyone employed at the club, not that Harry or Nick seem all that interested, which means that he'll only have to answer to Adam and Olly about his nonexistent love life for the time being. "He's going to stop by again later," Matty adds on when he finally gets a moment of peace to read George's text, "not sure when, but I can introduce you to him if you promise not to embarrass me." Matty locks eyes with Olly as he speaks, knowing that he's the one he needs to be worried about.

"I'd never do that to you Matty," Olly protests, "but I would love to meet him."

"I can see your fingers crossed behind your back in the mirror you twat," Matty scoffs, a chuckle breaking out of his throat when Olly blushes scarlet at being caught.

"I'll behave, _really_ Matty."

"We'll see," Matty sighs, getting up before Olly can protest any further, making his way out to the floor after replying to George with maybe a few too many smiley face emoji's, letting him know that he can't wait to see him again.

~~~

Matty can't stop smiling as he works the floor, his legs aching from his recent stage performance as he makes his way over to a young boy with light hair who had waved in his direction while he was passing by.

It's one of those evenings where Matty is reminded of why he loves his job so much, everyone's in good spirits, he hasn't had any problem customers, and he's really enjoying himself. Matty tries to pretend that his buoyant emotions have nothing to do with the promise of George dropping by to see him later, but that would be a complete lie.

"Hey baby," Matty grins down at the boy, swinging onto his lap with practiced ease. "What's your name?"

"It's - uh, Cameron," he stammers out, his eyes going wide when Matty shifts against him subtlety. "I'm new here, but my friends said that you guys do things...like more than just dances?" Cameron blurts out in a mess of syllables, his cheeks darkening heavily as soon as the words leave his mouth.

"We do," Matty replied coyly, making a split second decision that he's in the mood for a private session tonight. He really needs the cash after all, his rent problems haven't gone away, he's just ignored them in favor of focusing on other things lately - mainly George. "What did you have in mind?"

"It's...my...I haven't ever had a blowjob before, is that something I can get here?" Cameron continues to trip over his sentences, his face turning so red that Matty can feel the heat emanating from his cheeks when he leans closer to him seductively.

"If you've got the money, I'd be happy to take care of you," Matty whispers in his ear, biting the lobe briefly before pulling back when Cameron begins scrambling for his wallet.

Matty likes these type of customers although he doesn't see them often, the young, nervous ones with money to blow. They're usually virgins who are tired of their status, and Matty's found that they're typically much gentler than some of the older man, and they often tip better too.

"Yeah - is this enough?" he asks, holding out a handful of bills that Matty counts quickly before he's satisfied, sticking them into the waistband of his tight pants with a slow nod.

"That's perfect," Matty assures him, and it really is, it means he'll be able to get some toiletries and other things he's in desperate need of without dipping into his rapidly depleting saving fund.

Matty probably shouldn't have bought that blouse the other day after all, but once he saw George's face when he had modeled it from him, he just had to have it, although he really should have purchased some toothpaste instead.

"So...uh - are you going to do it here or?" Cameron asks shakily, earning himself a quiet giggle from Matty as he stands up gracefully.

"Of course not love, I'm not really an exhibitionist. We've got rooms in the back though."

"Oh - yeah, that's much better," Cameron sighs, allowing Matty to tug him to his feet easily, their hands linking together as Matty leads them through the crowd swiftly, ducking into a wide hallway after sending a wave to the bouncer before arriving at their destination.

Matty pushes Cameron back onto the low sofa filling the small space once they make it into the secluded room, making sure to close and lock the door behind him before sinking to his knees with an innocent expression on his face that he knows his clients love.

Matty nuzzles against Cameron's clothed crotch wordlessly, drinking in the hitched quality to his breathing and the way his hands clench into fists at his side when Matty lingers there for longer than he usually does.

"Just relax love," Matty murmurs as he begins unfastening Cameron's jeans, "and no pulling on my hair, let me do all the work." Matty grabs one of the foil packets from a basket to his left, tearing it open quickly before returning to his previous position.

"Got it." Cameron jerks his head stiffly, his muscles going tense when Matty rolls the condom over his cock and starts mouthing at it eagerly.

Matty isn't really sure why, but he's much more involved in this than he usually is, and before long, he finds himself really getting into the act, even going so far as to let Cameron slip down the back of his throat as he swallows heavily around him.

It's not until Cameron begins cursing in a low voice that Matty realizes what's come over him - he's imagining _George_ in this boy's position.

Maybe it's because they're both a bit shy and out of place here, or maybe Matty's just so head over heels for George that he's projecting him onto total strangers, but once Matty understands what's going on in his head, it's impossible not to imagine it's George's cock sliding past his lips instead of Cameron's.

Matty loses himself in his fantasy, his eyelashes fanning across his painted cheekbones as he hums happily around Cameron. He doesn't even complain when Cameron's hips start jerking forward erratically, letting the boy use his mouth just like he would if this was George - not that he'd ever ask for a private session.

Cameron comes quickly with a choked off cry, his nails digging into the cushions as Matty strokes him through his orgasm, his own cock pulsing dully thanks to the mental pictures flickering behind his closed eyelids that all involve George falling apart thanks to Matty's hands and mouth.

Cameron composes himself after a few moments, letting Matty throw the condom in the trash bin next to him before tucking himself back into his trousers. He hands Matty a few more bills once he stands up, thanking him profusely the entire time as Matty leads him back into the main area of the club.

Matty doesn't immediately return to the floor though, instead choosing to dart into the bathroom to take care of the steadily growing problem he's given himself which hasn't gone away even though Matty's been trying to ignore it.

Matty can't remember the last time he's gotten so worked up over a simple blowjob, but he can't deny that his cock is starting to ache already, and he knows it's all because of fucking _George_ who won't seem to stay out of Matty's mind no matter what he does.

Matty locks himself in the nearest stall before shoving down his leather trousers, whimpering under his breath once he finally gets a hand around his cock. Matty's almost embarrassed by how hard he is, _fuck_ \- he's leaking already, and it doesn't take long until he's arching into his fist, his eyes squeezing closed as he thumbs at his slit roughly.

Matty cries out softly when he lets himself pretend that its's George's large hand tugging at his cock, that it's his broad chest he's leaning against instead of the cold tile wall, that he's panting along with Matty as the heat in his stomach coils so tightly it's almost painful.

Matty comes across his knuckles with a choked off moan, his body shaking as his orgasm tears through him. Matty doesn't have time to bask in the afterglow, so he cleans himself up quickly, hurrying back out into the main room so he can make some more tips before George arrives and he ends up taking his break so they can spend some time together.

Matty knows he has a problem, and that his crush on George is obviously getting worse by the day instead of dissipating like he had previously hoped, but he's got it under control - _mostly_.

And really - it's not that weird to think of one you mates while having a wank, and as long as George never finds out, Matty can simply erase the incident from his memory and pretend like it never happened.


	8. "Change Isn't Always Bad"

A few months ago, George would have given anything to spend an evening out with his boyfriend, but now that he's faced with that prospect, he can't understand why he isn't giddy with excitement, in fact, he's not really looking forward to this much at all.

And in his defense, it's not a proper date - _not really_. They're going to John and Ross's recital dinner actually, but it's close to one, yet George almost wishes they weren't, he sort of just wants to stay home in all reality, not that he has a choice.

He's John's best man after all, so he has to be there, and he's sure he'll have a nice time, they'll be food and drink, and he does want to see his friend again. George hasn't spoken to John much over the past few weeks in the fear of distracting him from his last minute wedding preparations, not to mention that George has been a bit caught up in other things as well, mostly Matty if he's being honest.

It's not like George has even seen the dancer all that frequently, but compared to his usual hermit tendencies, he's come out of his comfort zone in an effort to visit Matty as much as possible, using the excuse of needing to run an errand or something else equally as silly to give himself a reason to pass by the club every so often, he'd even worked up the courage to ask him to lunch one day when he was too lazy to cook something for himself.

Honestly, George wants to be around Matty every second of every day, and if he'd been single, he most likely would have attempted to make that happen, but he isn't, so he keeps their meetings to a minimum, although it's difficult to go even a few days without seeing the dancer, especially since he's learned that he lives just a few flights of stairs away from him.

George is worried about coming off as clingy though, and he also doesn't want Kyle to notice that he's gone so often, not that he would since George makes sure to schedule his outings with Matty while he's away, but he still resists the urge to spend every possible moment with the dancer while he's not otherwise occupied, hoping to lessen some of the guilt he experiences whenever he makes plans with Matty, no matter how platonic their interactions are.

George has his number now as well, and they do text quite often. The small correspondences brighten George's day so much that he finds himself forgetting that Kyle was supposed to be home hours ago, and although his boyfriend's suspicious schedule still upsets him, he isn't nearly as bothered by it when he has Matty to keep him company, even if it's only over the phone.

Kyle isn't completely absent, mostly just on Wednesday's and Friday's George notices. When he is home, they end up fighting more often than not anyway, and always over small things too. George resents the sudden surge of hostility that now seems to permeate their interactions, but he knows that quite a bit of it is rooted inside of himself.

George is exhausted of this game, of pretending that their relationship is perfect when it's obviously anything but, and although George doesn't want to credit his revelation to Matty, he knows that the other man has opened his eyes to many of the things that he had previously been blind to.

George hasn't been entirely oblivious to the problems he and Kyle have before, it would be hard not to notice his distant nature, but George had always chosen to ignore it in the past, to keep his mouth shut even when the words he longed to speak burned at his tongue painfully, but now his patience is wearing thin, and George finds himself mouthing off to Kyle more than he ever has in the past few years they'd spent together.

And it's not like he's being malicious or purposefully hurtful, mostly just inquisitive really. When Kyle casually mentions he's got to stay late at the office or he needs to take a call outside, George forces himself to ask why.

It's a small defiance, and it usually ends up with Kyle shutting down or getting upset with him, but it's more than George has done so far, and even if he hasn't gotten any real answers, he's proud of himself for standing his ground for once in his life.

George isn't sure if he's doing the right thing though, or if there is any right or wrong left for them. He's not getting anywhere with his inquiries, not unless he counts Kyle being home a bit more often, and with the way he's been acting lately, George doesn't consider that a real success.

And when George truly takes a step back and thinks about it, he doesn't want to be with Kyle anymore, at least not like this. When he looks to the future, he doesn't envision them getting married, or adopting kids like he used to, he just sees himself miserable and alone, pining after someone who's no longer in love with him but for some reason is still going through the motions.

That's not how George wants his life to go, but at the same time, being without Kyle is a terrifying prospect. They've been together for so long that George has a hard time imagining himself without him, and even if he's unhappy now, what if it only gets worse once Kyle is removed from the picture?

Their relationship is broken though, that much George is starting to realize. He's still unsure about if Kyle's truly cheating on him or not, but either way, George's feelings for him are fading away.

Maybe his suspicions have warped the affection he once felt for the other man, or maybe he's simply falling out of love with him, but all George knows is that he doesn't crave his touch anymore, that he doesn't feel anything when they kiss, that lately Kyle's presence in their bed is more of an annoyance than a blessing.

For the first time since they'd gotten together, George is considering leaving Kyle. It's not fair to either of them to suffer through this sham of a relationship when it's obvious that neither of them are enjoying it, but actually executing that plan is easier said than done.

Even the act of considering the semantics of it have George flustered and overwhelmed, because it would be a messy breakup, there's no avoiding that. They live together, they've got a joint account, and dividing all of that up isn't something that George is ready to deal with.

He'd probably lose his home as well as his boyfriend if he did go through with it considering this was Kyle's flat in the first place. George can't afford it on his own anyway, not without Kyle's hefty paycheck, so it would only make sense for him to leave, which would be easier to do if he had some place to go.

And George still isn't sure if this is the route he wants to take, although it seems to be the correct one when he's left by himself with teary eyes after a spat with Kyle, but he's not one hundred percent set in his decision.

This could just be a rough patch after all, everyone has those right? Things could go back to the way they were, Kyle could truly be working loads and not seeing another man behind George's back, and if George overreacted and called things off, he might regret it once everything was said and done.

But the real reason that George is holding back is because most of his desire to leave Kyle stems from Matty, and _yes_ \- he might have eventually come to this conclusion on his own if things with Kyle had continued on this way, but Matty was a figurative slap in the face to George, showing him everything he was missing out on just by existing.

Because Matty makes George _happy_ , he makes him feel wanted, and important. He's never left wondering if he's disposal or unneeded around the other man, which he usually does with Kyle. George keeps telling himself that they're just friends, but _fuck_ \- George would be lying if he said his crush on Matty hasn't been growing at an alarming rate.

But George is afraid that a part of him is hoping to end things with Kyle just so he can get with Matty, and that's not like him at all. Matty might not be willing to pursue a relationship with him anyway, and even if he did, George isn't looking for a rebound.

George just wants to be loved by someone, and ideally that person should be Kyle, but all George is receiving from him lately is the cold shoulder dashed with sprinklings of hostility.

Right now Matty personifies everything Kyle isn't, which is probably why George is so caught up on him. He's engaged in George's life, he seems to genuinely care about him, he's passionate, not to mention _gorgeous_ , but George doesn't want to make a rash decision in the hopes that Matty will pick him up when he needs him most, because if he doesn't, George will be left with nothing.

George isn't sure what Matty feels for him, if anything, and although he wants to believe that some of his affection is returned, George could be fabricating those emotions entirely.

Matty's a bit of flirt in general actually, which George had noticed when he met a few of his friends at the club, but he knows he hasn't imagined Matty's blush when he compliments him, or the way his face seems to literally light up whenever he catches sight of George.

But his attraction toward Matty is irrelevant in making this decision, because he doesn't want his fascination with the other man to sway him into leaving his long term boyfriend, but it's hard to separate the two, so George decides to wait until he either receives confirmation that Kyle is in fact cheating or he breaks under the strain of acting like he's fine, whichever comes first.

George still wants to give Kyle a chance to fix things though, and tonight's a good start, so even though George is feeling particularly lazy and unmotivated, he gets up when he hears the key turn in the lock, signifying that Kyle's actually here on time, plastering on a smile as his boyfriend walks inside with a tired look on his face.

"Hey love," George greets Kyle fondly, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek, the gesture more of a habit than anything else, "how was your day?"

"Exhausting," Kyle mumbles, and George does have to admit that he appears worn out. "I'm gonna shower before we leave, I won't be long."

"Alright then." George sighs when Kyle doesn't return any of his affections, trudging after his boyfriend into their room so he can get changed as well.

George collapses on the bed once Kyle closes the bathroom door behind him, groaning under his breath as he resists the urge to check his phone. In an attempt to make this day about his and Kyle's relationship, George hadn't contacted Matty at all, not wanting thoughts of the other man to seep into his brain while he's with his boyfriend.

George misses Matty already though, and he wants to see if he has any texts filled with an excessive amount of emojis, but he refrains. If he's going to sort through the mess in his head, he's got to find out if his current discontent is caused by Kyle or his desire to have the chance to be with Matty, so no matter how hard it is, George is going to make sure he goes about this the right way.

~~~

The wedding recital is much duller than George thought it would be, although it is nice to see John and Ross even if they're so busy directing things that George hasn't had much of a chance to speak to them yet.

They've finally finished running through the ceremony now, which George is thankful for since some of Kyle's weariness is rubbing off on him. Kyle seems to be in a decent mood though, he even reached for George's hand when John had practiced walking down the aisle, if only George had felt the tingling sensation he used to at the loving gesture.

George wraps his arm around Kyle as they attempt to find their seats for the dinner that's about to be served, guiding him through the mass of people until they locate the correct table.

They're the first to arrive, which has George debating over if he should try and find John and Ross to see if they need help with anything before their meal is ready, but Kyle takes that decision away from him by slumping down in his chair, shaking off George's touch in the process.

"How much longer do we have to stay here?" Kyle asks when George joins him, his smile literally melting off his face now that they're alone, and it's only then that George realizes that his previous happiness had been faked all along. George tries not to let that bother him, focusing on folding his long legs under the table the best he can instead, attempting to avoid jostling the delicate structure unnecessarily.

"Just for dinner, I think there might be dancing after though, but if you aren't feeling up for it, we can leave," George responds, biting back the agitation in his tone using a supreme effort of will. "Just try and enjoy yourself, I'm sure you'll feel better once you've eaten," George adds on, wanting Kyle to lighten up so they can share a nice evening together without his sour mood spoiling it.

"I'm worn out George, I've been working all day, and I don't think some food is going to help with that," Kyle retorts bitterly, his hands running through his blonde hair weakly, knocking loose some strands from the slicked back style he typically sports.

"I'm sorry," George mumbles, not knowing what else to say to mollify his irritated boyfriend, "but you have known about this for ages, you should have tried to get off early so you could have caught a nap or something."

"I wish I hadn't come at all," Kyle sighs heavily, "these aren't even my friends, so I don't see why I need to be here."

"Because you're my _boyfriend_ ," George snaps, his eyes burning as he blinks furiously in an attempt to keep his shattering composure intact, "because couples go to things like this together, because I want you here, because I hardly see you at all anymore, because I want you to be a part of my life - is that enough reasons for you?"

George cringes when Kyle's eyes flash with suppressed anger, and he knows he's only making it worse with his emotional reaction, but he's trying here, he's trying _so fucking hard_ , but it's like the more he struggles to right things between them the further Kyle recedes from him.

Luckily, whatever retort Kyle has on the tip of his tongue is swallowed back when John and Ross arrive, their flushed cheeks and wide smiles causing George's chest to ache even more than it already is, because he _wants that_ , he wants someone to look at him the way John looks at Ross, and it's becoming clearer by the day that Kyle no longer views him in that fashion anymore.

"I'm going to the loo," Kyle whispers sullenly, sending John and Ross a quick wave while vacating his seat quickly as if he can't stand to be next to George for another moment.

George bites his lips roughly to keep himself from calling after him, or maybe crying, he's not sure which he will do if he opens his mouth, and unfortunately, he doesn't have time to compose himself before John reaches his side, and he's aware that his emotions are painted across his strained face.

"Hey...everything alright?" John asks, sending Kyle's retreating figure a confused look before turning his attention back to George.

"I - I don't know," George chokes out, hating himself for ruining this night with his problems but also unable to hold back his sorrow at how dismal this evening has been for him. "Can I talk to you for a second? I'll be quick, I promise."

"Of course." John nods, turning around to confer briefly with Ross which of course ends in a quick kiss that has George tearing up at how passionate it is even though the length is generally short.

George doesn't understand why he and Kyle aren't like that, because John and Ross have been together for approximately the same amount of time that they have, and they are so genuinely in love. Even when John gets frustrated with Ross, he forgives him instantly, and since George is John's best friend, he knows for a fact that they haven't had a spat that lasted longer than a day.

Maybe this is the proof he's been searching for that Kyle truly isn't the one for him, because if he was, they would have mended whatever this fissure is that has sprung up in between them, but they hadn't, they'd simply both ignored its existence as their supposedly strong foundation crumbled underneath them.

But on the other hand, what if George never finds anyone else, or what if whoever he ended up with next is worse than Kyle? George isn't good with being single, he craves a steady relationship, which is why he's so reluctant to leave Kyle even if he's miserable more often than not.

"Come on, let's go somewhere more private," John suggests, dragging George out of his head as well as his seat, pulling him toward a side hallway that is blessed silent and dark, allowing George to let a few tears slip down his cheeks before he chokes them back determinedly. "What did he do?" John demands as soon as the door is closed behind them, his hands fluttering angrily at his sides as he fixes George with a fierce stare laced with compassion.

"Nothing really, he _just_...he doesn't want to be here, and he's making me feel guilty for it, and I'm so sorry for taking you away from Ross, but I need to talk to someone. Everything is falling apart, and I don't even think he loves me anymore John," George sniffles, his shoulder shaking with the weight of his secret fears which he's only just now voiced aloud.

George hasn't even spoken to Matty about this, not _really_. Sometimes he'll mention that they've gotten in a fight, and Matty obviously saw how upset he was after Kyle canceled their date, but he tries to keep his boyfriend out of his and Matty's discussion, not wanting to talk about Kyle with the person that George wishes was in his place.

"Oh George," John groans, pulling him down into a hug that George melts into instantly. "You've got to stop holding this stuff in, it's not good for you, and you know I'm always here if you need me."

"I just don't want to be a bother, you're busy with the wedding, and I'm just being silly I think, but it hurts - _fuck_ ," George curses weakly, his arms latching around John's middle as he continues to hold him tightly. "I hate this, and now there's another bloke, and I don't want to like him, but I do, and I'm so bloody confused."

"What?" John gasps, pulling away briefly so he can send George an inquisitive look. "Let's sit down yeah? The food won't be out for a few more minutes anyway." George allows John to lead him to the nearest wall, letting his knees give out as John settles himself gracefully next to him. "Now let's start with this other fellow yeah? When did he show up?"

"He's - um..." George blushes in embarrassment, not wanting to admit that he's infatuated with the stripper from his friend's bachelor party, but also needing to get all of this off his chest, "he's a dancer at Menswear, you know Matty, the one with the curly hair who came over to our table?" George feels his lips twitch upward unconsciously once he's finished speaking, the expression emerging instinctually whenever he so much as thinks of Matty.

"Really George?" John exclaims, but he doesn't sound shocked or disgusted like George had expected, he actually appears borderline gleeful. "How in the hell did that happen?"

"It's nothing honestly, we're just friends, I haven't slept with him or anything like that," George clarifies, "but I ran into him at Tesco the next day, then I went back to the club not long after we were there, I don't even know why honestly, I guess I needed to get out of the house. We started talking, and just - fuck John, he seems so _perfect_ , and I can't help but want to spend time with him. I've been trying to focus on Kyle instead, but he's still disappearing, and even when he's around he ignores me more often than not. I've even been considering leaving him, but then I hit a wall and I can't do it. I'm just so bloody fed up with him, with _everything_ really," George blurts out all at once, his words emerging slurred and borderline incoherent due to the speed of his confession, but luckily for him, John appears to catch most of his meaning.

"First of all, I'm a bit put out that you didn't tell me any of this sooner, this is the sort of stuff your best friend is supposed to know about," John teases, gracing George with a grin that has George laughing hoarsely in response, "but honestly, you already know my opinion on this. I've seen how Kyle's been treating you lately, and I can't stand it, _hell_ \- I don't know how you do either. Not I'm not telling you what to do, and we obviously need to catch up more later, but I want you to be happy love, and it seems like Kyle is making you the opposite of that."

"But what if I'm just losing interest because of Matty, I mean - I don't think that's why, but still..." George trails off, his phone vibrating in his pocket just then which distracts him from his train of thought, although he doesn't pull it out, it's probably Kyle asking where he went anyway.

"Well since I haven't met the bloke, it's hard to say, but I know you George, and you're not flighty or the kind of person to jump from one fellow to the next, so I doubt that's why. Matty might be giving you a push, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. You shouldn't immediately latch onto him and expect him to be a replacement for Kyle either though, that might not end well."

"I wouldn't do that to him." George shakes his head roughly, trying to dissipate the image of Matty that rises to his mind at the mere mention of his name. "I doubt he'd even want to be with me, he's probably got loads of blokes lining up to date him."

"I doubt that," John cuts in, rolling his eyes when George tilts his head to the left in confusion. "I had a friend who was a stripper at university, and contrary to popular belief, they struggle with relationships. Most people can't get over the whole _'taking your clothes off for money thing',_ not saying that is the case for Matty, but it might be."

"Oh..." George exhales loudly, his teeth snapping closed to stop the extra protests that are clogging up his throat.

George had never really thought about the semantics of actually dating a stripper, mostly because he knows he'll get lost in the fantasy and pine for Matty even more than he already does, but he doesn't think he'd mind the fact that Matty strips for a living, even the lap dances most likely wouldn't bother him, although the extra things that go on in the back rooms have his stomach churning when he imagines Matty with someone that isn't him.

"You shouldn't count yourself out so quickly, you're honestly a catch George." John grimaces as his phone rings, cutting off their hushed conversation. "Fuck - it's Ross," John sighs when he frees the device from his trousers, pushing it up to his ear after pressing the answer button hurriedly. "Already?" John asks after Ross speaks for a bit. "Alright, were coming out, _yes_ \- I love you too."

"They need you back?" George guesses as John ends the call, receiving a short nod of affirmation from his friend.

"Yeah, but George..." John grabs onto George's wrist as he goes to stand up, halting his motion and forcing George to look directly into his eyes, "I want you to call me later tonight, or maybe even come over if you can. I'm really sorry I've been neglecting you, and I'm so glad you finally told me all this. I'll support you in whatever you decide to do, but as someone who knows both you and Kyle, I don't think staying with him is the right choice."

"Thanks John," George sighs, rubbing at the back of his neck roughly as John regains his feet, "I still need to think on it, but we'll talk more soon. I'm just scared of everything that'll change if I leave him, so I don't want to rush into anything."

"I understand, but change isn't always bad you know?" John hums, dusting off his dark trousers quickly before turning back to George. "Not that I'm trying to sway you one way or the other, but I haven't seen you smile like you did when you mentioned Matty to me in ages, and that's got to mean something."

"Yeah..." George mumbles, hanging back a bit when John tugs open the door leading into the main room. "You go on, tell Kyle I'll be right there if he asks," George explains when John looks back over his shoulder to see if he's following him, "and thanks again for listening to me."

"Of course mate, but try not to be too long yeah? Don't want your plate going cold."

George waves in the way of a response before slipping back into the shadowy hallway, slipping his phone out of his pocket and checking through his messages which he'd been neglecting all day.

And although George had sworn not to talk with Matty tonight, he needs a boost if he's going to make it through the rest of this meal, which he gets in the form of three missed texts from the dancer, the latest of which having been sent a few minutes ago.

_"Sorry if I'm bothering you, but I was just wondering if you're going to be stopping by the club later tonight, I'm so bored :/"  
_

George grins at Matty's emojis, still finding amusement in them since no one he knows uses them as frequently as the other man, but honestly, he finds everything Matty does endearing.

_"Not tonight love, at a wedding rehearsal all evening, but I'll do my best to come by tomorrow yeah, maybe we can even get something to eat again once you're off?"_

George presses send before he can read over his message, his hands shaking not only at his proposal, but also at his choice of calling Matty _'love'_. It's a common term of course, Matty's verbalized it with him loads of times, but it's a large step for George, and he's nervous for how Matty will receive it.

 _"Please do_ :) _I miss you xx"_

George stares down at the twin 'x's for far too long, his mouth stretching into a wide grin as the meaning of his message finally begins to sink in.

And although George is dreading going back out there and facing Kyle, it doesn't matter anymore, because Matty misses him, and that overshadows everything.

George knows what he wants now, hell - he's known from the beginning most likely, and that's _Matty_. He still needs to work things through in his head, but he's almost entirely certain that as much as he might regret leaving Kyle, he'll regret never pursuing something with Matty even more.

Matty isn't a replacement, he's not someone new to move onto because George has grown bored of his current lover - _no_ , he's everything George has ever wanted in a partner. Even at the beginning of his relationship with Kyle, George hadn't been nearly as infatuated with him as he is with Matty, and like John had said, that has to mean something.

It's going to take him time to sort everything out, but he's done waiting for Kyle to love him again, it won't be the same as it was before anyway, and even if Matty ends up not wanting him either, at least George will have tried, and that's all he can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forget to post this last night after I had finished it wow I must have been really tired.
> 
> Also on the other site I write on I can actually add emojis but not this one so just pretend that Matty's texts have a lot of them.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it xx


	9. "Is This Ever Going To End"

It takes all of the self-control George possesses not to slam the door to their flat behind him the second he gets inside, only his concern for his neighbors slowing his arm by a small fraction, but even so, the wooden frame still rattles dully despite his best attempts at maintaining a calm aura.

George can't remember the last time he was this furious, it's hard to actually incite true anger from him, but Kyle has managed it. George can feel the negative emotions weighing heavy on his chest, the pressure pushing against his skin and leaving him overwhelmed and ready to burst.

He's a bit dizzy with it all, his limbs are shaking and everything aches in the worst way. George can't bury this inside of him like he usually does, he has to let it out this time even if he's terrified of what the aftermath will be.

Kyle flinches slightly at the sound, but he doesn't immediately face George, instead he takes a few steps toward their bedroom, but George isn't having that, he's not going to let him run away, not tonight - not after the bombshell he dropped on him while they were leaving the rehearsal dinner.

The rest of the night had gone as well as it could be expected; Kyle had perked up a bit once he'd eaten and he'd even gone so far as to converse with John and Ross, which had George's earlier fury with him diminishing slightly, that was until they'd announced their departure.

John had hugged George goodbye before turning to the both of them, saying he couldn't wait to see them next Saturday for the wedding, only for Kyle to casually relay the fact that he wouldn't be able to make it due to a business trip, wishing them both a happy marriage as if his statement wasn't all that big a deal, although it was most certainly news to George.

George had wanted to confront him then and there about it, but he'd made enough of a scene tonight already, so he'd simply stalked off to the cab, clenching his hands into tight fists at his side while he waited for his boyfriend to join him. The ride had been agonizing and fraught with tension, and the atmosphere had followed them home, filling the air with hostility that George can literally feel seeping into his bones, the sensation only increasing with each second that Kyle remains silent.

"So," George snaps tersely, not willing to wait for Kyle to decide that an explanation is in order, "when were you going to tell me that you're backing out of the wedding?"

Kyle's posture freezes, the muscles in his back tensing visibly as he sighs quietly. When he finally meets George's harsh gaze, he sees guilt in his eyes, but he doesn't know the cause of it. Is it because Kyle regrets upsetting George, or is it rooted in George's suspicions involving another man, or is it something else entirely? George will never know if Kyle doesn't tell him, and this time, George isn't going to back down without a coherent answer.

"I was love - I _swear_ , I only found out about the trip this afternoon, and it completely slipped my mind since we were in a hurry to leave when I got home."

George feels his brow creasing as he tries to decipher if Kyle is being honest or not, but after everything, it's just so fucking hard to believe him. George has reached his breaking point, and even if this is truly just a business trip, George doesn't care, because Kyle should have found a way out of it. He knew how important this wedding was to George, how badly he wanted him there, but that obviously doesn't matter to him, and George is so tired of being cast aside in favor or work, or someone else, or for any reason really.

"You could have called me from the office, we could have discussed it before you agreed," George points out, his arms crossing firmly over his chest as Kyle sinks down onto the sofa once he realizes that George isn't going to let this go like he usually does.

"I know, you're right," Kyle nods, putting on that tone he has that somehow always makes George want to forgive him instantly, but he's too upset to bend so easily, especially after having his evening ruined by Kyle's attitude earlier. "It really was a last minute thing, I've landed a huge case in France - if I win, it'll do wonders for me, and I couldn't turn it down." George winces slightly at Kyle's use of me and not _we_ , because it always used to be them against the world, but now it's just Kyle making a name for himself while George clings onto his coattails, forgotten about completely except for when Kyle happens to turn around. "I've got to fly out soon so I can meet the client and all that, they asked me to leave tonight but I told them no so I could go to this with you, I thought you'd be happy about that."

"Well that backfired since you didn't bother with telling me in the first place." George groans in frustration, hating his boyfriend's ability to always make him appear to be the villain in their arguments even when he's so convinced he's in the right. "I was clueless about all of this, and then with you being so fucking stroppy, I really didn't have all that much fun either way. You could have fucking explained it all during the cab drive there, did you think of that?"

"I didn't have the chance, you kept nattering on the whole time," Kyle protests, a hint of anger bleeding through his voice when he doesn't immediately get his way. "I was planning on telling you when we got home, I didn't think when I mentioned it to John, and I really am sorry, but I've got to go. I'd invite you to come with, but I'm sure you'd rather attend the wedding. It would be boring for you anyway since I'll be with the client most of the time."

"I'd still like an invitation," George sniffs, but he can't deny that Kyle's assumption is correct, and his earlier rush of courage has already dried up completely anyway leaving him frustrated and confused about everything. "So when are you leaving then?" George asks, swallowing back the sudden thickness in his throat that emerges when Kyle smirks in a way that says he knows he's won.

"I was planning on asking your opinion on that." Kyle's smug look takes on an innocent cast when he stands up again so he can move nearer to him, but George can't find it within him to be pleased by Kyle's attempt to include him in his life, not when he's practically been a bystander for the past few months.

"I don't really care, if you're going to miss the wedding, it doesn't matter to me either way."

"Don't be like that George," Kyle pouts, pulling George closer with an insistent hand on his shoulder. George hates the way he finds himself wanting to shy away from the touch instead of lean into it like he should, it isn't right, things shouldn't be this way, but George doesn't know how to revert back to the older version of himself who loved any amount of affection Kyle provided him with, maybe that George is long gone now. "I don't want you upset with me."

George mumbles something unintelligible in the way of a response, letting Kyle rest his head on his chest in a strange semblance of an embrace. George digs through his mind furiously, trying to unearth the spark that always used to be present whenever Kyle would do this, but he comes up with nothing just like he has been for far too long.

The harsh ringing of a phone interrupts George's thought process a few seconds later, the sound also resulting in Kyle's withdrawal as his hand scrambles in his back pocket in search of the device. As he's been doing all too often, Kyle mouths an apology before heading off into the other room, closing the door behind him which prevents George from listening in on the apparently private conversation.

George feels the familiar welling of sorrow mixed with jealousy rising in his gut at Kyle's actions, but it's more muted this time than it's been in the past, like he can't muster the energy to care anymore that Kyle may or may not be chatting with his replacement at the moment. That isn't entirely true, because it does hurt, just not as much as it did. That has to be another sign that he should just end this now, but it's not as easy as it sounds.

George tries to think back over what he'd spoken about with John, how he'd talked about how things were falling apart, how he doesn't think Kyle even loves him anymore, how it's been that way for quite some time now, but that intimidating wall is back in place, leaving him stuck and conflicted even though a few hours ago he'd thought he'd had it all figured out. George is just so fucking scared of inciting such a life changing event, and not even the thought of Matty is bolstering his resolve right now.

In fact, Matty's existence is almost harmful in this instance, because as much as he's helped George see his situation in a new light, a part of George is truly hoping to run into Matty's arms when and if he leaves Kyle, and that just makes him feel even more awful than he already does.

George can't count on that happening - _shouldn't_ count on that really. Even if Matty does fancy him, jumping straight into a new relationship usually doesn't end well, but that's not what he's truly worried about - no, it's the fact that Matty will most likely be left wondering if he's a replacement, or he'll see George as the type of bloke who moves on in an instant, even though a part of him has been over Kyle for much longer than he's willing to admit, but Matty won't understand that, he'll just think George wants to fuck him because he's a stripper, George knows he would assume that if he was in Matty's position.

George is so fucking tired of this internal struggle, it's tearing him in two. He just wants to be happy, that's all, and Matty brings that out in him. He's always smiling around the other man, but when he allows himself to imagine more with him, he's wracked with guilt. He doesn't know how to do this, he's never gone through a serious breakup while also being infatuated with someone else. He'd always assumed he'd be with Kyle forever, he was his first proper boyfriend that had lasted more than a few months, they'd made it for three years, but now the thought of suffering through another month in this fashion has George feeling physically ill.

He doesn't want to be alone either though, even though he feels like that's probably for the best, at least for a little while. If he waits to confess his feeling to Matty, that would prove to the both of them that George isn't simply looking for a rebound, but then he runs the risk of Matty finding someone else while George makes a gesture that will inevitably be pointless, and that is by far the worst option.

George is aware that he's getting ahead of himself, because none of this will matter if he doesn't grow a spine and tell Kyle how he feels. He has to air his resentment and assumptions first, and maybe Kyle will have an explanation, maybe he'll prove George wrong and they'll find a way to mend, or maybe he'll break up with George and save him the trouble of doing it himself, which is a terrible way to look at things, but at this point, George thinks it would be more of a blessing than anything else.

George sends John a quick text outlining their short fight as well as asking him if he should confront him about his suspicions. John replies within seconds much to George's relief, providing him with another shot of courage that George is in desperate need of when he tells him to speak up before things get even worse than they already are.

Kyle reappears moments after George puts away his phone with a secret grin tugging at his lips. George remembers when he used to be the cause of that expression, but now he's left wondering who has taken his place, and that is the final push he needs to open his mouth even though it's dry and he feels like he's going to choke on his tongue at any second.

"Is this ever going to end?" George asks after a tense minute of silence following Kyle's return into the living room. George's needs to understand what's gone wrong between them, he has to discover why he's so unhappy before Kyle fucks off again no matter how much easier it would be to let this conversation wait until the morning.

"What do you mean?" Kyle appears to be confused, but George can also sense a hint of nervousness radiating from him when he sits down smoothly as if he hadn't just disappeared without a word to George.

Not wanting to scare Kyle off, George forces himself to relax slightly and take a seat next to his boyfriend, only just now realizing that he's been hovering in the doorway this entire time, his hands tangling together in his lap as he searches for the strength he needs to continue forward before he's trapped in this cycle for eternity.

" _This_ ," George gestures between them vaguely, struggling to find the words he needs now more than ever, "it's like uni all over again." George winces at his mention of the event that they'd both sworn to leave in the past, but he can't keep silent any longer, and this is the only way he can let Kyle understand what's going on in his head without directly accusing him.

"Fuck off," Kyle recoils suddenly, his defensiveness hitting George like a fist in the gut. "You're being ridiculous, it's just work George. I've been getting a lot of attention lately, you know that - _fuck_ , it's so like you to assume that I'm cheating just because I can't do something that you want."

"That's not what this is about and you know it." George has to take a deep breath to physically brace himself, forcing all of his misgivings out of his throat and past his lips even when they cling to his insides stubbornly. "You've been out a lot, later than usual, and you've been really short with me, and now this. I'm trying not to assume anything, but I can't help it anymore."

"So you really think I'm going to France just to shag someone?" Kyle laughs hoarsely, the sound twisting itself into knots inside of George's brain that makes him want to tear at his hair until it stops. "I make one mistake two years ago and you won't let me live it down. I thought you were over that anyway?"

George forces himself not to get emotional as old memories of their time in school together rise up in his brain. The incident he's referring to had been early in their relationship, and he'd almost managed to forget about it until recently, but now that George has said it aloud, he can't deny that Kyle's behavior is almost identical to how he'd been acting when he'd been fucking some bloke named Luke behind George's back. It's not something George likes to think about, in fact, he'd mostly repressed it until just now, but it all adds up, and George is more confident than ever that his suspicions are correct.

"Just look me in the eye and tell me that you aren't seeing someone else," George begs softly, his voice breaking halfway through his plea as he gazes at Kyle steadily, "please?"

"I'm not," Kyle responds far too quickly for George's liking, but he still can't prove that he's lying, leaving him unsure about what to do next.

"Then who were you on the phone with and why did you have to go in the other room?" George spits out, fighting against his instincts which are pleading with him to take the easy way out and just let things fester for another night, but George knows another night will turn into two, and then three, and then the year will be over and George will still be unhappy and answerless at the end of it.

"It was just work love, they were asking me when I could leave, I told them I was still discussing it with you, that's all...I swear."

"I want to believe you...but I don't," George admits quietly, shame flooding his insides even though he has no reason to be feeling it.

George doesn't think he's imagining this, but there is a part of him that's insistently reminding him that he could be wrong, that maybe he's concocted this cheating scandal just so he has a reason to leave Kyle so he can pursue Matty, but _no_ \- George has been feeling this way long before Matty came into his life, so he does his best to stop making himself the enemy, Kyle does that enough for him as it is.

"Well what the fuck do you want me to say George?" Kyle huffs angrily. "You gonna ask to go through my messages next, follow me around and make sure I'm keeping my dick in my pants?"

"No - _god_ , why are you being such a prick about this?" George all but yells, the volume of his voice rising much too high considering the late hour, but he's powerless to stop himself. "Either way, you've changed, and I - I'm not happy anymore Kyle, I'm really not. I hate how little you're home, and how distant you are, and how you act around me. This isn't about uni, this isn't me bringing up old insecurities, this is me letting you know that I'm fucking miserable and I don't know what to do about it."

George audibly sighs in relief when his statement hits the open air, because it's as if a weight has been lifted off his chest and he can finally breathe freely again. There is still a slight pressure there, but it's so much more bearable than it was, and it leaves George cursing himself for not forcing Kyle to have this conversation with him ages ago.

"Georgie..." George flinches at the use of his old nickname, disliking the way Kyle only pulls it out when he knows he's fucked up, "I really am sorry, things have changed yes, but it's work, and as much as I love you, I'm not going to put my career on hold because you're scared I'm off getting laid instead of doing my job."

"That's not what I'm asking," George groans, standing up again so he can pace back and forth, his long strides covering the carpeted floor so quickly it leaves him a bit lightheaded, "but you could try and bring your work home more often like you did before, to not stay out until one in the morning, how about you stop hiding calls from me, maybe then I could trust you, but right now, _honestly_ Kyle - I don't think I can do this."

"Are you leaving me?" Kyle asks softly, and as hard as George strains to catch any hint of hurt, all he finds is a bit of shock. George wants to say that yes he is, but he can't quite make himself go through with actually breaking up with him just yet in case his suspicions are wrong.

"I - I don't know..." George falters weakly. He's so desperate to understand what's going on in Kyle's head, to know if losing George scares him so much he's refusing to show it or if he's secretly praying for George to fuck off so he can be with whoever he's got hidden behind the scenes, but he doesn't know how to get Kyle to let him in anymore.

"I don't know what to do, or how to make you believe me." Kyle's voice sounds small, like he's beaten, but George still can't detect any sadness in him, and that coupled with the fact that Kyle is hardly putting up a fight is agonizing.

"I just need some time to think, if you want, we can try again when you get home. If you're willing to include me in your life again, I am too, but if things keep going on like this, then I just - I _can't_..."

George allows his statement to trail off into nothing, because he still isn't able to say he's done, even now when he's got the perfect opportunity. He hates himself for being so pathetic, but he also doesn't want to rush into this. He needs to spend a few days away from Kyle to see if that changes his mindset, and maybe then he'll finally be confident in whatever decision he reaches.

"Alright then...uh - I guess I'll see if the company can book me a flight then, I should be back Monday or Tuesday depending on how things go, I'll let you know yeah?"

"Fine - I...I need some air, I think I might stay at John's, I don't know," George stammers, his head reeling and his heart aching when Kyle continues to appear mostly unbothered by the state of their relationship, but maybe he's just obscuring his emotions. George isn't sure of anything anymore, and he's dying for some space and maybe a smoke before he attempts to figure himself out. "I might come back for some stuff if I do," George adds on, delaying his retreat to give Kyle a chance to say something, to show his inner turmoil to George, if he even has any, to prove to George that he wants him, to make him feel loved.

When none of that happens, George turns abruptly on his heel, not bothering to change out of his nice clothes before he's pulling open the door, blinking back tears as he heads in a random direction. His destination doesn't matter, he just wants to get as far away from Kyle as he can before his legs give out on him.

George finds himself near a familiar stairwell which he tells himself is an accident, because he really hadn't meant to end up by Matty's section of flats, but now that he's here, he can't convince himself to move away, especially not when he knows that Matty will probably be off soon, meaning that he'll see George on his way to his place.

It's debatable if George actually wants that to happen though, because as much as he knows Matty will be able to cheer him up, he's practically on the verge of sobs, and he isn't sure if he'll have time to compose himself before Matty arrives - _hell_ , Matty could already be home if it was a slow night at the club, so sitting out here is a bit ridiculous, but George is too exhausted to care.

George sinks down against the closest wall, burying his face in his knees as his breath stutters in his chest. George isn't sure what's just happened, or what he's done, and although he's proud of himself for finally standing up to Kyle, he can't help but wonder if he's made a mistake.

George can't even begin to work through the mess that is his head, it's too much right now. He feels lost and more worthless than he ever has before, not to mention confused, and scared, and so fucking alone. He has no urge to run back to Kyle though, in fact, his instincts had led him to Matty as usual, but George shouldn't be running to him either.

This is no one's burden to bear but his own, but George isn't sure if he can handle the task of making such an important decision by himself. He wishes he could just disappear so he wouldn't have to attempt to fix the shambles of his life that are crumbling down around him as he watches helplessly, but since he can't do that, George lets himself cry instead.


	10. "A Crush"

"Really Matty?" Gemma's voice interrupts Matty's ramblings, her scolding tone emerging through the speaker of his phone so sharply it actually manages to shock him into silence. "I mean, as perfect as this bloke sounds, did you have to fall for someone who's taken?"

"Well I didn't mean to," Matty huffs, a sudden rush of irritation flaring through his body due to Gemma's interruption, but it dissipates as quickly as it comes, "and it's not like I'm in love with him or anything, he's just really nice, and pretty, and caring, and his boyfriend's a dick anyway."

"That's a bit hard for me to believe after you've spent the past half hour basically singing his praises."

Matty responds with a sharp sniff, a part of him regretting ringing Gemma up in the first place since she's nowhere near as ecstatic for him as he assumed she'd be.

He'd called his friend after he'd gotten off to catch up; Gemma had been on holiday with David or whatever his name is and had only just gotten back tonight, so once she'd finished telling him about how lovely Scotland was, she'd asked how he was doing, which had ended with Matty gushing about George in extensive detail since he'd much rather talk about him instead of his monetary problems until he was so rudely cut off mid-way through his narration.

"It's just a bit of a crush," Matty protests, even though he knows it's not, not _anymore_ , but that doesn't mean he isn't still stubbornly trying to convince himself that it is.

"I don't know Matty, you sound quite smitten with him," Gemma tries and fails to stifle a laugh when Matty whines petulantly, leaving Matty to roll his eyes obnoxiously although she can't see him, both hating and loving the way Gemma can read him so easily, "and how do you know his boyfriend is a prick, have you ever even met the lad?"

"Well...no," Matty admits, his cheeks flushing hotly when he realizes that Gemma has brought up a good point, "but he really is awful, I'm not even exaggerating for once. He stands George up all the time, and they're always arguing, honestly if I was George, I would have left him ages ago."

"Matty," Gemma sighs, sounding a bit exasperated with him although Matty doesn't think he deserves the tone of voice she usually saves for when he really fucks up, "I want to be happy for you, and I am... _mostly_ , but maybe being friends with George isn't the best idea."

"Fuck off Gem," Matty snaps, desperate to defend his mostly completely platonic relationship with George until Gemma sees his side of things, "I'm not going to do anything with him, and _yes_ \- I fancy him, but I care about him too, and it's not like we've shagged, or even kissed, so I'm not doing anything wrong."

"I know love, just calm down for a minute," Gemma soothes him, and Matty tries to do just that. He's not really cross at Gemma, he's just tired, and a bit put out since he hasn't seen George in a few days, not to mention that the sight of his block of flats in the distance has reminded him of the bills he's got to sort out when he gets home, and all of those things combined have managed to deflate his mood by a large margin. "George sounds lovely honestly, and if you weren't so caught up on him, I'd be ecstatic that you've found a nice friend, but I'm worried you'll end up hurt if you keep hanging around with him, and I know you Matty, you're attached, don't even try and say that you're not."

"So you're basically saying I'm fucked," Matty groans, tugging at a stray curl that's brushing against his cheek as he turns the corner slowly, "but I can't just stay away, I don't even see him all the often now, we just text mostly and such, but you're probably right, doesn't mean I'm going to take your advice though."

"I'm always right," Gemma adds on, leaving Matty to snort unattractively at her cockiness, "and I'm not saying ignore him or anything, you don't have to listen to me, it's not like you ever do. I just want you to be careful. I haven't seen you show any interest in a guy in ages, and I don't want you doing something you'll regret or ending up with your heart broken."

"I probably will either way, no matter what happens," Matty confesses quietly, his feet dragging as he draws closer to his building so he can prolong their conversation. "I really like him Gem, probably more than anyone I've ever met, but even if he didn't have a boyfriend, I doubt he'd be interested in me. He seems a bit uncomfortable with the idea of strippers in general, and given the fact that I am one, that presents a bit of a problem."

"Oh sod off Matty, I've never even heard of the bloke before tonight and I'd bet a hundred quid that he adores you. I mean in all seriousness, why else would he show up at the club that night he was so upset if not for you, especially if he doesn't like those places? I'm sure he has other friends he could have gone and seen, or stayed home, but he didn't, and that has to mean something."

"I thought that too, really I did," Matty tries to argue, but that's a difficult task when his mind is busy painting his previous evening with George in a new light thanks to Gemma's words, and no matter how hard he tries, he really can't find any fault in her logic. "I was convinced he had a bit of a crush on me, he always used to blush and get shy when I was around at first, but now I can't tell, and I mean, I shouldn't be looking for proof of it anyway, because he's taken, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying."

"Honestly love it seems like you've gotten yourself into a bit of a mess..."

Gemma continues speaking, and although Matty tries to listen, he's distracted by a sniffling sound that keeps punctuating the air at random intervals, the noise confusing Matty since he can't see anyone else nearby that could be making it.

Matty actually gasps aloud when he finally spies a figure huddled near the base of the steps leading up to Matty's flat that he'd missed before thanks to the dark shadows draping across the building. Matty freezes in place, trying to figure out if they're hurt or just drunk before he decides what to do next, but as he inspects them closer, he recognizes the person as none other than George himself.

The messy blonde hair that's actually a bit neater than usual gives it away, and for a brief moment, Matty wonders if he somehow managed to summon George with his mind since he'd been unconsciously longing to see him all evening, or maybe George missed Matty too and decided to wait for him here since he couldn't stop by the club, which is a thought that pleases Matty more than it should, even if it is a bit farfetched given the cold temperature and the fact that George most likely would have texted him if that had been the case.

But when George makes another stifled sound which seems to be laced with pain, Matty forces himself to stop being ridiculous, and really, the why of George's unexpected presence doesn't matter, because it's apparent that he's crying given his hitched inhalations and his heaving shoulders although Matty can't see his face since he's got it buried in his large hands.

"You okay?" Gemma asks, which means she must have heard Matty's startled exclamation although George hasn't seemed to notice that he's no longer alone.

"I've got to go, call you later," Matty hisses as quietly as he can, stuffing his phone into his jacket once he ends the call before taking a tentative step closer to George.

George lifts his head slightly then, his red eyes meeting Matty's briefly before he presses back against the wall like he wants to sink inside of it. George's sobs instantly stop once he's aware that he has company, leaving Matty's unsure of if he should continue his advance or retreat and give George some privacy, even if he thinks he might be physically incapable of leaving George alone now that he's seen him.

"George...are - what happened?" Matty changes his query at the last minute, because he was going to ask if George is alright, but it's obvious that he's not. Matty takes a few more hesitant paces forward when George doesn't immediately ask him to leave, pulling his coat tighter to his body as a particularly frigid gust of air sweeps through the open area.

"Nothing," George chokes out weakly after a few seconds of silence, his fingers wiping rapidly at his eyes in an attempt to hide all traces of the tears staining them, "I'm so sorry, I don't - I..."

Matty's heart aches in his chest as George trails off without finishing his statement, because he might not understand why George is so upset, but seeing him this way hurts Matty so much it has him on the verge of tears himself.

Matty's never been good at comforting people, just Louis really, but he's overcome with the urge to fix everything that's ever gone wrong in George's life, and just like that time at the club in which George was in a similar position, Matty finds himself moving without thinking, his feet taking him to George's side as his arms wrap their way around his shuddering middle, his knees smarting slightly as he sinks down onto the unforgiving concrete so he can hold George loosely.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Matty murmurs, doing the best he can to keep his mind blank when George turns into Matty fully and tugs their forms closer together, knocking the air out of Matty's lung as he feels George's nails digging into his hips desperately as if Matty is hiding the answer to all of his problems under his skin.

"Everything's fucked," George sighs against the top of Matty's head, his voice breaking halfway through his sentence in a manner that's so tortured Matty truly thinks he's about to start crying just from seeing George in such a state. "I - I don't know what I'm doing, or why I'm here," George continues speaking when he's able to, and Matty stays quiet, not wanting to break the moment or to lose the fleeting warmth that's radiating from George's chest.

"Was it Kyle?" Matty dares to ask, praying that he's not wrong so he doesn't come off like the jealous prick that he actually is, but honestly, he really doubts that it could be anything else.

"Yeah - I...he - it doesn't matter really, it was just another fight, but it was worse this time, but I'm probably just overreacting, and I hate the way I always do this, look at me bothering you again, you probably need sleep, just - I'll be fine, you should go on up."

Matty bites his lip to keep from protesting when George pulls away from him suddenly, leaving Matty shivering and bereft, his skin tingling gently as if his body's trying to imprint the way George felt against him into his memory, but now isn't the time to be focusing on such things, not when George is so visibly upset, so Matty does his best to pretend like his next statement is for George only and not at all selfish in nature.

"It matters to me, _you_ matter to me," Matty's stomach flips uncomfortably when George doesn't respond, so he continues onward with the hope that more words will erase his previous sentiment, "and I can't leave you like this. Do you want to pop up to mine, I can make you some tea if you'd like?"

"I shouldn't," George instantly protests. Matty recognizes the panicked look in George's eyes that hasn't been present since their first few conversations, which means that Matty has unintentionally crossed the line that he's carefully been dancing around for the entirety of their friendship.

Matty doesn't mean anything by his offer, he just wants George to calm down and get out of the cold, but the last thing he desires is to make George uncomfortable, which he apparently has done. Matty wracks his brain quickly, trying to think like the friend he should be and not the person who fancies George more than he should, coming up with a solution that worked once before, and will hopefully do the same again.

"That's fine," Matty smiles, placing his hand gently over George's which is clenched into such a tight fist that Matty's surprised he hasn't drawn blood from his palms yet, "I need to walk Allen anyway, and he'd love to see you again. You could come with us if you'd like?"

"That sounds nice," George nods slowly, his muscles visibly relaxing under Matty's touch, "I think I'll wait down here though, not really feeling up to all those stairs."

"All right then, I'll be back in a mo." Matty shoots George a grin as he hurries away, a part of him fearing that George will be gone if he doesn't return quickly. He recognizes George's excuse for a paltry attempt at a cover up, but he's not stupid enough to point that out, so all he can do is keep his fingers crossed that George will still be there when he gets back.

Matty's a bit confused over why George is so reluctant to set foot in his flat though, it's not like he's never been in it before, even if it's usually only for brief moments after walking Matty home or before they head out to get a bite to eat, but Matty does have a theory, he just can't allow himself to ponder over it for too long in case he gets his hopes up.

But as Matty rushes inside and tries to get Allen to sit still so he can clip his leash on, he can't help but wonder if George is afraid of coming into Matty's home because he wants to be behind a closed door with him. Kyle has obviously done something truly horrendous this time to have George so broken up over it, maybe he'd even left George, and if that's the case, perhaps George is finally starting to feel something for Matty as well.

But _no_ \- Matty's probably fabricating his own desires into reality here, and even if he's managed to unearth some truth with his musings, it doesn't matter, because George is hurting right now, and Matty's only goal is to make him feel better, not to find out if he's now got a chance with him, that can come later if his suspicions are correct.

Matty heaves out a sigh of relief when he arrives back on the ground floor and finds George exactly where he'd left him. He had been truly afraid that George was going to run off the second Matty left, but he hadn't, he's still here, turning to Matty with a slight smile on his lips that quickly transforms into a true grin when he spots Allen trotting along happily by Matty's heels.

"Hey boy," George coos softly, his voice clearer than it's been all evening. Matty's glad that he's composed himself a bit, otherwise Matty isn't sure how long it would have been before he started sniffling himself. "You get bigger every time I see you, it won't be long before you're taller than Matty."

"Very funny," Matty chuckles, his stomach tying itself into knots when George's gaze meets his for a brief moment, which is ridiculous, because it's just a look, but George's irises are glittering slightly, and he looks so fucking beautiful in his fancy clothes even with dark circles under his eyes and tear stained cheeks, and _really_ \- Matty thinks he deserves an award for not leaning in and kissing him then and there. "I usually just let him run around in the back lot, he's good about staying close, but if you want to go on a proper walk, that's fine too," Matty rambles quickly, hoping that if he keeps speaking for long enough, his attraction to George will fade back down to its usual, manageable level.

It doesn't though, _of course_ it doesn't, because there's something about the fact that George always turns to him when he's upset, and the way that Matty's already managed to cheer him up without really doing anything at all that leaves Matty overcome with a rush of emotions all centered around George, which means that Gemma is right, and he's most likely going to end up hurt in the end, but he can't give up, not now when George might be beginning to feel something for him as well if the way he leans closer to Matty means anything at all.

"Whatever you usually do is fine." George's low voice breaks the spell that Matty's been trapped in, unlocking his limbs and allowing him to move forward at a slow pace. George follows him instantly, his attention captured by Allen who is busy darting in between Matty and George like he can't decide whose attention he wants more, giving Matty a chance to pull himself together before he ruins everything with his unruly attraction to George. "Thank you by the way," George speaks up again just when Matty is debating over what to say next, "I really feel terrible for always dumping all of my problems on you, but seeing you helps, and I just - I'm really grateful that you're here."

"Stop apologizing love, seriously, I'm your friend," Matty keeps his spine locked straight so he won't cringe at the term, because being George's friend is truly wonderful, even if he's constantly craving more, "and if you're upset, I want to be there for you. I hate the thought of you having a sob in the cold all by yourself."

"I haven't been here long," George shrugs like that somehow makes it better, which it doesn't, at least not to Matty. "I was going to try and phone my friend when I'd calmed down a bit, but he's probably asleep already."

"You can ring him up now if you like," Matty suggests, not wanting to stop George from speaking with someone who probably knows him and his situation better even though he'd much rather George tell him about it instead.

"Nah," George shakes his head slowly, his eyes following Allen's bouncy form as Matty unhooks his leash and lets him wander around the small grassy area they'd stop in. "I'm alright...sort of, or I will be."

"Well if you want to talk about it, I'm always willing to listen," Matty reminds George gently, unsure of if George wants him to pry or not.

George usually calls Matty and spills everything without any coaxing when he's in the mood to chat, but this is the first time that Matty's seen George so vulnerable, even that night in the club during which Kyle had canceled their date was nothing compared to this moment.

Matty follows George lead when he slumps down onto the curb with a heavy sigh, swallowing back his curiosity induced questions since he can tell by George's conflicted features that he's trying to decide what he wants to say next. Matty tells himself that he only places his body so close to George in an attempt to create a barrier from the harsh wind that's buffering at them, and not for any other reason, but when George leans against Matty heavily, Matty gives up on trying to convince himself that he isn't enjoying every second of it.

"It's just, Kyle - it's _always_ Kyle, and you know enough about him by now to guess that he's a bit of a tosser, which I shouldn't be saying, but he is." Matty opens his mouth to reply, but George barrels over him, so Matty closes his jaw with a soft snap, subtlety pressing closer to George as another chilly burst of air swirls around them. "So we were at that rehearsal dinner right, and as we're leaving, he casually announces he's going out of town without asking me about it first, which means he's going to miss the bloody wedding, and I'll have to go alone. He was such an arse all night, and then he drops this on me and expects me to be happy for him because it's a big case, but honestly, I'm starting to despise his job, it's all he cares about lately."

"What a prick," Matty huffs without thinking, earning himself a short bark of laughter from George in return, which has Matty's insides warming up despite the icy temperatures.

"I called him that tonight actually," George continues to chuckle, one of his arms wrapping around Matty's shoulder when he shivers slightly, the motion appearing to be almost instinctually, and _fuck_ \- Matty would gladly freeze to death if it meant George would do this for him more often, "but it wasn't just that honestly. We got into a bit of a row, and I - I asked him if he was cheating, and he says he's not, but nothing else makes any sense to me. I ended up walking out, I honestly don't even know if we're together anymore, I told him we'd talk when he got back, and the worst thing is that he seemed practically unbothered by it all, like it didn't really matter either way if I stayed or left."

" _Fuck_ \- you really think he's seeing someone else?" Matty gasps, because George has never mentioned this before, but it explains so much of Kyle's abysmal behavior if it's true.

"I don't know for sure," George sniffs sharply, and Matty can feel how his breathing is starting to become labored again thanks to their close proximity, inspiring him to place his hand on George's knees, rubbing his thumb over the stiff fabric of his trousers in a way he hopes is comforting, "and that's the problem really. If I did, I could break things off and move on, but I could be imagining things too, I just don't think I am, it's too similar to how he acted before you know?"

"Wait...has he done this in the past?" Matty asks, his heart dropping into his stomach when George shifts away from him slightly without providing an answer. "Has he George?"

"I - it's not really all that bad, it was just...I mean -"

" _George_ ," Matty repeats sternly, his eyebrows furrowing downward as he captures George's chin in his thin fingers without thinking about his actions, forcing him to look directly into his eyes, "has he done his before...yes or no?"

Matty knows this isn't really his business, and he shouldn't be pushing George, but despite society's image of strippers, Matty is appalled by cheating, and he can't understand how someone could do that to the person they're supposed to love.

"Yes," George admits weakly, the answer leaving him in a rush of air that hits Matty so hard it's as if he's the one with the unfaithful boyfriend, causing his eyes to sting slightly as George visibly crumbles in front of him. "Once, but it was ages ago, we were in uni still, and we hadn't been together all that long. He swore it was a one time thing, and that he'd made a mistake. He promised me it would never happen again, and for so long things were good, but now it's all gone to hell."

Matty's never cheated or been cheated on, not that he knows of anyway, _hell_ \- he hasn't maintained a relationship long enough for that to happen to him. He's had friends who have suffered through it though, and knowing that Kyle has done that to George has him seething and saddened all at once. Half of him wants to cry, while the other side of him is thrumming with anger, leaving him eager to hunt down Kyle and hope he's nowhere near George's size so Matty can tell him exactly what he thinks of him.

"That's not okay George - _fuck_ , why are you still even with him?" Matty blurts out before he can stop himself. He'd never put up with someone if they'd done that to him, and the fact that George is acting like it's not all that big a deal shows how little he truly thinks of himself. "That's awful - _appalling_ even, you don't deserve that shit, fucking hell...I'm so sorry." Matty ends on a bit of wail, his throat aching with suppressed tears that are seconds away from forcing themselves out.

"Oh god Matty, please don't cry over me," George exclaims when he notices how worked up Matty's gotten, but his words have the opposite of their intended effect, and Matty is helpless to stop the small cry that escapes his lips.

Matty ends up sobbing softly against George's shoulder when he pulls him into a tight embrace, which isn't how this was supposed to go, but Matty hates knowing that George has been betrayed like this so much that he feels as if it's all happening to him as well.

"I'm sorry - I..." Matty tries to apologize for his ridiculous behavior, but every time he attempts to speak, he ends up crying even harder, so he quickly gives up on explaining himself, letting George hold him as his tears soak into his nice button up shirt.

"It's alright love, I'm fine, he might not even be cheating," George soothes him, his fingers brushing Matty's hair back from his face as he bites his lip roughly, choking back his sobs with a supreme effort of a will that he wishes he possessed a few seconds ago.

Matty's distress seems to catch Allen's attention as well; the tension of the moment breaks when the dog hops on the curb next to them, his broad side pushing against Matty's arm as he noses his way in between Matty and George as if he wants to make sure that they're okay. Matty pets Allen weakly before sitting up, dragging the hem of his jumper over his face although he knows he's probably only made himself look worse in the process.

"I'm sorry, I cry pretty easily, I just - that's so fucked up George, because it's _not fine_ , and the fact that he did it once means he most likely will do it again." Matty hiccups unsteadily, but George has to hear this from someone, and Matty isn't just bashing Kyle in the hopes of receiving a chance with George if they break up, for once his own attraction to George is absent from his mind. Matty doesn't care who George is dating at this moment, he just wants George to be with someone who will treat him right, and Kyle obviously isn't that person.

"John keeps telling me the same thing," George chuckles quietly, his thumb brushing over a stray tear that Matty had missed earlier, "he's my friend by the way, the one that's getting married."

"He sounds like a bright lad."

"He is, and a part of me knows that you're both right, because I see him with his fiancé and I know that Kyle and I don't have that sort of love, that we won't ever look that happy, but then I try to convince myself to leave him, and I just - I think about how much I'll miss him, no matter how awful he is to me. I don't do well on my own, and then what if I'm wrong and I call things off for no reason...I don't know, my head's a mess honestly."

"Well you don't have to figure it all out tonight," Matty points out once he's regained control of his emotions, "and if he's leaving like you said, maybe take the time away from him to properly sort through everything, like weigh out the pros and cons, so when he gets back you'll have a better idea of what to do and where to go from here."

Matty wants to say more, to press his advantage, to bring up all of the terrible things Kyle has done during the short time that Matty's known George, but he doesn't, because he thinks that deep down, George knows that Kyle and him aren't working anymore, but that's a decision that George has to make on his own, Matty can't do that for him.

"That's probably for the best, I'll see how I feel in a week or so," George agrees before standing up when Allen removes himself from his lap, pulling Matty to his feet with a gentle grip around his wrist that leaves Matty breathless even after he's regained his feet and George is no longer touching him. "Now come on, you need to get back inside, your lips are turning blue."

"I'm fine," Matty waves George off, but he proves his own words wrong when he attempts to clip on Allen's lead only for his numb fingers to drop the metal clasp. George grabs the leash before Matty can reach for it, attaching it to Allen's collar easily which has Matty scoffing under his breath. "I could have done that you know, it just slipped."

"Sure it did," George grins in an infectious manner that has Matty mirroring the expression even though he means to pout instead, but it's impossible not to smile when George ruffles Allen's ears quickly before enveloping Matty's icy hand with his free one and leading them both back in the direction of his flat, and although Matty knows George is only trying to warm him up, the kind gesture still means so much more to him than it should.

"Are you going back home or..." Matty allows his questions to fade away into nothing when he realizes that he was about to ask George if he'd rather stay at his place for the night, but he doesn't want to scare George off again like he did earlier.

"I guess, might text John actually, see if he's up so I can sleep there. I don't really want to face Kyle again right now, not when I'm finally starting to feel better."

"I've got a spare room," Matty cuts in despite his earlier intentions, "it's still furnished and everything. Gem never came by to pick any of it up, think she used it as an excuse to go shopping actually, and you don't have to of course, but if your friend doesn't answer, I've always got space for you."

George pauses abruptly on the landing they've just arrived on, and as much as Matty wants to see his face to try and gauge his reaction, he's too afraid to meet his eyes just in case they're full of rejection. It doesn't matter really, George doesn't have to stay with Matty, even though the thought of him going back to his boyfriend has Matty feeling a bit ill, but if he wants to, that's fine, and Matty's already overstepped enough boundaries for one evening as it is.

George surprises Matty by pulling him into a quick embrace instead of replying with words, his lips brushing against his forehead in what has to be an accident, and honestly, the contact is so brief Matty might have imagined it, but his skin burns where he swears George touched it, leaving Matty giddy and lightheaded when George steps back with a sheepish expression on his face.

"I'd really appreciate that," George agrees while Matty is still reeling slightly, and although he doesn't mention his unexpected show of affection, he also doesn't appear nervous or guilty either, which most likely means the chaste parody of a kiss was completely unintentional, "and Matty, thank you, for everything. You're just - I _really_...I don't know what I did to deserve you."

Matty almost starts crying again then and there, because George deserves so much, he deserves the fucking _world_ , but he manages to contain his emotions this time, busying himself with digging out his key so he can hide his blushing face and watery eyes from the man that Matty thinks he might be starting to fall in love with despite his best intentions.


	11. "You've Spoiled Me"

George is pulled out of his slumber by an uncomfortable tingling sensation shooting up his arm which is quickly morphing from a slight annoyance into pain, but when he tries to adjust the numb limb, he finds that it's pinned by a warm weight, which of course has him instantly panicking.

This isn't one of those instances where George can't remember where he is, because he knows he spent the night at Matty's place after his fight with Kyle, but when he drifted off last night, he'd been alone, he's sure of it, but now that's apparently not the case.

George wracks his brain frantically, playing over the events of the evening to make sure he hadn't glossed over something that might have ended with Matty sleeping with him, but he comes up blank.

They hadn't even spoken much after they'd entered Matty's flat, he'd simply given George some clothes to change into before showing him the guest bedroom and saying he was going to take a shower, telling George to make himself at home, which George had immediately done by curling up under the shocking bright yellow duvet and falling asleep almost instantly.

Maybe this is simply a dream, and George's mind is torturing him with scenarios that would be pleasant under other circumstances, but when George's arm continues to prickle uncomfortably and the person lying on it doesn't move, George is forced to accept that this is all very real.

George keeps his eyes closed for as long as he can as if that will make the presence beside him disappear, but when he feels something cold pressing against his bare arm, his curiosity gets the best of him, and what he sees when he finally cracks open his lids has him laughing throatily when he spies Allen curled up next to him, his nose tucked into George's elbow which explains the slight chill spreading across his skin.

George's heart slows back down to its normal rate once he realizes that his companion isn't Matty, although his stomach also twists slightly with something that might be disappointment, but George ignores it, because as much as he adores Matty, he's relieved that nothing happened between them, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if it had.

"What're you doing in here boy?" George mumbles hoarsely, slowly inching his trapped forearm out from under the dog that weighs more than George would have expected.

Allen doesn't respond of course, but he does raise his head briefly, his ears perking up at the sound of George's voice before he seems to lose interest in George entirely, focusing his attention instead on snuggling closer to George which has George grinning as he pets Allen's fur gently.

George hums under his breath when Allen stops fidgeting, trying to enjoy the peaceful morning for as long as he can before he's forced to sort through what had happened last night, but he's only successful for a few minutes before his head starts spinning in chaotic circles.

It's hard not to think about the mess he's landed himself in when he's sleeping in a strange bed with an animal that's showing him more affection than Kyle has in months, and George is aware that pretending his relationship isn't in shambles won't help anything.

Kyle - _fuck_ , even thinking his name has George groaning internally. George can't help but wonder what he's doing right now, if he's headed off to work like nothing has changed, or maybe he broke down as well the second George left. Did his miss George's presence in their bed, or did he invite someone else over to fill the space? George has no idea which area of the spectrum Kyle is in right now, and that's the hardest part of all of this: the indecision, the insecurities, the constant doubt that nags at his brain even when George isn't consciously aware of it.

George gets one of his numerous questions answered when he rolls over and reaches for his phone which he'd left on the nightstand. It's almost dead since George's charger is still at home, and when George sees a text notification from Kyle, he almost wishes that the battery had given out so he wouldn't have to face whatever Kyle's chosen to say to him.

George opens the message anyway, not quite sure what to expect, or even to hope for really, but what's there has his lungs tightening painfully, even though he shouldn't be surprised by anything Kyle does by this point, but he hasn't detached himself enough to reach the stage where his actions no longer wound him.

_"Got a flight booked for this morning, should be gone around 7am so you can come back if_ _you'd like_ _. I don't know what you want me to say, and I am sorry for leaving on such short notice, but I'm also not sure what to do about us either. If you want to talk, you can ring me. I have no clue what my schedule is yet so don't be mad if I_ _can't_ _pick up_ _although knowing you you'll_ _probably jump to conclusions anyway._

George isn't sure if he wants to throw his phone or cry when he reads through the short paragraph, but there's another addition underneath it, so he keeps reading, biting at his lip so harshly that he rips off a layer of skin before he notices what he's done.

_"I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I'm still upset I guess - I don't know George. You're acting strange lately as well, not just me. I hope we can work something out though, but I don't_ _enjoy_ _being interrogated like I was last night. I have a life outside of you, and I know you do too, so can we just put this behind us?"_

George tosses down his phone without responding, blinking his eyes furiously to erase the few tears that are beginning to pool against his lashes. He doesn't want to cry, not after sobbing so much last night, but it seems like everything Kyle does lately has him emotional and unstable, which isn't how things should be, and George is finally trying to change that.

George mulls over Kyle's words for so long that Allen wakes up again and shifts further down on the bed until he's situated himself between George's knees, but he finds that he still has no idea what to say to him, so he ends up not bothering with an answer just yet. Kyle is probably on the plane already anyway, so his phone is most likely off, and even if it wasn't, George doesn't really care if he gets stroppy over being left on seen.

George decides to get up before he works himself into a bad state, padding across the short hallway quietly just in case Matty is still asleep, which he seems to be. His bedroom door is open, but George resists the urge to peek inside, instead heading in the direction of the kitchen, deciding that the least he can do for Matty is make him breakfast after he'd been so wonderful last night.

George still feels a bit guilty about the way he turns to Matty every time things go sour with Kyle, but he'd needed him last night, and he doesn't regret telling Matty about their spat. If it hadn't been for the dancer, George isn't sure if he'd have been able to pull himself together at all, but the second he'd seen his friend, it was as if everything had become more bearable, and sharing his hidden fears regarding Kyle's infidelities with Matty had been more liberating than George had expected it to be.

Still, it scares George how much Matty means to him, how a simple embrace from the other man had George soaring upward when only moments ago he'd been broken and inconsolable. It hadn't felt wrong though, and _really_ , it wasn't like George had searched Matty out for anything other than comfort. Friends do those sort of things for each other, in fact, if he'd gone to John's, a very similar situation would have occurred, but because it had happened with Matty, everything is different, and George isn't sure if he should berate himself for that or not.

And if George is being honest with himself, he'd wanted Matty to be Kyle last night, even if he hadn't specifically been thinking those words in his head, but when Matty had dropped to his knees and wrapped his skinny arms around him, he'd wished that Matty was his boyfriend, or maybe that Kyle was more like him.

George aches for someone that cares for him as much as Matty seems to, who'll sit out in the cold with him just because he's worried about him even when it had been apparent that Matty was freezing, but Kyle doesn't put in that amount of effort anymore, _hell_ \- George can barely recall a time when he was anywhere near as genuine and heartfelt as Matty.

George hadn't meant to stay the night with Matty though, no matter how tempting the offer had been when Matty had first invited him up, because George was fragile, and desperate, and he'd been afraid he'd do something idiotic if he'd allowed Matty to show him the kindness he'd been craving.

George doesn't think he'd every actually cheat, although his relationship status is a bit up in the air at the moment, but his feelings for Matty are growing by the day, and George hadn't wanted to test his resolve while he was in such a vulnerable state.

Matty had worn him down though, _obviously_ , which is why he's here now in a t-shirt that isn't his own but surprisingly fits him quite well, perusing through Matty's kitchen instead of alone in his own flat like he usually is, but George thinks he made the right choice, _mostly_.

Still - he'd meant to say no when Matty had suggested staying with him, there were too many instances in which this could end badly, but when he'd seen his honest expression laced with concern, he hadn't been able to deny Matty anything when it was so glaringly apparently that he only wanted to do whatever he could to help George.

George glosses over what had occurred after that, because he can't think about the way his lips had brushed against the curls flopping over Matty's forehead when he'd pulled him against his chest as a way of an answer when his words had failed him. George hadn't meant for it to happen, but it _had_ , although he is doing his best to forget that it did. George refuses to recall how soft Matty's skin was, or how his small frame had fit so perfectly with his, or how he'd hadn't wanted to let him go, at least not yet.

George can't keep pretending he isn't smitten with Matty though, his attraction to him isn't going away, he'd figured that out after his chat with John, and maybe spending some time with him will help George understand if he's simply searching for attention from anyone that'll give it to him or if there is really something special about Matty that might be worth pursuing no matter how difficult George's situation is.

George has a hunch that it's the latter, he knows that whatever he's feeling for Matty is more than a passing fancy, they've been friends for long enough now to solidify that, but he has to figure out if he and Kyle have truly reached their end before he focuses on someone else, so shoves all thoughts of Matty into the far reaches of his mind as he digs in the surprisingly bare fridge for something suitable to make.

George closes the door when all he finds is half a gallon of milk and some random condiments that look as if they need to be tossed out, moving on to the cabinets instead, which are also just as empty, the shelves only holding a box of Special K that has George smiling to himself, as well as some crisps, a loaf of bread, and a bag of dog food that George accidently brushes against, resulting in Allen barreling in from the bedroom presumably in the hopes of receiving a meal from George.

"Sorry boy, you've got to wait for Matty," George apologizes to the dog, and although he's tempted to put out some morsels in the silver bowl that's located near his foot, he doesn't want to fuck up by giving Allen too much or too little, so he simply strokes Allen's ears instead although he doesn't seem at all mollified by the gesture.

George glances around briefly as if he'll find some breakfast ingredients hidden in the corners of the room as he continues to pet Allen, but he quickly comes to the conclusion that if he's going to make something besides cereal, he's going to have to pop down to his flat for some ingredients, which he isn't at all opposed to. He needs a change of clothes anyway since he looks ridiculous in Matty's, which hadn't bothered him last night, but now the way the trackies are resting above his ankles is starting to make George feel a bit ridiculous.

George snags his phone, keys, and outfit from last night before slipping on his shoes and sneaking out of the flat as silently as he can, hurrying down the steps quicker than he normally would, partially because of the cold which has him breaking out in goosebumps already, but he also wants to return speedily so Matty doesn't assume George had bunked off without even so much as a thank you.

George quickly gathers what he needs once he's pulled on a pair of jeans and a warm jumper, letting his phone charge as he empties his kitchen of anything he thinks Matty might like.

George briefly ponders over Matty's lack of groceries while he's stuffing the items into a paper bag he had lying around, because he's never seen someone with such empty pantries. His hadn't even been that bad during his time in uni, but Matty most likely had been planning on going shopping today or something. It's silly of George to waste his time mulling it over, although focusing on Matty's food situation is preferable to thinking about Kyle who seems to be lurking everywhere in his home even though he's probably halfway to France right now.

George makes it back to Matty's flat in under twenty minutes, and much to his relief, Matty hasn't seemed to notice his absence, or even woken up for that matter. George spends much too long debating on if he should check if he's still asleep, finally allowing himself to creep down the hallway until he can just make out Matty's face through the wide crack in the door.

George makes himself turn away almost instantly, but he isn't quick enough to stop the subtle swelling of his heart when he sees how peaceful Matty looks, and even after he's back in the kitchen mixing eggs in a bowl, he can't stop picturing how Matty's curls had splayed across his pillow, or his eyelashes which are so long they almost graze his cheekbones, or the way one of his hands was curled around his own wrist just like George's had done last night, and _fuck_ \- he wants to do that again, wants to feel Matty's pulse under his fingers as he pulls him closer to him, wants to hold Matty close just because he can and not while he's on the verge of tears.

George startles himself when he feels a wet splash against his arm, and it's only then that he realizes that he's been stirring so furiously he'd gotten egg all over the counter and himself. George has to take a deep breath to steady his shaking hands, forcing his mind to go as blank as possible so he can finish up his preparations without leaving Matty's kitchen as messy as his life currently is.

Matty wanders into the room just when George is practically done with the sausage, the eggs are already scrambled and the toast is buttered as well. George almost misses the soft sound of his footsteps over the sizzling from the stove, but his body seems to turn toward Matty before he's truly aware that he's there, although George really doesn't want to dwell on that or the implications of his visceral connection to the other man, especially not now that he's gotten his thoughts mostly Matty free.

George doesn't know why he bothers though, because when he sees Matty wrapped up in a dark blue blanket with his hair tousled all over the place, George's brain is filled with nothing but Matty. George smiles at him briefly before returning his attention to the food, putting entirely too much effort into sliding the sausages onto a plate as he waits for his cheeks to stop blushing so furiously.

"Am I dreaming?" Matty mumbles sleepily, his voice emitting deeper than usual as he plops down on a nearby chair, causing the blanket to pool around his waist. George finds himself becoming jealous of a piece of fucking fabric for being able to touch Matty while he can't, which is so ridiculous that George has to chew on the inside of his mouth to stop himself from erupting in a fit of laughter.

"Don't think so," George chuckles lowly, staying as calm as he can while pouring out the orange juice he'd brought up into a glass before setting it in front of Matty with a soft click.

"I must be, that's the only time people make me breakfast with ingredients that I know I didn't have here when I fell asleep."

"Do you often dream about people making you breakfast?" George teases, preparing two portions for the both of them even though he has no idea how much Matty wants, busying himself with the task as if he's serving the bloody queen, arranging the items with a finesse that is entirely unnecessary, but George feels more grounded as long as he's got something to do with his hands.

"Sometimes," Matty shrugs playfully, eyeing George over the rim of his glass before downing half of the juice in one go. "It's awful when I wake up, I end up craving eggs all day but I'm always too lazy to make them."

"That does sound horrible," George agrees, doing his best to focus on Matty's words and not the drop of moisture that's hovering at the edge of his pursed lips as he makes his way back over to the table with the dishes carefully balanced on his palms.

"Seriously though - how long have you been up?" Matty asks, digging into the food eagerly when George slides it onto the table.

"Not long," George answers, although he honestly isn't sure if that's true or not. "I made a trip down to my flat to get us some food, thought the least I owed you was a nice meal after everything you've done for me."

"George," Matty exhales heavily, setting his fork to the side briefly as he gazes up at George like he'd just accomplished an incredible feat, some of the sleep sloughing from his expression, allowing George to view something in Matty's eyes that he can't quite place, but he knows it leaves him feeling warm and overwhelmed the longer their gazes lock, "that's...really lovely of you."

"It was nothing honestly, I like cooking, and god knows half of this will probably go to waste now that Kyle is out of town." George hates how his voice wavers when he mentions Kyle, but it's something he can't help. George braces himself for Matty to ask him more about their falling out, to maybe inquire about how he's feeling or something like that, but he doesn't much to George's relief.

"Still - I appreciate it," Matty all but whispers, his voice trembling more than George's had only moments before, and George thinks he might actually be on the verge of tears judging by the shiny quality to his irises. "I mean, it's _just_ \- I know it's only breakfast, but you don't know how much this means to me."

"Of course love, I can cook for you any time you want," George smiles softly, the pet name slipping out before he can stop it, but it feels right to use here, because George can sense something is bothering Matty that he doesn't yet understand, but he isn't going to pry no matter how badly he wants to.

George twiddles with his silverware as Matty sniffles quietly, confusion thrumming inside of him as he tries to figure out if Matty's upset or just so grateful he doesn't know how to react, although George had never imagined that he'd get this sort of response from the other man when he'd originally decided to make him a meal, and he's starting to worry that maybe he's done something wrong without his knowledge.

George is starting to figure out that Matty is very open with his emotions by this point though, but it's hard to properly decipher them without knowing Matty better, which is something he hopes he gets the chance to do in the near future.

With his impeccable timing, Allen wanders back into the kitchen just then, saving George from thinking of a suitable subject change with his presence, his nails tapping lightly against the tile as if to announce his arrival.

"Ah there you are traitor," Matty giggles quietly, his face pulling into a pout when Allen ends up sitting by George's chair without giving Matty so much as a passing glance. "Little shit always sleeps with me, but not last night. He's really taken a liking to you."

"He almost gave me a heart attack when I woke up," George admits sheepishly, instantly wishing he hadn't when he remembers how he'd briefly assumed it was Matty in bed with him, "not used to waking up with a large animal next to me and all."

"I'm sorry about him, I didn't think he'd bother you honestly."

"It's fine, he was quite a good cuddler actually," George grins, leaning down to pat Allen fondly on the head which only results in him getting his fingers licked since Allen apparently wants food more than affection. "I didn't feed him by the way," George adds on, "wasn't sure how much to give him and all that."

Matty laughs then, leaving George confused by his unexpected mirth, but he can't deny that he loves hearing the joyful sound fall from Matty's throat, and although he's left in the dark regarding the reason behind it, he ends up chuckling around his mouthful of toast as well, something about seeing Matty so happy resonating inside of him in a way that's borderline frightening given how intense it is.

"You are really the sweetest person ever aren't you?" Matty asks once he's contained himself. "You don't have to feed my bloody dog George, you didn't have to do any of this," Matty speaks up again as George fumbles for words, that indecipherable expression that George still can't name crossing over his features for a second time.

"I know, but I don't want to be a bother," George explains, or at least tries to. He doesn't think he's done all that much, especially not after Matty had opened up his home to him, but he's quite pleased that his small gestures have managed to make such an impression with Matty.

"You never are," Matty grins, polishing off his plate before standing up and retrieving Allen's bowl from the ground. "You're really a wonderful houseguest, I haven't had a meal this nice since my nan last cooked for me. I'm not going to want you to leave now that you've spoiled me so much."

George doesn't know how to respond to that, but Matty doesn't seem to expect one, so he keeps his mouth shut, his lips continuously tugging upward at the corners as he watches Matty scoop out Allen's food from the corner of his eye.

George vaguely thinks about how this is the sort of morning he wishes he could share with Kyle, but for once, the shortcomings in his relationship doesn't bother him all that much, maybe because he might be able to experience more occasions like this with Matty in the future, or maybe it's just the idea that he can be happy without Kyle that has him so cheerful, but either way, George already feels like something inside of him is beginning to heal, and if Matty's the cause of that, then maybe George really had made the right decision by turning to Matty last night after all.


	12. "We're Just Friends"

"So..." Matty clears his throat roughly while George is busy doing the dishes despite Matty's earlier protests stating that they could wait until later, "did you have any plans for today?"

George bites on his lip for a moment in favor of speaking, because he can't quite tell if that's Matty's way of suggesting that he stick around for a bit or if he has something to do and he's trying to discover when George is going to leave so he can get on with his life.

"Not really," George finally answers honestly, toweling off the last plate slowly as he watches Matty carefully from the corner of his eyes. "Probably get some work done if I can manage it, but that won't take long."

"Well if you'd like, I'm going to get that dad tattoo I mentioned later this afternoon, and if you're not busy, I'd love some company."

George hesitates for a second time, waging the now familiar battle with himself regarding what he should do in this situation. He wants to go of course, in fact, he'd like nothing more than to spend the entire day with Matty, but he isn't sure if that is beneficiary for either of them in the long run.

"I-"

"You don't have to honestly," Matty barrels over the start of George's sentence before he can get another word out, "I just don't like getting a tattoo alone, which is silly, I mean, it doesn't even hurt all that bad, but I like having someone else there to focus on if that makes sense, but it doesn't have to be you. I can ring up my friend Gem and see if she's free, so if you'd rather not, I totally understand."

"Matty, calm down," George chuckles softly, resisting the side of him that is tempted to pull Matty into his arms and stroke his askew curls until he remembers to take a breath again which is getting progressively harder to ignore the longer he stays near the other man, "I'll come with you, just give me a few hours to make some progress on my article and I'll be ready to go."

"Really?" Matty looks so thrilled at the prospect of George joining him that George isn't sure what to say, so he just nods instead, which has Matty grinning cheerily as he rushes over to George's side, embracing him so quickly that George doesn't have a chance to reciprocate the affectionate gesture before Matty's pulling away. "I'm so excited, you can meet Jesse, he's my artist. He's lovely, in fact, he's letting me get this for free as long as I tip him a bit. I probably should check in with him to make sure we're still good for today, but he does amazing work if you ever want a new piece, although you might already have a shop you go to, I never really asked, but you probably do, I mean, your ink is much better than mine."

Matty continues to ramble on as he scrambles around supposedly looking for his phone, and George lets him, simply bobbing his head and humming at appropriate moments as he observes Matty. George thinks he seems a bit uncomfortable, or nervous maybe judging by the way he's running his mouth and he keeps bumping into things as well.

George reacts in a similar fashion when he's out of his element, but he doesn't understand why Matty's behaving so oddly in his own home, leaving him to wonder if he has something to do with it, which could be good or bad depending on the why behind it all.

"Well how about I let you phone him up and I'll head back to mine for a bit. You can pop down there whenever you're ready, you remember the number right?" George suggests when Matty fails at finding his phone, although George is positive it's still in his room since he hadn't seen Matty bring it into the kitchen with him, but he's sure Matty will figure that out once he's left.

"Yeah, that sounds good, I'll probably be there around three if that's alright. I just need to walk Allen and run a few errands first."

"That's perfect," George grins, daring to step closer to Matty in the hopes of receiving another embrace, but when Matty only smiles at him weakly, George ends up waving awkwardly instead. "I'll see you soon then."

George grabs his keys and exits Matty's flat before things grow any more tense, patting Allen goodbye on his way out when the dog bumps against his legs as if to query about where he's going.

George internally curses himself for being so stiff when he and Matty had been getting along fine earlier as he descends the concrete stairs, but he's still doing his best to figure out how to act around Matty now that he's admitted to himself that he properly fancies him, and Matty seems to be feeling the shift in their friendship as well.

George isn't sure if agreeing to go with Matty to get his tattoo is the best idea he's ever had, but it's too late to back out now, and really, being around Matty is the only thing that helps him forget about the persistent ache in his heart that makes an appearance whenever he's alone, so he's not going to second guess himself like he has the terrible habit of doing.

 _Yes_ \- George likes Matty, and maybe he shouldn't be spending his entire day with him so soon after his fight with Kyle, but George also doesn't really care how bad this would look if Kyle could somehow see him now.

George is almost positive that he and Kyle are close to their end anyway, and even if they aren't, he's not going to cut Matty out of his life because of his feelings for him, he cares too much for him to lose him.

But that has George wondering if he's being selfish all over again, which he can never seem to decide on. He knows he deserves to be happy, John had assured him of that, but is this right for Matty? That's George's real concern, because unless he's mistaken, Matty has at least a small crush on him as well, either that or he's simply this kind to everyone, but George thinks it's the former.

That deduction should have George walking on air, because he wants Matty to be smitten with him, _fuck_ \- he'd do almost anything to be given the chance to treat Matty with as much tenderness as he's shown him, but what if he's being cruel to the dancer by providing him with false hope, if he even wants to be with George that is, he has to keep adding that on in case he's falsifying emotions that don't exist.

George could end up staying with Kyle, even after this whole mess, it's still a possibility, because Kyle is quite skilled in the art of convincing George to forgive him no matter how awful he's been, and George knows they could make up once Kyle returns home. He's determined to stand up for himself more often no matter what happens, but he doesn't have very much faith in his internal strength if Kyle comes back with a genuine apology and starts acting like himself again.

By the time George reaches his door, he has half a mind to bang his head against the dark wood until his mind stops spinning, even if that will only give him a headache to match the dull pounding in his chest, but maybe if he gives himself a concussion he'll be incapable of mulling this over for any longer.

George doesn't though, mostly because his neighbor walks out just then and he's forced to duck inside so he can avoid conversation with the talkative woman. George feels a bit guilty for avoiding her, because she is quite nice overall, he's just not in the mood to pretend to be interested in the antics of her grandson today when he's busy dealing with his own personal crisis.

George forces himself to open up his laptop once he's toed off his shoes, clicking on his documents as he tries to remember what article he has due next. His vision blurs as he stares at the files, and he can tell it's going to be one of those days in which he'll be lucky if he gets a few hundred words typed out before he gives up on the piece entirely.

It's hard to focus on anything besides Kyle or Matty right now, and George can't decide which one he should dedicate his thoughts to. He's so tired of being split in two, and really, the answer to his dilemma should be simple.

George obviously isn't in love with Kyle anymore, and he treats him like shit, so he should leave him and see where this thing with Matty goes, but that involves actually breaking up with Kyle, and George can't quite bring himself to do that just yet.

George does get so far as to pull out his phone, hoping to see a missed call or even a new text from Kyle although the last one had hurt more than anything else, but there's nothing. George thinks that is a sign that Kyle no longer cares how George is feeling, but then he remembers that he never responded to Kyle earlier message either, so the blame for his silence rests partially on his shoulders as well.

George debates on if he should ring him or not for much longer than he cares to admit, but in the end, he opens up his conversation with John instead, typing out an abridged version of his evening with Matty coupled with an _"I'm so fucked John"_ to summarize his life right now.

John gushes over Matty almost as much as George does when he finally messages back, demanding that he meet him soon so he can see who George is so smitten with, although George cringes at the thought of letting John and Matty anywhere near each other. John knows more about George than anyone else, and he's sure his friend would manage to embarrass him somehow which he'd never be able to live down.

George finally puts his phone away when he notices that it's already two in the afternoon and he's done basically nothing, telling John he'll call him later with more details before shutting his phone off entirely so he can attempt to concentrate.

That doesn't work nearly as well as George hopes, and instead of working, he finds himself replaying the entire morning with Matty in his mind, but it lifts his mood at least, so George counts that as being productive.

~~~

George is currently spinning around in the chair he situated himself in earlier while Matty's busy getting his tattoo, his eyes roving over the walls coated with posters and various tattoo designs that are getting blurrier by the second.

Matty's conversing with Jesse at the moment as he cleans his arm, leaving George feeling a bit out of place, and maybe also a slightly jealous due to the large hug Jesse had greeted him with when they'd walked in the door.

George isn't sure when his feelings for Matty had amplified to such an intense level that a small embrace from a friend has him feeling stroppy and left out, but they _have_ , and no matter how ridiculous George is being, he can't help but wish he could hold Matty that closely without needing some pretense for doing so, but maybe with time they'll reach that level of friendship even if nothing romantic ever happens between them.

Matty is a very affectionate person after all, and George is sure he wouldn't mind if he hugged him more often, but George would know that he's got an ulterior motivate in doing so, which is why he refrains from acting on the numerous things he'd like to engage in with the other man, one of which involves holding Matty's hand which is stretched out over the arm rest limply, his fingers flexing every few seconds in a way that manages to draw George's attention every time they come into his line of vision.

At least he's not worrying himself sick about what Kyle's doing at the moment, which George is sure he would be if he was left to his own devices, so that's something, although a part of him is wishing he hadn't come at all if he's going to spend the entire time watching Matty chat with someone who obviously has a much better relationship with him than George does.

"George?" Matty calls his name like this isn't the first time he's uttered it, causing George to drag his feet so he can stop his circular motion, pulling the chair to a halt with a dizzying jerk.

"Sorry - what's up love?" George bites his lip a second too late, because no matter how casual the nickname typically is, George's stomach still jumps whenever he uses it on Matty, and he isn't sure if the sensation is caused by guilt or adoration, although it's probably a mixture of both if he had to guess.

"Jesse wants to know where you get your work done," Matty giggles quietly, "and he'd like to see the peacock, apparently my description isn't good enough for him."

"Oh uh...I don't really have anyone specific I go to anymore, got most of these in uni actually, but um... _here_." George rolls up the sleeve of his white jumper so he can show off some of his ink, letting Jesse examine the pieces closely before he returns his attention to Matty's half finished tattoo.

"Those are quite good actually, they haven't faded much at all," Jesse hums under his breath as he presses the needle back to Matty's skin, causing the other man to wince slightly which has George shifting closer to him instinctually before he can stop himself. "If you're free after this, I can fit you in as well if you've got something in mind. I'm bored as fuck in this shop, my last one got a lot more business, but the boss and I had a falling out so I ended up here."

"I'm sorry about that," George responds lamely, not really sure if he was even supposed to answer or not, "but yeah, I wouldn't mind getting a little something," George adds on when everyone stays silent, his eyes dancing over the numerous designs on the wall, hoping one will stand out to him so he won't have to spend hours pondering the decision.

George never really puts that much thought into his tattoos, he usually just gets things that appeal to him at the time, and in the past he'd often let friends test out new techniques and such on him, but he sort of wants something to remind him of this point in his life, of this moment with Matty which he never wants to forget even if he's torn up inside and he isn't sure what any of this means.

"I'm almost done here, so I can get you as soon as I'm finished with Matty's kinky as fuck tattoo," Jesse grins, earning himself a groan from Matty and a slight gasp from George.

"Shut up Jesse," Matty all but screeches, "it doesn't say bloody _daddy_ or anything, and it's for Allen, so just sod off and stop insulting my completely innocent tattoo."

"Whatever you say Matty, but honestly, you are much too attached to that dog," Jesse chuckles lowly, missing the sullen pout Matty is shooting in his direction since he's busy outlining the _'A'_ again.

"You think my tattoo is lovely, right George?" Matty asks in a whiney tone that has George immediately wanting to agree with whatever Matty says even if a part of him does think that getting a _"dad"_ tattoo for a canine is a bit ridiculous overall if it was anyone besides Matty receiving it.

"Of course mate, Allen is going to love it."

"See Jesse, two against one," Matty smirks, sticking his tongue out at the artist even though he still isn't looking at him.

"Your boyfriend's opinion doesn't count since he's obviously going to side with you," Jesse remarks casually, leaving George choking on nothing as Matty blushes so fiercely that George swears he can feel a slight rush of heat emanating from his red face.

"He's _not_ \- we're just friends," Matty belatedly stutters out while George is too busy trying to get his lungs to function again to respond.

" _Oh_ , sorry mate my bad."

Jesse sounds truly surprised at the fact that they aren't together, which shouldn't please George as much as it does, but he can't deny that his heart swells noticeably because of the assumption, especially when Matty leans in his direction while Jesse brings the needle back down in a way that doesn't prove his statement at all.

George shifts the tiniest bit closer until Matty's head is resting on his shoulder, pretending not to notice the subtle weight even when Matty pushes against him a manner that almost seems grateful.

George lets his eyes wander again as Jesse puts the finishing touches on Matty's tattoo, his gaze alighting on a simple design gracing a sheet posted near the door that seems to resonate inside of him although it's really just a few lines that squiggle upward haphazardly.

"Alright Matty, you're all good," Jessie announces after a few more finishing touches. "You know the drill, keep it clean, put on lotion, don't get come on that spot if you can help it until it heals -"

"Fucking hell Jesse," Matty groans, "I hate you, honestly shut the fuck up before I smack you."

George loses control of himself then and breaks into a peal of laughter that has Matty scowling at him as well, but the sour expression quickly melts away when George pushes against Matty in the form of a silent apology, his shoulders moving up and down with his chuckles which has Matty's body shaking slightly in time with his movements.

"So you getting anything mate?" Jesse asks as he finishes wrapping Matty's arm, his question breaking George out of his hysterical fit for long enough to draw in a proper breath.

"Uh...I like that one there with the three lines," George points to the symbol he'd spotted earlier, moving away from Matty slightly as he speaks although he'd much rather press into him instead. "Maybe on my thumb if you can make it fit."

"Let me see your hands." George spreads his fingers and flexes his knuckles as Jesse examines him. "Oh yeah, I can do that. You got at least thirty quid on you?"

George digs through his wallet briefly before nodding, taking Matty's spot on the long chair when Jesse shoes Matty out of it so he can start getting George ready for his tattoo.

Matty hovers close to George the entire time Jesse's preps his tools and changes out the needles, his comforting presence leaving George feeling relaxed and content just like it always does.

George suddenly realizes how lucky he is to have befriended Matty in that moment despite all of the conflict he unleashes within George due to his attraction toward him, because if it wasn't for him, he'd be at home moping alone, but he's not. He's out getting a new tattoo, he's enjoying himself, and it's all because of Matty.

George isn't able to recall the last time he'd been with Kyle and had such a lovely time, which is sad but true. They're always bickering lately, or not bothering to do anything at all, and even if this is just a small event with someone who is technically nothing more than a friend, George is so fucking glad he'd agreed to join Matty today.

"Why'd you decide on that one?" Matty asks just when Jesse initially touches the needle to George's skin, his voice emitting in a hushed manner as if he's almost afraid to ask.

"It just seems to fit me right now," George explains lamely, not wanting to delve into how the three crooked lines remind him of himself, Kyle, and Matty, or how the way they twist and almost intersect is so similar to their lives and how they are all running parallel right now even with their difference, or how he hopes the two that are touching at the top will soon be him and Matty.

"I like it," Matty smiles down at him fondly, his eyes glittering brightly as he meets George's gaze for longer than is strictly necessary "and I'm really glad you came with me today."

"So am I."


	13. "He Hangs The Bloody Stars For You"

"Matty, you in there?"

Matty jolts out of the hazy state he's gotten lost in, only to realize he's been staring at the dressing room mirror for god knows how long, the wipe he's been using to clean off his face dangling from his hand limply. The glitter gathering on it glints dully under the harsh lights in a way that Matty thinks is symbolic, but he can't quite work out why it fascinates him so much.

"Huh?" Matty mumbles a reply a few seconds later, turning to see Harry almost directly behind him with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Didn't you hear Adam calling for you?" Harry sighs when Matty shakes his head no, his long curls bouncing everywhere with the movement. "We are all going out to grab a drink before we head home, are you coming?"

"I don't know," Matty hedges, quickly pulling a shirt over his bare torso as he speaks, giving up on cleaning away the excess makeup that's still visible at the corners of his eyes, "I'm pretty knackered."

"Oh come on," Harry whines, obviously not willing to take no for an answer, which means Adam most likely put him up to this since it's hard to deny Harry anything. "This is one of the few nights we close up decently earlier, and you look like you could use a shot or two."

"I'm just not really in the mood," Matty apologizes, because as much as he wants to spend time with his friends, he knows he'll only bring them down with the state he's in.

Matty's not even sure why he's so stroppy, because nothing is wrong, not _really_. He just woke up feeling a bit sorry for himself for no particular reason, and after spending half of the day going through his bills trying to decide what he could pay and what could wait another week coupled with no contact from George, he's not exactly in the right state of mind to be social now that he no longer has to.

Matty hadn't truly realized what a tight spot he's in money wise, and although he is making it work at the moment, he only has until the end of the year before his rent is raised. October is almost over, which means that in two months he's going to have to find a way to pull in more cash or move out of his flat.

Matty doesn't like to worry about such things, they usually have a habit of working themselves out in the end after all, but he'd allowed it to overwhelm him earlier. It hadn't helped when Louis had called him asking if he would be coming home soon for the holidays, which had reminded Matty that he doesn't have any extra funds to buy Louis a proper Christmas present, or anyone else really, and that had left Matty frustrated and on the verge of tears as he tried to calculate if he should get a second job or just beg for Jamie to let him pick up more hours at the club.

He'd still come to work though, he can't miss out on that since he needs the money so desperately, and the evening had passed quickly since Jamie had scheduled some maintenance work that had shut the club down at ten instead of two in the morning as usual, which is fortunate for Matty since he wasn't sure how much longer he could fake a smile while sitting on a stranger's lap.

"Is everything okay?" Harry continues to press as Matty gathers his things, putting on that unfairly adorable expression he can pull out on a whim that makes anyone with a heart feel guilty for keeping things from him.

Matty somehow manages to ignore him for the moment as he makes his way into the main room where apparently everyone is waiting for them, the unexpected gathering drawing Matty up short, causing Harry to collide into him ungracefully as he tries to backpedal before the others spot him.

It's too late though, because Adam is already making his way to his side, and with Harry pressed against his spine, Matty has no clear route of escape from his well meaning companions.

"There you are Matty, you ready to go?" Adam asks, slinging his arm over Matty's shoulders as if he can sense Matty's urge to flee and he's adamant on preventing that from happening.

"Maybe next time mate," Matty tries to shrug him off to no avail, a groan leaving his lips when Adam steers him out of the hallway he's been hovering in with his firm grip. "Not really feeling up for a proper outing."

"We don't have to go anywhere," Nick exclaims from his seat on the bar, his presence startling Matty a bit since he hadn't even been scheduled to work today, but really, Matty shouldn't be all that surprised since wherever Harry is Nick is sure to be close by. "Troye can serve us here, can't you mate?"

"I don't know." Troye freezes with two glasses in his hands, the young bartender's eyes darting around nervously as everyone makes affirmative noises. "Jamie told me to shut down for the night, and I don't think he'd like us staying here after closing time."

"Oh don't be such a spoil sport," Nick slurs, draining the last of whatever drink he's got in front of him quickly, "Jamie is busy in the back anyway, he won't care, and if he does, we'll say we made you do it."

"Will you stay?" Adam whispers in Matty's ear while everyone else begins converging around Troye, begging for him to keep serving them so they won't have to bother with walking to the closest bar which is actually only a few blocks away.

"I guess," Matty gives in halfheartedly when he realizes fighting his friends is going to be more effort than it's worth.

Matty briefly checks his phone, seeing no new texts from George, which means he really has nothing better to do besides cuddle with Allen and try to figure out how to produce more money from thin air, and he's sure he can slip away once everyone gets a few drinks in their system if his mood plummets any further.

Adam squeezes Matty closer to him once he receives the answer he wants before all but dragging him to a barstool, a soft smile gracing his lips when Matty orders a vodka and cranberry with only a minor eye roll, because as much as Matty wants to be left to his own devices, he's grateful to have friends that care for him so much that they know when he really shouldn't be left alone.

~~~

Matty can't remember how many drinks he's consumed by this point, but he knows he feels fuzzy and warm, and also frustrated and vaguely hurt as the hours tick by and George still hasn't texted him.

And it's not like George is supposed to get in touch with him, they hadn't planned anything after all, but Matty misses him already, even though they'd spent almost all of yesterday with each other. They'd even grabbed dinner after they had gotten their tattoos, so really, Matty shouldn't be upset at all, but that doesn't change the fact that he is.

Apparently his emotions are obvious to everyone around him as well, or at least to Adam and Harry. Adam hasn't said anything specific, but he's been hovering near Matty all night, keeping closer to him than he usually would as if he senses an impending breakdown just around the corner, but he wisely keeps silent much to Matty's relief.

Harry isn't quite so tactful, and when he manages to unwind himself from Nick long enough to trade words with Matty, he constantly asks him if he is alright. After the thousandth repetition of that same question, at least that's what it seems like to Matty, he breaks under the weight of everything that is pressing on his mind, and the alcohol probably helps loosen his tongue as well.

"It's just... _George_ ," Matty confesses in a rush, his voice automatically putting an unnecessary emphasis on his name without any conscious thought.

Matty's cheeks heat up at his own admission since he hadn't exactly planned on revealing his internal conflict so soon, but speaking of George is easier than airing his financial situation, although Matty instantly regrets his decision the moment the words leave his mouth.

And if Matty's being completely honest with himself, George is the true root of his distress. As troubling as his monetary woes are, it's the added pressure of his feelings for George that are keeping him up at night and driving him mad. Matty's been trying to pretend that he's more worried about keeping his home than he is about losing George, but he's never been good at lying, not even to himself.

The entire room seems to go silent the second that Matty speaks, all eyes turning toward him as they wait for him to elaborate.

Matty isn't sure why everyone is so interested in his nonexistent love life, but it's glaringly apparent that they are. Matty's only consolation is that Olly is off today, because no matter how much he adores the other dancer, his constant prying about George has gotten almost unbearable after Matty had stupidly introduced the two of them when George had stopped by one day to bring Matty a pack of cigarettes on his break.

"Did something happen?" Adam asks calmly, his palm rubbing against Matty's spine soothingly when Matty slumps down on top of the bar, burying his face in his arms as if it'll help him avoid this conversation that he never intended to have.

"Yes...well _no_ , not really, it's just - I am so fucked," Matty grumbles quietly, sitting up again briefly but only so he can take a long sip of his drink before he hides his face away again.

"It can't be that bad, can it?" Harry asks gently, his hand coming up to pet through Matty curls as he continues to burrow into the crook of his arm in the hopes of avoiding everyone for just a little bit longer. "You seemed to be getting along well the last time he stopped by."

"We are, we're fine," Matty protests, because they are, _sort of_ , if you ignore the fact that Matty's so smitten with George it's reached the point of being ridiculous. "It's just...I think I'm falling in love with him," Matty spits out before he can second guess himself, knowing that his friends will catch onto his affections for George sooner or later, and he has to admit that he feels a bit better once he's said it aloud.

Matty peeks his head up when everyone remains quiet, only to be met by Harry's broad smile and Adam's knowing look as soon as he does. Matty motions to Troye who's also grinning in his direction to bring him another drink, knocking the small glass back all in one gulp before anyone else can question him further.

"I don't really see how this is news," Nick finally speaks up, his tone fuzzy and slow thanks to the large amount of wine he's consumed. "I mean, you look at the bloke like he hangs the bloody stars for you, of course you're in love with him."

"Hush Grimmy," Harry quiets his boyfriend down quickly, his torso pushing forward as he invades even more of Matty's space, apparently taking over for Olly since he isn't there to nag Matty about George like he usually would. "So when did you know, what changed?" Harry asks, his expression literally radiating with joy as he waits for Matty's answer like he's vicariously living through him.

"I don't know, nothing did really," Matty mumbles, "we just...I'm not sure how much I should be telling you since it's George's business and not mine, but he and his boyfriend had a bit of a spat, and he ended up staying at my place for the night. Nothing happened of course, we slept in separate beds, but it's - he - he's so _perfect_. He even made me breakfast in the morning, then went to get my tattoo with me. It was - I guess it was seeing him in pain that really made me realize it, because it hurt you know, like properly ached, and I wanted nothing more than to dry his tears and tell him that he is worth so much more than he thinks he is, that I could treat him better. I think that's when I really knew I was falling hard for him - _fuck_..." Matty takes a moment to wipe his eyes quickly, hating himself for getting emotional over this again but he's unable to stop his body's reaction when he remembers how upset George had been. "I don't know if I can stand being only friends with him for much longer, because he means so much to me, but I'm terrified of pushing him into something he doesn't want. He's still taken, at least, I think he is, but that isn't stopping me from trying to show him how much I care about him every second we're together."

Matty neglects to mention how no one has been as kind to him as George is possibly ever, and how George's caring actions had reminded him of his nan who was the only one to ever cook proper meals for him, because even in his head, that sounded a bit odd, and he knows he'll really start crying if he starts talking about her. _Still_ \- it had meant something to Matty, maybe everything, even if it was just eggs, but he doesn't know how to explain that without sounding like a soppy mess.

"Oh love," Harry coos as he snuggles into Matty's side. Matty leans into Harry's touch gratefully, a grin splitting his lips when Nick makes a remark about how Matty's a true homewrecker since he's stealing his boyfriend now as well. The expression evaporates as soon as it forms when Nick's words really sink in, even though Matty knows he is only teasing him.

Because _really_ , that's what terrifies Matty about this whole situation with George. He knows George has some sort of feelings for him, at least he hopes he does, but he also still loves his boyfriend, that's obvious since he hasn't left him yet.

Matty is afraid of pushing George too far, but at the same time, this momentary separation he and Kyle are going through might be Matty's only chance to make a move. He doesn't know what option he should take, so he swallows his pride and decides to ask his closest mates for their advice.

"His boyfriend is cheating on him," Matty blurts out suddenly before he can stop himself, "well, he thinks he is, and he has done this before, and just...I'm torn up about it. I hate that George is letting him do this, that he's stayed with him for so long even after he's been betrayed by him. He doesn't deserve that, and it hurts me, _fuck_ \- I bloody broke down crying when he told me, and I know it is his life, and his decision, but I want him to be happy, and I hate the fact that he isn't. Does it make me a bad person if I can't stop thinking that he'd be much better off with me?"

Matty instantly regrets his query when Harry whimpers softly and recoils into Nick's lap, only now belatedly remembering that Harry was cheated on as well at one point in his life by his old boyfriend Ed. He had broken up with him as soon as he discovered the truth, and he found Nick soon after who is so much better for him than Ed ever was, but Matty still feels like a twat for reminding Harry of that time.

Matty should have thought before he spoke, he's aware that Harry gets emotional when he drinks, but as he watches Nick whisper soothingly into his ear, he realizes that Harry will be fine, that Nick will always take care of him, which is all Matty wants for George, and _yes_ \- he hopes he can be the Nick in this situation, but anyone besides Kyle will be a definite improvement.

"Don't mention anything about this if George happens to stop by again," Matty adds on hurriedly. "I shouldn't be blabbing about his personal life without his permission. I'm sorry," Matty directs his statement toward Harry although he's not sure he's listening to him anymore, "I'm just a mess right now, and I want to hold him and kiss him and tell him everything will be okay, but I can't, and it's killing me."

"We won't mate," Adam promises, fixing everyone else with a stern eye as he does so, although Harry and Nick are the only ones really paying attention, everyone else seems to be more interested in an arm wrestling match that's broken out between Emre and Mikey at the moment, "but you're right when you say it's George's business, and as hard as this is to hear, I think you have to let him figure out what he wants on his own. From what I've seen, he does fancy you, but if you press him too hard, he might run back to his boyfriend since he's familiar. Change is scary, and no matter how much he likes you, he's probably struggling with accepting that right now, so you've got to know when to step back and let him make a decision no matter how difficult it is to watch him suffer if it's the wrong one."

"I know..." Matty grumbles, waving at Troye until he catches his eye again. "I need a double this time."

"You are going to pay your tab soon right?" Troye asks warily as he slides Matty another drink. "That goes for all of you, especially Nick, your fancy wine isn't cheap you know?"

"Oh sod off newbie, I'm good for it," Nick snorts drunkenly, dragging his mouth out of Harry's neck which is apparently how he's chosen to cheer Harry up after Matty had inadvertently reminded him of Ed. "This place would go under if it wasn't for me and my excellent taste in alcoholic beverages."

"Shut up love," Harry giggles, grabbing Nick's hands when he gestures so dramatically that he almost knocks over both of their glasses. "I think that's enough for you tonight."

"No...I'm good, _perfect_ actually," Nick protests, draining the rest of his wine rapidly as if Harry's going to take it away from him at any second. "Drinking helps me think, and speaking of that, I've got a great idea," Nick announces as he reaches out clumsily for Matty, trying to get him to look in his direction even though Matty already is. "You should invite George here, for Halloween you know. It's always fun, and he can go out with us after, like properly, and it'll be great and he'll fall in love with you too."

"Stellar logic there Nick," Harry rolls his eyes fondly, "although I don't think any of us are really following your train of thought."

"It's romantic - I think, like costumes, and kissing, and fun," Nick tries to explain himself, his lips turning downward into a frown when Adam scoffs quietly. "I'm serious though, you really should ask him. We always have such a good time, and it'll get him out of the house and away from his boyfriend at least."

"Maybe I will," Matty hums, not bothering to mention that Kyle is already out of town, instead choosing to sip on his drink lazily as Nick beams like Matty has just validated his entire existence. "It would be nice to have him here, and the worst he could do is say no."

"Do it if you want to," Adam agrees, "but be careful mate. I don't want you getting your hopes up for someone that is inevitably going to hurt you in the end."

"Even if he does, it'll be worth it," Matty whispers, and he means it too. He's in too deep to pretend he doesn't care for George as much as he does, and no amount of advice from Gemma or Adam will change his mind.

~~~

Matty eventually breaks away from his friends when his head starts spinning and he's spilled more about George than he ever intended to, but talking had helped to relieve some of the constant pressure on his chest, and after mulling over it in his mind for a bit longer, Matty has decided he's going to see if George would like to come by the club for their Halloween show.

Matty knows that George isn't the biggest fan of Menswear in general, and he gets uncomfortable around some of the other dancers, but really, if Matty is ever going to have a chance with George, he'll have to accept that stripping is a part of his life, so Matty has to at least try to ease George into it while he still has the chance.

Matty meant to just text George tomorrow at a more decent hour after he'd gotten some sleep to make sure he doesn't regret his actions once his buzz has worn off, but for some reason, Matty finds himself stopping by George's door instead of heading up to his own flat.

Matty knocks before he's even aware that he's chosen to see if George is up, his eyes widening in shock when the rapping sound rings out loudly even to his own ears, causing him to flinch away from the wooden obstruction.

One half of his brain is praying that George hadn't heard him while the other side of him is desperate to see him, even if it's only for a moment, leaving Matty trapped in place as the conflicting parts of himself wage a brief battle inside of his head.

Matty's just considering running toward the stairs which are only a few feet away before he makes an even bigger fool of himself, the logical portion of his mind winning out at last, but before he can take a step, the door creaks open, revealing a sleep tousled George who still looks extraordinarily pleased to see Matty even though it's just past one in the morning.

"Matty?" George asks groggily, one of his hands rubbing at his eye as if to make sure he's not dreaming. "Are you alright?" George questions immediately after, some of the tiredness draining from his expression as he looks Matty over intensely.

"No - yeah, I'm good, _very_ good," Matty grins cheerfully. The mere sight of George has him feeling giddy and a bit dizzy, forcing him to struggle to remember his original purpose to this impromptu visit. "I _uh_ \- I wanted to ask you something, but I didn't realize the time, I shouldn't have woken you. Sorry, I'm a bit pissed." Matty giggles then, his hands gesturing wildly as he tries and fails to reach his point. "Anyway, the lads and I were talking, and I just thought I'd ask if you'd like to come to our Halloween show. It's Friday, and we always dress up and act a bit silly. We all go out for drinks after too, it's a good time, and uh - I'd really like for you to be there," Matty heaves out all in a rush, the sudden admission spilling out of him so quickly it has Matty exhausted and tongue tied by the end of it.

"Yeah?" George smiles, not seeming to be frightened off by Matty's random appearance or his unexpected proposition. "I think I could probably make it as long as I finish this article before then."

"Really?" Matty gasps, his heart swelling in his chest at George's easy agreement since he was so certain he'd try and get out of it. "I - thank you, I'll text you more details later when I can think straight. Sorry again about waking you, I should probably be going now yeah?" Matty chuckles quietly, his cheeks flushing red when George simply smiles down at him fondly.

"Wait," George speaks up as Matty attempts to spin around gracefully, only to end up leaning halfway against the doorframe when the world tilts in a sickening fashion, "let me walk you up, don't want you tripping down the stairs and hurting yourself."

"Oh - you don't, I mean...I'll be fine," Matty stutters out, his eyes widening as George tugs on a jacket that was lying across the back of his sofa before stuffing his feet into his trainers.

"Better safe than sorry," George shrugs, his arm immediately wrapping around Matty's shoulders as he sways unsteadily, and although Matty's more overcome by George's company than the alcohol, he's not going to point that out in fear of losing George's touch. "I don't know if I've ever seen you properly drunk before," George remarks as they make their way up to Matty's flat, his tone light and not at all judgmental, although Matty feels like a bit of a fool at the moment.

"Yeah...the others were determined to go drinking tonight, and I might have had a bit more than I meant to." Matty blushes hotly when George pulls him closer as he trips over a step, inciting Matty to cling to his jean jacket tightly so he doesn't plummet face first onto the unforgiving pavement.

"You know I could have picked you up if you needed a ride, don't want you walking home in this state," George mumbles so quietly that Matty barely hears him, but even when he works out what he's said, he can't form an answer around the lump that's clogging up his throat thanks to George's seemingly never ending kindness.

"Yeah, well if you come with me Friday, I can repay the favor if you get a bit plastered," Matty tries to joke, but something about George's sweet nature and his strong hold, not to mention all the drinks he's consumed makes his tone emit vaguely choked off and desperate instead.

"I will love, just remind me tomorrow yeah, but for now, I think you need some sleep," George suggests, helping Matty with his keys when he fumbles with them clumsily, opening the door on his first try with a stupidly attractive smug look on his face.

"Okay," Matty sighs, his hand finding the light switch after a few failed attempts, "you'll really come?"

"I swear I will," George promises, his eyes going dark and serious when Matty nods once as if to confirm it for himself. He's still afraid George will back out later on, even though he shows no apparent signs of doing any such thing, but Matty decides to place his faith in him since he hasn't given him a reason to doubt his word yet.

Matty isn't even sure why this silly outing is so important to him, it's not like he's foolish enough to believe Nick's predictions of how the night will end. Really, Matty just wants to spend as much time with George as he can before Kyle returns, even if being around him so often is only making him fall for him that much faster.

"Thank you, for this, I'm good now, I'll be fine," Matty mumbles as he tries to kick off his shoes when George continues to linger near him. He somehow ends up falling on his arse in the middle of the hallway when he gets tangled up on himself, which draws Allen's attention of course, leaving Matty to deal with a bundle of fur and a sore tailbone as George laughs quietly above him.

"You sure you'll be alright, I can stay again if you want?" George offers, his proposition startling Matty so much he gasps aloud, a grin tugging at his features before he can stop himself, but then he remembers Adam's words, and how he can't push George too hard or else he might ruin everything. Knowing his drunken self, he'll try to do something stupid like cuddle up to George if he lets him spend the night, which could scare him away just when Matty can't bear to lose him.

"No, that's lovely of you to offer, but I'm just going to pass out. If you want some company tomorrow morning though, I'd gladly pop down for another of your home cooked meals," Matty forces himself to say, his insides clenching painfully at his refusal, but when he sees a look of relief passing over George's face, he knows he's done the right thing.

"For you, I'll pull out all the stops. I make a supposedly wonderful omelet," George beams, his smile only widening when he leans down to grab Allen gently so Matty has a chance to untie his shoes without being slobbered on, "but if you need anything during the night, if you feel sick, or whatever, you can call me," George stutters out quickly, his fingers gently skating across Matty's knuckles in a brief show of affection before he stands quickly, extending his hand so he can help Matty upright as well when Matty makes no effort to do it himself.

"I will, thank you," Matty whispers as George backs away slowly, letting himself out of Matty's flat with a small wave that Matty returns wordlessly since his head is spinning too rapidly to allow him to do anything else.

As soon as George closes the door behind him, Matty slumps to the ground with a tired groan, his hands brushing through Allen's fur as he nudges at Matty in a concerned manner that has Matty giggling quietly despite the onslaught of guilt and desire that's assaulting him.

"I'm fucked Allen, really truly _fucked_."

Allen huffs softly in what Matty pretends is encouragement, the small sound giving him the motivation he needs to strip down to nothing and crawl into bed, and even if he wishes George was there with him, he's proud of himself for resisting the temptation that George's offer presented him with for another night, although he's not sure how much longer he'll be able to tamper down his feelings before he does something truly idiotic.


	14. "All's Fair In Love And War"

George tugs on the edges of his jumper restlessly as he hovers outside of Menswear, lighting a cigarette in an effort to delay his entrance into the establishment even though he's already had one on the trip here and he's not really craving another quite yet.

George isn't sure why, but he's a bit apprehensive about tonight, which makes no sense whatsoever, but that doesn't stop his stomach from jumping or the shaking of his fingers as he tries to convince himself to just walk inside.

George attempts to calm down by telling himself that this is just another night. It's not like it is his first time in Menswear after all, and although he has avoided the main room on his last few visits, he's got no excuse for his unexpected bout of nerves.

 _Still_ \- something feels different about this evening, but George can't quite place his finger on why that is. It's Halloween yes, but that's never meant anything to George before. He's not even dressed up, instead he's wearing black jeans and a red sweater that he thinks looks decent on him since he didn't have a costume readily available.

He'd considered wearing something of Kyle's, orange is his favorite color, and that would have been a bit more festive, but George doesn't really want any reminders of his boyfriend pressing against his skin while he's with Matty.

Things are still confusing between them, and George hasn't really tried to fix that recently. They've talked a bit more, but their conversations have been relatively short lived since Kyle's so busy with his case.

Kyle's been apologetic and borderline lovely when they have spoken, but George isn't quite ready to forgive him for the hurtful things he said in their last spat, not to mention he's still certain he's cheating on him even if Kyle continues to adamantly deny the accusation.

George has been keeping himself occupied with other things, mostly work and Matty if he's being honest. He knows that's not that best coping method to use, especially since the wounds Kyle has inflicted on him are still there festering underneath his uncaring veneer, but confrontation isn't George's forte, avoidance is much more his style.

Matty's been an excellent distraction, in fact, George has seen him almost every day since Kyle left. He's taken to sharing breakfast with George, claiming he loves his cooking so much he can't go back to his own paltry attempts, and George finds himself making double portions even when Matty hasn't specifically said he's going to be joining him.

Matty's opened up a bit more to George as well, he seems to be especially talkative in the mornings, or maybe he's just getting more comfortable with George, but whatever the case is, George has learned that Matty has a younger brother who he adores, and that he sends him money as often as he can as well as his mother, which only makes the other man appear even more perfect in George's eyes, but he'd kept that information to himself.

Another thing that George has discovered is that Matty's not exactly well off financially thanks to certain tidbits he's shared and the small clues George has picked up on like his empty pantries and the fact that he's working more hours than ever, and although it shouldn't bother him, George finds himself fretting over Matty's predicament more often than he does his own relationship issues.

George had to resist the urge to offer Matty money when he'd put the pieces together. He has a feeling his gesture wouldn't be appreciated, but _still_ \- he'd give Matty the world if he could, and he can't help but worry about him even when it appears that he's handling things on his own.

But just for tonight, George isn't going to concern himself with the heavy things in his life, including Matty's struggles, or Kyle, or his intense attraction to the dancer who's become so important to him in such a short amount of time.

George wants to have fun, to enjoy spending his evening with the one person who can make him smile with nothing more than his presence, so after taking one last drag from his cigarette, George heads inside the club which isn't even open yet, but Matty must have told the bouncer to expect him since the door swings outward the moment he approaches it.

"They're in the back," the nameless man nods toward the dressing rooms, ignoring George's mumbled thanks entirely as he turns back to the window stiffly.

George stuffs his hands in his pockets as he crosses the empty floor, his gaze roving over the interior of the club which looks much different without the flashing lights and numerous patrons filling the booths.

George's mind flashes back to the first night he properly talked to Matty, to how pretty he'd looked under the pink glow and how much he'd come to mean to George since then, leaving George slightly dizzy when he realizes that not too long ago Matty had been nothing but a gorgeous stranger and now he very well might be falling for him.

George is snapped out of his thoughts by the arrival of someone who George thinks is Nick appearing from the back room in a policeman outfit that fits so tightly George is a bit taken aback, not that he should be by this point.

Nick's followed by another boy who is dressed as a robber, although he's really just got striped pants on coupled with a toy gun strapped to his waist and a bandana hanging around his neck, his bare chest showing off a set of borderline ridiculous tattoos including a butterfly gracing his stomach which has George giggling under his breath as he tries to imagine what had inspired him to get such an odd piece.

"Look Harry - George is here," Nick exclaims, at least, George hopes that is him. He keeps getting Matty's coworkers confused since he hasn't spent all that much time with them. The only ones he's truly sure of their names are Olly and Adam since he's spoken with them the most.

"Hello," George waves awkwardly, his hand hanging limply in the air when Harry beams up at him brightly like they've been friends for ages.

"Matty's in there," Harry points behind him vaguely before rapidly turning back around to face George. "He's going to be so happy to see you, he was really hoping you'd come."

"Yeah well I did say I'd be here," George chuckles lowly. He's not sure why his presence is cause for such celebration since he had assured Matty he'd come tonight, but maybe Harry's always this excitable.

"That's good, honestly we're all so pleased to see you. You're coming out with us after as well right?" Nick asks, sounding almost as thrilled as Harry although he's slightly more subtle about it.

"Think so yeah," George nods, his eyes fixating on Harry who's still staring at him, his mouth tugging upward into a grin as he hides himself behind Nick, his hands resting on his waist in a familiar way that has George's stomach twisting up for reasons he can't explain, but it's probably got something to do with Matty if he had to guess.

"That's great, we can chat more then," Nick exclaims cheerfully, "but we're just going to pop off this way for a moment, and uh - _yeah_ , Matty's in there like Harry said. It was nice seeing you again George."

Harry laughs quietly as a punctuation to Nick's statement, and although George could be wrong, he has a feeling the two of them are sneaking off to make use of the private rooms before the doors open. His guess is solidified when Harry all but wraps himself around Nick as he begins heading in that exact direction, causing George's stomach to twist angrily with something that might be envy at how into each other they both seem to be.

George shoves away the snarky voice in the back of his head that's telling him that he and Kyle will never be able to emulate that sort of affection as he continues toward his original destination, the sound of his footsteps as well as his momentary moment of longing for something that has most likely died long ago becoming drowned out in the chatter coming from the dressing room which grows steadily louder the closer he gets to it.

The scene George walks into can only be described as friendly chaos. There are people everywhere, some that George has never even seen before, and everyone's dolled up and scurrying around, somehow avoiding colliding with the other occupants of the room in the process.

Makeup and elaborate costumes are spread out across every available surface, filling the atmosphere with sparkles and so many colors that George can't comprehend all of them before his eyes are drawn to Matty almost as if he's the focal point of the room, or maybe he only appears that way to George.

The sight of Matty completely eradicates all lingering traces of Kyle from George's mind, allowing him to smile freely as he observes Matty while trying not to stare too blatantly.

Matty's sitting on the counter instead of in one of the nearby chairs, probably because most of them are filled with clothing. His slender body bends over gracefully as he applies some green eyeshadow to Olly's lids who seems to be dressed as a peacock, his sides trembling with laughter due to something that Olly has said which George didn't catch over the constant noise in the room.

It takes Matty only a few seconds to notice George hovering in the doorway, even as occupied as he is. Matty's face immediately splits into a genuine smile when he spots him which has George feeling warm all over almost as if he's standing in direct sunlight.

Matty rushes to his side before George can begin moving, carefully avoiding the numerous obstacles in the room as he goes. When he reaches him, he wraps his arms around George's waist tightly, craning his neck upward as he fits himself against George's body like their limbs are meant to be slotted together in this fashion.

"Hey," George greets Matty fondly, allowing himself to return his embrace although it's a bit difficult given the pair of dainty wings he's got strapped to his back.

"Seriously George...you're not wearing a costume?" Matty groans instead of returning George's greeting, but the upturn of his lips doesn't falter at all as he drags George back to his previous position.

"Sorry, didn't have one on me," George shrugs, his own expression radiating happiness as Matty huffs irritably, which is somehow ridiculously endearing to George, but _really_ , everything Matty does seems that way to him by this point.

George zones out slightly when Matty returns his attention to Olly for a moment, his gaze dragging over his slender frame which is fitted with a pair of white shorts and nothing else if he doesn't count the wings and the halo resting about his tousled curls.

The angel outfit Matty's wearing is verging on indecent, which is the point of course, but George finds it oddly fitting given the position Matty's taken in his life recently.

"Well we have loads here." Matty starts digging through a random pile of mismatched clothing that all look much too skimpy for George to ever consider putting on. "Look - you can match with me," Matty cries gleefully, emerging with a red tank top that he's sure he would tear in two if he tried to fit it over his shoulders and a headband bearing horns proclaiming it as a devil costume which George wouldn't have been able to figure out otherwise.

"You're mental if you think I'm wearing that," George scoffs incredulously, doing his best to ignore the pout Matty plasters on as he continues to hold up the outfit like that will make George change his mind. "I'm _serious_ , I'm perfectly fine in this."

"Oh come on George, at least wear the headband," Matty pleads, "it goes with your jumper and everything, and as lovely as your cozy George look is, it's Halloween, you've got to dress up properly."

"Fine," George concedes much more easily than he thought he would, but it's hard to deny Matty anything when he bats his eyelashes like that and pushes out his bottom lip in a way that would make George want to kiss him if he was single, and also if he wasn't, but he can't let himself entertain that dangerous train of thought, "but nothing else."

"You should do his makeup too," Olly adds on once Matty's positioned the horns, which George has only just now noticed are coated in glitter on top of his head. He'd had to bend down so Matty could reach, placing their faces in such close proximity that George could count the individual sparkles dotting his prominent cheekbones.

"Could I?" Matty asks softly, his eyes going wide and bright as George groans under his breath.

Really though, it's not that big a deal, it is Halloween after all, so it's not like he's going to be the only one with a painted face. George finds himself nodding slowly before he can talk himself out of it, which earns him a delighted giggle from Matty, the sound alone cementing his decision although George has never done anything like this before.

As Matty seats George down and begins dusting something under his eye, George recalls when he'd first seen Matty in makeup. He remembers that he'd never considered it something that could look good on a boy before, and how it had made him slightly uncomfortable to realize that he'd liked it on Matty.

Fuck - Matty's job in general had rattled him in the beginning, but now he's here in the dressing room of a strip club being dolled up by a dancer like it's the most natural thing in the world, which it sort of is to him by this point.

Matty has opened up his eyes to so many new things, and not just regarding this, but also the unhealthy nature of his relationship and how much he'd been lying to himself in an effort to save something that might not be worth it in the end.

George would still be miserable if he'd never met Matty, and _yes_ \- things aren't perfect now, but they are getting better, at least George likes to think that they are.

~~~

George enjoys Menswear's Halloween show more than he ever thought he would, and not because of the half naked boys on stage, even if he does sneak a few more glances at Matty then he probably should.

Maybe it's because he's more relaxed now that he knows most of the strippers, or perhaps it's due to his wavering dedication to Kyle, but George is able to observe them without feeling choked by guilt, and it helps that the atmosphere tonight is light and joyful. They've all got vaguely thematic dances worked out depending on their costumes, and it's apparent to everyone in the audience that they're having a blast with the wordless skits.

Matty even gets a solo dance, which he'd told George about earlier when he'd first heard the news. Matty really seems to love being on stage, George can see it in the way his eyes light up and his voice pitches higher when he talks about it, and even if he does end up taking off most of his clothes, George no longer sees anything wrong with that.

Matty is electric during his number, his limbs moving fluidly as some vaguely familiar pop song plays in the background. George is transfixed by him completely, and not only in a sexual fashion, it's just thrilling to watch Matty doing something he enjoys so much.

George gets a bit of a surprise when Matty crawls off the stage near the end of his performance before making his way to where George is seated, his motions followed by the cheers of the other patrons.

George stiffens up a bit when he realizes everyone is staring at him while he's got red glitter painted across his face and an obnoxious headband on, which is probably why Matty's chosen to do this so he can play up their matching costumes, but when Matty steps into his line of vision, he forgets his surroundings entirely.

Matty respects George's space as he dances in front of him, never once touching him even though George doesn't think he'd mind so much if he did. When Matty's finished, he blows him a quick kiss before climbing back up on the stage, collecting the money that's littered there before darting away once the applause has died down a bit.

George slips off to find Matty as soon as the music transitions and the main lights turn back on, hoping to spend some more time with him before he has to begin working the floor, which is something George is trying not to focus on for too long. He has no problem with what Matty does, not now, but he's not all too keen on watching him grind against another man that George wishes he could be.

Matty drags George out for a cigarette when he makes it back into the dressing room, their shoulders almost touching as they huddle together under the small awning, hiding from the slight drizzle that's started up while they'd been inside.

"You still interested in hitting up a bar later?" Matty queries, breaking the soft blanket of silence with his question, a puff of smoke trailing after his words, obscuring his painted features for a brief moment before it dissipates into the chill air.

"'Course, I've got to make sure you get home safe don't I?" George teases. He fakes a wince when Matty elbows him playfully, the smile that's been plastered on his face all evening growing impossibly wider when Matty chuckles at him fondly.

"You don't have to you know, like...all of this isn't necessary. I'm really glad you're here of course, but I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to be." Matty exhales sharply, his face scrunching up like he's thinking deeply about something, so George stays quiet while he gathers his thoughts. "It's just, I know you don't necessarily enjoy being at the club, which makes sense. It's not for everyone, and as much as I appreciate you going out of your way to spend time with me, I don't want you to do something that makes you uneasy just for me."

"It's not like that Matty, I swear," George answers instantly, attempting to erase the slightly fearful look Matty's attempting to hide by turning his head away with his words. "Maybe it was at first, I hadn't ever been in a strip club before John's bachelor party, but now it's not a problem at all - _honestly_. I've been having a lovely time, and I want to go out with you and your friends, I really do, so don't worry about me, and if it ever becomes a bit too much, I'll let you know."

"You mean that...this doesn't bother you?" Matty gestures down at his skimpy outfit which isn't entirely covered by the coat he threw on as they were leaving the dressing room. "You can be honest with me you know, I won't be upset."

"I don't care that you're a stripper Matty," George promises without hesitation, imbuing his sentence with as much sincerity as he can manage in the hopes that Matty will believe him.

George has rarely seen Matty this lacking in confidence, and it's scaring him somewhat. He prays his reluctance to come around the club hasn't made Matty think less of himself or what he does, but he has a feeling his insecurities run a bit deeper than anything he has done.

"Thank you," Matty exhales heavily, his body pushing against George's side briefly as he speaks, the gentle gesture conveying his gratitude more than his verbal statement ever could.

George wants to pull Matty closer, to wrap his arms around him as he expands on his statement, to tell Matty that he's the most amazing person he's ever met, that nothing he has done could ever cast him in a different light, that he's _perfect_ in his eyes, but before he can do any of that, Matty stands up suddenly, removing all physical contact with George as he flicks his cigarette out into the rain soaked alley.

"Break's over already?" George sighs a bit more despondently than he means to, but he's not ready to lose Matty to the crowd waiting for him inside just yet.

"Yeah, but don't worry, we've only got another hour until my shift ends."

"I'll be waiting when you get off," George reminds him, sensing that Matty might need to hear that again, and when Matty smiles up at George with both his lips and his eyes, he can't help but return the joyful expression.

~~~

George ends up stumbling home after spending the rest of the night and some of the early hours of the morning drinking with Matty and his friends. Most of it is a bit of a blur thanks to the large amount of alcohol he's consumed, but he'd loved every minute of it, he knows that much.

Matty's tangled around him as they navigate their way back to their block of flats, his steps stilted and unsteady as he hangs most of his weight off of George. After his first few drinks, George had transferred Matty's tab to his in an attempt to help him out a bit moneywise, and Matty was too pissed to notice by the end of the night, leaving George extraordinarily pleased with himself at his subtle good deed.

Matty's singing quietly as they walk. George thinks it's the song he performed at the last bar they went to which had a karaoke machine that Matty had instantly gravitated toward, but he'd been drunk enough at that point that he can't name a single track that Matty had chosen, so really, it could be something from the club as well or perhaps it's neither of those options.

George hadn't been aware that Matty could sing so well, or at all, but apparently it's just another skill of his along with dancing and being an overall incredible person, which George's muddled brain counts as a very valid achievement.

George loves the sound of his voice, and he finds himself humming along softly as he keeps Matty upright while they ascend the stairs to his flat. George is a bit shocked that he's the soberest of the two given how much he'd had to drink, but it's probably got something to with their size difference and whatever else affect alcohol tolerance.

George is a bit exhausted and out of breath when they reach Matty's door, inspiring him to lean against the wall as Matty fishes for his keys in the pocket of his coat. George giggles when the halo he still has on bobs with his movements, the sparkling decoration coming dangerously close to falling off when Matty shakes his head in frustration a few times before he succeeds in his search.

"I don't remember if I said this already, but I really like your costume," George mumbles sleepily, his feet following Matty inside once he's got his door opened, only for him to almost fall over when Allen barrels into his knees excitedly, "and I really like you too Allen."

"Thank you," Matty giggles breathily, "and I'm sure if Allen could talk he'd say he likes you too."

"Hey...Matty?" George speaks up when Matty turns his back for a moment so he can close the door behind them, the lack of eye contact allowing him to speak freely as he hovers in the entryway instead of leaving like he thinks Matty expects him too.

George has something he wants to bring up that he really should have done quite some time ago, but right now, with the liquor he drank earlier still warm in his belly and his limbs loose and languid, he's finally found the courage to voice his query aloud.

"Hmm?" Matty hums in the way of a response as he struggles with his jacket, attempting to get the stiff fabric over his arms, which it seems to be resisting stubbornly.

"I know this is a bit out of nowhere, but I was thinking...I mean, John's wedding is on Saturday, and I still have a plus one since Kyle won't be going, so I was wondering if...do you maybe want to go with me?"

"You're serious?" Matty gasps sharply, his battle with his coat momentarily neglected as he spins around rapidly while George tries to decipher if the sound he let out is a pleasant one or not. "You'd really want me there?"

"Yeah, I do," George nods blearily, his inebriated state not lessening the truth of his statement in the slightest. "John's been pestering me about wanting to meet you, and it would be loads more fun if you were there. I can help you rent a suit if you don't have one, and there's an open bar too," George tacks on in the hopes of convincing Matty to join him, only just now realizing how badly he wants the dancer to accompany him now that he's spoken it aloud.

"I'm off Saturday actually, I think I've even got my suit from my nan's funeral around here somewhere." Matty's voice turns slightly wistful at the end, but before George can comment on what he's just said, Matty continues speaking. "God I haven't been to a wedding in ages, I thought the next one I'd attend would be Harry and Nick's, they're bound to make it official soon I'm sure, but I'm getting off topic now," Matty laughs airily. "I really would love to go, and you've met my friends after all, so it's only fair that I met yours."

The saying _"all's fair in love and war"_ pops into George's head suddenly, and he thinks that means something in regards to this situation, but he's far too tired and pissed to properly decipher what, so he focuses on responding to Matty instead.

"Thank you, _fuck_ \- I'm so glad you'll be there with me. Honestly, I've been dreading it a bit, not because of the actual event, just going by myself and all that. I don't really like being alone all that much, I'm sure you've noticed that, it's probably half of the reason I'm still with Kyle..." George trails off when he recognizes his drunken ramblings for what they are.

George shuts his mouth before he can say anything else embarrassing, occupying himself with petting Allen who is still repetitively bumping his head against George's leg in an attempt to gain some affection.

"Well I'll be there to keep you company now. Just warning you though, I get a bit teary at weddings, so if I start crying, don't tease me too much."

"That's adorable," George murmurs against Allen's neck which he has his face half buried in by this point. Matty doesn't seem to hear him since he's returned to wrestling his coat over his slim shoulders, which is probably for the best.

"You planning on hanging around for a bit?" Matty asks when George doesn't move. "You don't have to of course, but if you are, I need to change soon, these shorts aren't very comfortable."

George pulls away from Allen so he can ask another question, which is debatably just as nerve wracking as the first for different reasons. "Do you think I could maybe stay here tonight? I'm a bit too knackered to make it back down to my own flat."

Matty nods even as a surprised expression passes over his face, which makes sense given George's past reluctance regarding this exact event, but George isn't really afraid of being at Matty's anymore, even with how pissed he is and how lovely Matty looks with his smeared makeup and his hair pulled up into a messy bun. George trusts Matty not to insinuate anything, and although a part of him wants to do just that, he knows he won't.

What George feels for Matty has become something more than plain lust or even affection, he's not ready to label it right now, but he's certain of that much.

Even if he was single at the moment, Matty deserve better than a messy, drunken fuck, so George isn't as tempted as he's been on other occasions. What he really wants right now is simply Matty's presence and a bed that doesn't smell of Kyle.

"Of course, Allen will love that. He's been sleeping in the guest room lately, I think he was hoping that you'd be back," Matty chuckles as he toes off his shoes, motioning for George to do the same when he continues to crouch by Allen with a grateful smile stretching across his lips.

George doesn't even make it to the guest room in the end. He and Matty both fall asleep on the sofa after Matty suggests watching a film so they can sober up a bit before bed. George dozes off so quickly that he can't recall what movie Matty popped in, his eyes becoming heavy and weighted the second he snuggles into the blanket Matty procures for him.

George wakes up with a stiff neck and an aching spine, coupled with Matty half sprawled across his lap and Allen curled up against his side, but even with his discomfort, George thinks it was the best night's sleep of his life, and he finds himself wishing that this exact scene could greet him every morning.


	15. "Never Stop Loving Him"

George bites on his lip nervously as he knocks on Matty's door, his suit suddenly feeling constraining and tight on his frame although it actually fits him quite well.

Matty's usually not up at this hour which George now knows after spending so much time with him. It's just past nine in the morning according to George's watch, but Matty had assured him he'd be ready to go by now, even after George had insisted that he didn't have to be.

George had belatedly remembered the next day after he'd invited Matty to the wedding that since he is John's best man, that means he has to be at the wedding much earlier than everyone else to help John get ready and such.

He'd told Matty he didn't have to come with him when he'd recalled that piece of information, not wanting to inconvenience the other man, especially after he'd had work last night, but Matty had continuously assured him that he didn't mind and that he was looking forward to it until George had stopped apologizing.

Still - George is starting to rethink this, and not because he doesn't want Matty to come with him, that's not it at all. He's just ridiculously nervous about this whole thing, and he can't quite place his finger on why.

It might be the fact that he was originally supposed to attend this event with Kyle, and that the act of replacing him with Matty has George thinking of him in Kyle's position in his life entirely, or perhaps it's simply that George is anxious to have Matty meet his friends since he's not sure if he'll like them, or maybe it's none of the above.

George is just afraid; he wants today to go smoothly, he wants Matty to enjoy himself, and he wants to have a good time as well.

George is also trying to avoid thinking of Kyle who had called him earlier on and told him to have fun at the wedding he was supposed to attend.

It attests to how little George cares for him anymore that he couldn't even muster the energy to work up a retort about how he should be there as well, and even if he's still a bit hurt at Kyle's cancellation, it's more of a dull sting now than a full blown ache.

But when Matty finally appears in the doorway, all of George's insecurities drain out of him like water through a sieve. George blatantly stares at Matty as the other man beams up at him, his eyes raking up and down his slim frame which is dressed in a fitted black suit coupled with a white shirt and some sort of tie that appears to be made of black flowers.

Matty looks _stunning_ \- there's no other word for it. George's mouth goes dry and a smile stretches across his lips as he continues to gaze at him, something about Matty putting so much effort into an event that doesn't concern him at all just for George's sake fills him with warmth, and he no longer doubts his decision to invite Matty anymore.

"I'm going to hope your silence is a compliment and not a _'what the hell are you wearing'_ sort of thing," Matty giggles softly when George remains speechless, "I can change the neck piece, I just thought it worked well, but it might be a bit much."

"No - it's perfect," George finally manages to speak, "honestly, you look incredible."

Matty visibly preens under George's praise, his eyes going bright and a smug look crossing over his face as he plays with one of his curls absentmindedly.

"I can say the same about you," Matty responds in a gleeful tone, "you should wear suits more often."

"Don't have to, that's one of the perks of working from home," George laughs as he holds his arm out to Matty in what's supposed to be a teasing gesture, but when Matty laces his hand through the crook of his elbow, George finds himself wishing that his action didn't have to be made in jest. "You ready to go then?"

"Yep," Matty nods excitedly, "Allen's been walked, I've had three cups of coffee, which means you get to deal with my inevitable caffeine crash later on, so have fun with that."

"I'm looking forward to it," George chuckles, and he's not lying. He'll carry Matty home if he has to as long as it means he'll be at the wedding with him.

Whatever today brings, it's worth it to live in this moment with Matty. As sappy as it sounds, right now, George is happy.

It's a surprisingly lovely morning for this time of the year, he's about to see his best friend get married to the man of his dreams, and he's got Matty next to him, so he's ready for anything.

~~~

Matty's captivated by the small chapel that the wedding is taking place in. His eyes go wide when they first approach it, his attention darting between the white flowers that are strewn everywhere, to the stone architecture, to the stain glass windows which are refracting light across the lawn.

George delights in Matty's apparent joy at the scenery, although old buildings don't really hold his interest, but Matty's reaction is wonderful to witness, making George even more pleased than he already was with his decision to bring Matty with him.

John had been adamant about having an outdoor wedding, but Ross had managed to convince him to host it here instead since November in London is rarely pleasant. John had finally agreed after seeing that they had a lovely garden where the reception would be held, weather permitting, and so far it seems that it will.

Matty's uncharacteristically silent as they walk through the interior of the building in their search for John, but George assumes that's simply because he doesn't know anyone here and he's not quite sure how to act just yet.

George is tempted to take Matty's hand in his so he can calm him slightly with his touch, but he's too nervous that his gesture will mean more than that, at least in his mind, not to mention John will most likely somehow manage to pop up just then and he'd never let George live that down.

Luckily for George at least since it distracts him for his current train of thought, he spots one of Ross' friends a few seconds later whose name he knows but can't recall, and after a brief greeting, he points him in John's direction.

George isn't really sure what he expects to find when he makes his way into the room which John is in, but it's not his best friend obviously intoxicated at barely ten in the morning with only his trousers on while one of his groomsmen, George thinks it's Brandon tries to convince him to let go of the bottle he's holding for long enough to get his shirt on.

"John please," Brandon begs, his tone laced with exasperation as John waves him off and takes another swig of whatever he's drinking. "I'm two seconds away from calling Ross if you keep this shit up."

"What's going on?" George asks, his voice diffusing some of the tension in the room when both men turn to look at him.

"Oh thank god you're here," Brandon sighs in relief. "John's worked himself into a state, can you deal with him? I've got to make sure the chef has arrived and he's got the menu and all that, but I didn't want to leave him alone."

"Yeah, we'll be fine," George nods distractedly while Brandon shoots him a grateful smile before making his exit, his brow furrowing as he tries to decipher what's going on in John's head.

"Hey George," John waves, his face falling when George fixes him with a stern look.

"John...what are you doing? This is your wedding day, and you're not going to be able to remember it if you start drinking now."

"I'm just trying to relax, that's all," John defends himself, but the way he slouches into a nearby chair, his body curling in on itself as he does lets George know that John isn't being entirely truthful.

"Come on John, talk to me," George coaxes him, stepping closer to his friend slowly as if he might bolt if he moves any quicker.

"I don't want to, you'll think it's stupid," John groans, but at least he sets the bottle of liquor down so he can rub at his face tiredly.

"Bit too late for that honestly," George smiles to take the sting out of his words, "but seriously John, what's got you so worked up? Whatever it is, I won't make fun of you."

"I...well, Ross and I decided to do that whole not see each other for twenty-four hours before the wedding thing yeah, and it was really hard to sleep without him in bed with me, so I had a lot of time to myself to think, and _fuck_ \- I mean...how many marriages do you know of that have ended happily? The majority of them fail, and I don't want to be one of them, but what if that's our fate as well? Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, I don't know if I can go through with it," John ends on a bit of a wail, a slight sheen of tears obscuring his irises as George kneels down by his side gingerly.

George is shocked that John is suggesting that he call this off. He's heard of pre-wedding jitters of course, but John is the last person he'd assumed to be afflicted with them. He and Ross are perfect for each other, everyone knew they'd end up married eventually, and John has never shown any sign of doubting this before, so none of this makes any sense to him.

But John is obviously distraught, in fact, he looks seconds away from tears, and although George is momentarily at a loss for what to say, he's determined to cheer his friend up somehow before he gets himself into an even worse place.

George has to pause for a moment to think of an appropriate answer, because he actually can't name one intact marriage off the top of his head. His parents had separated when he was fifteen, he knows Matty's folks aren't together either, or John's, he doesn't even think Ross' are, and when he looks at things from that perspective, he can see John's point.

But that doesn't mean that George has stopped believing in love, and John shouldn't either. _Yes_ \- the odds might be against him and Ross, but if anyone can make it, it's them, now George just has to convince his friend of that.

"It doesn't matter how many people end up getting divorced, because they aren't you and Ross. You two were made for each other, you're the loveliest couple I've ever met, and I'd bet everything I own that you two are going to be married until you're both in wheelchairs."

"But how do I know I'll still want to be with him in ten years, or even five? I've always believed that I'll never stop loving him, but statistics show that I will."

"Well that's what makes love so special," George falters for a moment, looking behind him to Matty who's hovering in the doorway still, "it's a risk, and you have no idea how it will end, but if you care for the other person enough, if you truly do love them with all of your heart, you take a leap of faith. That's what you're doing today, you're promising Ross that even though you can't see the future, you love him enough to want to spend it with him."

And although George tries to stop himself from connecting this situation to his own, he can't help but apply his advice to his life at the moment. He's not sure if he's in love with Matty, but he thinks that he could be, yet he's holding himself back because he's afraid of leaving Kyle just for the chance to be with Matty, which is contrary to what he's telling John.

That's something to ponder over later when he's alone though, John needs him right now, and he can work out his feelings for Matty and what he's going to do about his current relationship after he makes sure John isn't about to fuck up his.

"Then why am I so terrified?" John whimpers, his gaze darting toward the bottle on his right which George quickly snatches and moves out of his reach.

"That's normal, everyone gets nervous before their wedding, but think of it this way, if you had to choose between marrying Ross or losing him today, which would you choose?"

"Marry him of course," John answers instantly.

"And if I asked Ross that question, he'd answer the same, so don't worry yourself sick about what if's, just focus on Ross. He doesn't want you upset over this, not today, and not ever. You're going to regret panicking and backing out of this a thousand times more than you will marrying him, I promise."

John looks down briefly, his hands fumbling with his phone which George knows has a picture of him and Ross saved as the background. John stares at it for so long that George is beginning to get worried, but then John smiles fondly and George thinks he's finally managed to get through to him.

"I'm an idiot," John sighs, his legs stretching out as he stands up and reaches for his shirt. "You're right, I just got myself into a bad state, but I love Ross, and he loves me. I want to be his husband, so this is the right thing to do."

"It is," George agrees after exhaling softly in relief now that John seems to have regained his senses. "If I found someone like Ross, I would marry him in an instant, so don't let everyone else's mistakes ruin this for you."

"Just remind me not to google marriage statics again and I should be fine," John chuckles, "and _oh_ \- is this Matty?" John exclaims when he turns around and gets a glimpse of the curly haired man who has yet to speak, but he does nod when he's acknowledged. "I'm so sorry you had to see me like that, I'm not usually this much of a mess."

"It's alright," Matty shrugs easily, "I'm sure I'd be bricking myself too if I were about to get married."

"I honestly didn't think I would be, _god_ this is scary, but anyway, George told me you were coming, and it's so nice to finally meet you, he speaks very highly of you." John ends his greeting by crossing the room and pulling Matty into a hug, and Matty doesn't seem at all uncomfortable with his affectionate actions even though he's only just met John.

"Oh he does, does he?" Matty smirks, leaving George blushing crimson as he tries to busy himself with something that's not looking in his general direction. "Also just to put in my own two cents, from what George has told me about you and Ross, I don't think you'll regret marrying him either," Matty adds on, his statement causing George's cheeks to ache from the smile that stretches across them, because Matty didn't have to say anything, but he's trying to cheer John up as well, someone he doesn't know at all, and that showcases what a wonderful person he truly is.

John graces Matty with a wide grin, his grip around him tightening briefly before he lets go. He almost stumbles as he does, so Matty steadies him with his hand, helping the other man back to his chair while George retrieves his jacket which had been hanging in the corner.

"Now come on, we've got to get you looking so good that Ross will cry when he sees you," George suggests, earning himself a laugh from John that sounds genuinely happy.

"Good luck with that, I think I've only seen him shed a tear twice during our entire relationship."

"That sounds like a challenge I'm up for," Matty grins deviously.

"You should let him do your hair," George suggest, "maybe even makeup if you're up for that, he did mine the other night and I was quite impressed."

"Have at it boys, make me beautiful."

And as George and Matty get John ready for his wedding while sharing stories as well as making sure John drinks enough water that he might be relatively sober by the time the ceremony starts, George is shocked by how easily Matty melds into the picture, but at the same time, he's almost not surprised.

Matty seems like he's made to be a part of George's life, he improves it in every aspect, he gets along with his best friend, he's smiling and joyous even though he's got to be exhausted, and George is a thousand times happier than he would have been if he came alone, or even with Kyle, and that's all thanks to Matty.

And in this moment, George is glad that Kyle canceled on him, because now he gets to experience this day with Matty instead, and _yes_ \- George shouldn't be thinking that way about his boyfriend, but he's honestly not sure if he wants Kyle to hold that title anymore.


	16. "Thank You"

Despite the earlier hiccups, the following hours go smoothly, and John is sufficiently calmed by the time his and Ross' ceremony is due to start.

It all passes in a bit of a blur to George who is standing at the front trying not to visibly slouch although he thinks he looks like a giant next to John's shorter groomsmen.

George is feeling a bit knackered as he waits for the proceedings to begin, but he tries to push his tiredness away, knowing he's still got quite some time to go before he can return home.

And once the music swells and John appears in the entrance to the small chapel with a smile and slightly watery eyes, George grins in response, because John is about to be properly married, and all misgivings aside, it's exhilarating seeing his best friend find love with such an amazing person.

John looks wonderful; his suit is pure white and his hair is curlier than usual thanks to something Matty had done to it which had confounded George and pleased John immensely. John had even agreed to let Matty put a bit of makeup on him, although whatever product he had applied isn't noticeable, it just seems to highlight John's natural features which is a testament to Matty's skill .

John's lips continue to stretch wider as he makes his way to Ross' side who also has an infectiously happy expression on his face. Just viewing them together makes John's earlier doubts seem paltry now, because George can see how much they care for each other, and he knows they'll make it through any ups and downs that are thrown their way.

The ceremony goes off without a hitch, if John starting to cry halfway through doesn't count, which George thinks is more beautiful than anything really, and when his gaze searches the crowd only to end up landing on Matty who is wiping his eyes as well, George's vision also gets a bit blurry.

The vows move onto the kiss which is teary and filled with laughter and hollers from the guests, and sooner than George is expecting, the pastor begins wrapping things up and John and Ross are making their way back down the aisle together hand in hand while the crowd tosses rose petals at them, many of which land in John's hair.

George stays where he is for a bit, letting most of the crowd exit the room before he heads in Matty's direction who is still sitting in the pews. Matty's face is slightly wet, but he's smiling when he turns and looks at George, and although George can't explain why, he finds himself pulling Matty into a tight hug as he approaches him.

It's most likely just an effect of being at a wedding, of witnessing real love in such close proximity that has George holding Matty much more intimately than he usually would, and to his surprise and also relief, he feels no guilt when Matty snuggles into him willingly.

Matty giggles as he leans into George's touch, his slender arms wrapping around George's waist as they embrace in the middle of the half empty church, ignorant to the few people that are still milling around them.

"Thank you for coming with me," George whispers as he pulls away, hoping his sentiment will explain his unwarranted affection, although really, he'd just wanted to hold Matty for a moment since his presence here means more to him than he'll ever be able to explain with words.

"Thank you for not making fun of me for crying," Matty chuckles hoarsely, his breath catching in his throat slightly when George wipes away a few tears he missed with his thumb, the gesture far too gentle for it to be a simple act of kindness among friends, but George knows that Matty is more than that to him now.

"Got a bit choked up myself honestly," George replies, forcing himself to retract his hand even though he wants to keep it where it is pressed against Matty's cheek.

"I'm so glad you invited me honestly, I haven't been to a wedding in ages and I forgot how special they are. It was a really lovely ceremony, John looked so happy"

"He is, and now we get to watch him get pissed and inevitably end up snogging Ross for the next few hours. You feeling up for it?" George asks, worry tinting his tone a light blue shade when Matty yawns into the crook of his arm.

"Of course, I never turn down free booze, and I want to show off my dance moves to a new audience."

"Well come on then, can't keep them waiting," George laughs heartily, his gaze never leaving Matty as they start walking toward the back garden where the chatter of the other guests can already be heard, drowning out Matty's own soft giggle that George strains to hold onto even when it's faded away completely.

~~~

George loses Matty almost instantly when they enter the gardens the reception is being held in. Matty makes a sound akin to a squeal and darts off in the direction of the nearest bundle of flowers that are accented by the white lights and other decorations that have been put up for the party, and although George tries to follow him, he keeps getting stopped by guests who want to share a few words.

George gives up on trying to find Matty when he escapes his line of vision for the third time, deciding to let him enjoy himself for a bit while he finds their table, which he seems to be doing if his joyous expression that George had glimpsed before he disappeared means anything at all.

George is a bit worried that Matty won't be able to spot him in the crowd, but he forces himself to stop searching the nearby bushes out of the corner of his eye, assuring himself that Matty will text him if he gets turned around, and really, he's the tallest person here, so he shouldn't be too hard to pick out.

John and Ross are already at the table chatting with the people nearby and accepting all of the well wishes and congratulations they're receiving with easy smiles on their faces, their hands entwined and their bodies leaning toward each other in a physical manifestation of their adoration that George hopes he one day emulates with someone else.

"Hello George," John calls out loudly, "you got your speech all ready?"

"Yeah," George sighs in fake exasperation. When he'd originally agreed to be John's best man, he hadn't realized how much would go along with it, and he's not the best at speaking in general, especially not in front of a large audience, but he has something worked out that is short and sweet, so he should manage. "Just don't expect a novel or anything."

"Everyone will probably be too drunk by that point to notice," Ross comments. "I heard the kitchen staff already had to break into the second case of wine since the open bar was practically mobbed the second the ceremony ended."

"That's the best part of weddings," George teases, "none of us came for you, we just wanted the complimentary drinks."

"Ah of course," John laughs uproariously, "I should have known you were never really my friend, just using me for liquor this whole time were you?"

"Yeah, sorry mate, but I thought it was about time you knew."

"Oh sod off and sit down," John snorts, "and where is Matty? Don't tell me you scared him off already."

"Nah, he went to go look at the gardens. He loves this place by the way, you should have seen his face when he first saw it."

" _See_ \- I did pick a nice church you twat," Ross cuts in, the banter between the two leaving George chuckling since he's never heard the word twat be uttered with so much affection.

"I know you did, but my choice would have been wonderful too, and it's not even raining," John argues back like it actually matters by this point, but George is used to this by now after being friends with John for so long, so he doesn't attempt to interject.

John and Ross continue to bicker for a bit, but George gets distracted from their conversation when he spies Matty heading over. He stands up and waves although Matty's already seen him, earning himself a nudge from John that George completely ignores in favor of catching Matty's attention.

Matty slips into his reserved seat gracefully, the one that was originally meant for Kyle. He instantly begins introducing himself to those at the table that he hasn't met yet which is everyone besides John, and he does so with an ease that George has never been able to emulate when talking to strangers.

George watches Matty fondly as he chats with Ross and immediately begins winning everyone over just like he'd done to George the first time they'd spoken, his stomach feeling oddly warm and fluttery, which is a sensation he chooses not to push away for once.

There is just something about Matty that draws people in, that makes them feel special, like Matty genuinely cares, or maybe that's just how George views him, but either way, he's thrilled to witness Matty melding with his friends that even Kyle didn't like all that much.

~~~

The reception is as lovely as the wedding itself was. George stumbles through his speech a bit, but he keeps his focus on Matty who smiles encouragingly at him the entire time, and he makes it to the end without embarrassing himself too much. John seems to enjoy it at the very least even if it is slightly boring.

Matty continues fitting in perfectly just like he has done all afternoon. John is beyond delighted with him, which had started earlier on when he'd seen his completed look that had been orchestrated almost entirely by Matty, and his fondness had only grown when Matty began pelting him with questions about the church and it's history. They'd even gone off on a tangent about their favorite flowers in the gardens for a bit that George had eventually zoned out of.

The day is almost over now though, and the attention has finally left George and their table in general since everyone's busy eating and drinking and dancing. George is indulging in the first two options, but he's kept to his seat so far, even when Matty had begged him to dance with him earlier.

And it's not like George doesn't want to dance with Matty, in fact, he'd been severely tempted, but he had resisted the urge, knowing that with the way he's been thinking today, it would probably make him even madder for Matty that he already is, and he needs some space before he does something truly idiotic.

Matty's found another partner now though, one of Ross' cousins he thinks, and he seems to be having a good time. George likes to imagine that he can hear Matty's bubbly laugh from where he is even if Matty is halfway across the room and the music is covering up everything besides the chatter closest to him.

When George has finished his plate of fish, he glances around briefly, and after noticing that John is entirely wrapped up in Ross and Matty's occupied with his new friend, George takes the chance to slip away for a quick smoke.

George isn't even entirely certain if he's allowed to light up here, but he can't be bothered to actually leave the premise, so after making sure he's mostly hidden in the back of the gardens, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes which is still mostly full.

He hasn't been smoking as much as he used to lately, and although George can't credit that to Matty, he thinks spending time with him has been improving his mood and filling his thoughts and spare moments with things others than wasting his hours moping and smoking.

George slouches down as he inhales deeply, resting against one of the ornate planters that look as if they've been here for a hundred years, and maybe they have.

George is starting to see the appeal of this place, it really is gorgeous in an ancient way, and now that he's standing aside and observing things, he can understand Matty's fascination with it.

As if thinking his name had caused him to appear, Matty suddenly emerges among the flowers and foliage, a soft smile on his face and a cigarette resting in between his slender fingers.

George has been enjoying his solitude, but he can't deny that his heart skips a bit when Matty spots him and his face breaks into a proper grin.

"There you are," Matty huffs as he comes to sit beside George, his small frame swinging upward until he's perched on the lip of the planter George is resting against. "I can't find my bloody lighter, and I thought I saw you sneak off."

George chuckles around his cigarette, fishing in his pocket until he finds the item Matty is asking for, clicking the flame alight when Matty sticks his own cigarette in his mouth and pushes it in George's direction instead of taking the lighter from him like George had expected him too.

"You having a nice time?" George asks simply to fill the air with something other than smoke and to stop himself from staring at Matty like he's currently doing.

"Yeah, I really am honestly," Matty answers sincerely. "I know I've said it probably a thousand times, but thank you for bringing me George."

"Thank you for coming, it means a lot to me," George also repeats himself, because he's uttered those words before as well, but he wants Matty to know that he means them.

They smoke in silence for a bit after that, and even when George is finished with his cigarette, he stays and watches Matty through his peripheral vision, noticing how his body sways along to the music that's still audible from where they are even though he's sitting down, the small motions captivating George entirely.

So it's not his fault that he jumps a bit when Matty suddenly stubs out his cigarette which isn't entirely spent and springs to his feet, a sound that's somewhere in between a gasp and a shout leaving his lips as he spins around to face George.

"I love this song," Matty explains when George shoots him a quizzical look, his posture radiating excitement as George tries to pick out the strains of the new track, but he can't place it. "You have to dance with me George, _please_?" Matty all but begs, and George doesn't even try to fight him this time.

Because he wants this, he _really_ does, even if he can't disguise it with the excuse that it's a simple dance among friends, because it's not anymore. George barely even feels guilty when Matty wraps his arms around his neck and steps into his personal space, his skinny frame fitting against his perfectly when he places his hands around his waist.

George loses himself in the act of being with Matty, of how right it feels to have the other man pressed up against him, and he knows now that taking a risk with Matty is what he needs to do if he has any chance of finding true happiness, he's been mostly certain of that ever since he'd given John the same advice a few hours ago.

Matty is everything to him, he wakes up and Matty is the first thing that pops into his head, he looks forward to their shared breakfasts and their texts and the nights spent out with him whether it's at the club or just taking Allen on a walk more than anything else, and Kyle barely factors into George's mind anymore.

George wishes he'd figured this out sooner, he feels like he's lost precious moments with Matty thanks to his indecisive nature, but in a way, he's also glad he took his time and didn't immediately drop Kyle when Matty came into his life.

He's sure now that this is what he wants, that Kyle isn't the one for him, and maybe Matty isn't either, but George hopes he might be, and he no longer harbors that same faith in Kyle.

George will make himself call Kyle tonight, he'll tell him that he's done, that he has been, and he'll attempt to get some answers that he feels that he deserves.

George has put this conversation off long enough, but for now, he's going to dance with Matty and enjoy the rest of their evening, and hopefully that'll give him the strength to face Kyle's twisting words and guilt inducing nature.

When Matty leans his cheek against George's chest, George shudders slightly, a surprising surge of want pulsing through his veins when he feels Matty relax entirely, trusting George to hold him upright as he leans most of his weight into him.

As much as George fancies Matty, he hasn't experienced sensations like this around him often. He's always held himself back, but now something has snapped within him and he knows he's teetering on the edge of a knife, waiting for the slightest rush of air to push him one way or the other.

"I really want to kiss you," George admits quietly, cursing himself for speaking aloud but unable to hold himself back for any longer. He can blame it on the wine he's had, but he thinks it's caused more by the heady atmosphere when it's just him and Matty and his new sense of determination that sets his tongue loose without his consent.

"I really want you to kiss me," Matty whispers, and _fuck_ \- George can feel the heat emitting from his red tinted cheeks given their close proximity, which of course only increases his desire to press their mouths together even more.

"I can't though," George sighs, unwilling to be labeled as a cheater even now that his relationship is in tatters, because that's not him, it never has been, and he doesn't want Matty to think he's possible of betraying him if they do in fact end up together. George hurries to add onto his statement when Matty's face falls, hating the pained look he's receiving and desperately needing to erase it. "Not yet anyway."

"Soon?" Matty asks, pulling himself back from George just enough so he can meet his eyes, his expression smoothing out as he peers up at George shyly.

Matty's irises are dark and glittering, and George thinks he could gaze into them for hours like the sop Matty's turned him into. George nods slowly, every fiber of his being screaming at him to drag Matty closer and kiss him like he's being dying to ever since he met him, but he knows it will be better for the both of them if he waits.

"Soon, I promise. I'm mad about you, I think you know that, and I've been an idiot, which is nothing new, but I need to talk to Kyle, to properly call things off, and I - I was afraid you might not actually want me in the way I want you," George spits out, needing to say this all now before his courage dries up, his blood rushing in his ears with such force that he can barely hear his own confession.

"I've been gone on you for a while as well, _fucking hell_ you've been driving me insane," Matty chuckles weakly, his feet shuffling backward, creating a small amount of space between them as Matty begins twirling his curls between his fingers nervously. "I was too scared to say anything, I didn't want to lose you, and I wasn't sure if you were bothered by my job and all that, but _fuck_ George - you don't know how hard it is trying to be just your friend."

"If it's anything like what I've been going through, I think I have an idea," George laughs, and although the sound is strangled and a bit wheezy, it releases some of the built up tension inside George's chest - not all of it, but enough so that he can breathe again. "Just let me do this right, give me a bit of time, but if you still want me once everything's settled, then..." George trails off because he's not sure how to end his statement.

He still isn't one hundred percent certain what Matty is expecting from him, if it's a fuck, or a boyfriend - which is the option George would prefer, or just George in any way he can have him, but they can sort that out later. George has to get out of his current relationship first before he can contemplate a new one.

"I'll be waiting, no matter how long it takes," Matty promises, and _fuck_ \- that sounds much more serious than someone looking for a shag, which Matty can surely get easily enough anyway.

The way he's worded it makes George feel special, _desired_ , and that's just one of the many reasons that George has fallen so ridiculously hard for Matty, he's realizing more and more of them now that the mental blocks he's put around his attraction for the other man are crumbling into dust.

George can't help but pull Matty into a fierce embrace, trying to convey everything he's feeling with the pressure of his arms around Matty's middle since it's the only touch he's allowed to give him right now.

Matty melts into it instantly, his limbs clinging to George tightly as George rests his forehead against Matty's, letting his lips brush the skin there briefly before he forces himself to stop tempting the both of them even though it feels just as incredible as the first time George had allowed himself to do this.

"Is it alright if we get out of here?" George suggests once they've broken apart, and George swears that it feels like a piece of his heart is now embedded in Matty's skin, but if there is anyone he trusts to keep it safe, it's Matty.

"Yeah, I'm knackered honestly," Matty agrees, his gaze darting around skittishly like he's not quite sure what to do with himself now that they have to go back to pretending to be just friends, even if it's only for a little while longer, and honestly, George feels the same.

"Thank you," George murmurs as they begin making their way back to where everyone else is gathered, "for this, for everything, for understanding, I don't know what I'm trying to say, but just thank you."

"You don't have to thank me George," Matty smiles gently, his fingers dancing lightly across the back of George's hand as if he wants to hold it but he's not sure if he can. "I am thrilled you want me, _believe me_ , I am, but even if you didn't, it wouldn't matter as long as you're happy, that's all I've ever wished for you since the first night we spoke at the club."

And _fuck_ \- George has no response to that, not one he can utter without crying that is, so he simply does what Matty's been hinting at and clasps their hands together, squeezing Matty's palm lightly as his eyes well up and his heart stutters in a manner that's a bit frightening, but the exhilaration of finally confessing his feelings to Matty outweighs his terror regarding what is to come, at least for the moment.


	17. "Goodbye"

George isn't sure how long he's been staring down at his phone, but if he's going to make this call, it has to be now before it gets any later and Kyle heads to bed. This rush of courage won't last for long, and George is determined to take advantage of it before it fades away entirely.

But _fuck_ \- George is scared, and not of the end of his relationship, not anymore, but of confronting Kyle, because George isn't good at this, he never has been. Kyle always manages to distract him, to override him, to make him feel like shit even when he's done nothing wrong.

He can't let that happen this time though, he _won't_. He's going to stand firm in his decision, it's the right thing to do for everyone. He doesn't love Kyle anymore, hasn't for quite some time, so he has to tell him that instead of letting this farce go on for any longer.

And when George remembers how Matty's hand felt wrapped in his larger one, and how Matty had grinned up at him like he was the most important thing in the world before they said goodbye for the evening after returning to their block of flats, George finds the strength to press down on Kyle's name, his fingers only shaking slightly as he brings the device up to his ear slowly.

Kyle picks up during the third ring, which surprises George a bit, but he has been better about answering his phone lately. That's most likely only because of the fight they had before he left, he's always kinder to George after one of their spats for a few weeks, but he always slips back into his old habits eventually.

"Hey love," Kyle answers, sounding slightly sleepy but also pleased, leaving George's stomach clenching nervously as he tries to decide how to start this unpleasant conversation that's been looming on the horizon for ages.

"Hi...um..." George stutters as he tugs at his hair, attempting to ground himself with the slight sting of pain that blossoms across his scalp, "are you busy right now, I mean - do you have time to talk?"

"Course, just got back to the hotel actually, I had dinner at this amazing restaurant tonight, I'm going to have to take you here one day, it was incredible," Kyle gushes, his sincere tone twisting itself into George's chest like a blunt knife, and he knows he has to speak now before he ends up recalling how good he and Kyle were together in the past, because they aren't now, no matter how complacent Kyle is acting at the moment.

"No," George snaps more harshly than he means to, a regretful sigh leaving his lips when Kyle grunts in an affronted manner, "sorry, I just...Kyle, this - _us_ , I don't want to keep doing this, and I probably should have waited until you got home to tell you, but it's easier for me like this, and I just...I can't keep acting like I'm fine when I'm not," George stutters. He's aware that he's not making much sense, but it's a start at least.

"What the hell are you talking about George?" Kyle huffs, his kind nature from earlier evaporating as he realizes that something is amiss. "You're not drunk are you?"

"I'm not, I just have had a lot of time to think while you've been away," George mumbles slowly, doing his best to gather his wits and explain himself in a coherent manner, "and I don't miss you or anything, I'm almost happier when you're not here, and that's not right. I should want you here all the time, but it's sort of the opposite actually, so I guess that I - I don't think I'm in love with you anymore."

George winces at his harsh words, but it's necessary when dealing with Kyle. He hasn't taken any of George's hints in the past, he's not attuned to subtleties, and it's probably better to rip this off like a plaster, to unload it all at once before Kyle takes the opportunity away from him.

" _Fucking hell_ ," Kyle curses hotly. George can hear him shifting around over the sound of his own ragged breathing, but he doesn't say anything else, getting that statement out was taxing enough. "I don't even know what to say to that, did John put you up to this? We were fine earlier, and I just don't understand where this is all coming from."

"Do you really think my best friend convinced me to break up with you on his wedding day?" George scoffs, drawing from the small tendrils of anger that are unfurling in his chest, using them to push back the side of him that has been trained to cower whenever Kyle gets upset. "This isn't a joke Kyle, I have been feeling this way for months, but you're not even around enough to notice that I've been miserably lately."

"I'm sorry," Kyle apologizes, his cadence taking on a sickly sweet edge that does nothing to mollify George's numerous wounds that have been festering inside of him for longer than he's even been aware of. "I know I've been a shit boyfriend, but after this trip, I swear I'll be home more, that we can go out like we used to, and it'll be just like old times."

"Sorry isn't going to fix this Kyle, and neither will empty promises," George groans heavily, his eyes stinging as he rubs the right one with his free hand, "they're just words, and unless you're going to try and mend what's broken here, it's not good enough. I've given you time, I've tried to be understanding, but things have gotten worse, not better, and just - I'm done okay, I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Just like that - that's it?" Kyle sounds like the breath has been knocked out of him, and as much as he's hurt George, it pains him to hear the person he used to love in such distress. "What about my feelings? I still love you, do you want me to say it more or something? I get that I've been busy, but that's only temporary, you know that, and it doesn't mean I care for you any less."

"You've been saying that for ages and nothing ever changes, and you know what, I don't believe you really love me anymore either. I've heard this same spiel probably twenty times by now, and honestly, I'm getting sick of it," George presses on, his confidence growing with each minute that passes, even if it's getting harder for him to breathe as if the air in the room is congealing around him with ever increasing density the longer this drags on.

But although he feels slightly awful, his insides are twisting in knots and he's trembling slightly, the burdens pressing on his chest are getting lighter as well. If he can make it through this, he won't have to continue on in this melancholy pattern that is his life with Kyle. He can find his own happiness, preferably with Matty, but even if they don't work out for some reason, at least he won't spend the rest of his life in love with a memory of what once was.

"What do you want me to say George?" Kyle asks tiredly. "I love you, I really do, and I can prove it, but I don't know how to fix this over the phone."

"I want to know if you've been cheating on me," George states firmly, the question bursting out of him before he can comprehend that he's said it, but once it's been uttered, George doesn't attempt to take it back.

That is what most of this comes down to after all, where George's original insecurities had sprouted from. Kyle had done it before, he had hurt George, he had brushed it off as if it was something small, and George knows it is happening again. Kyle is acting so similar to the way he had back then, and George is determined to not back down this time until Kyle admits it.

"Not this again George," Kyle tries to deflect, but George knows his tactics by now, he's lived with them for years, and although he usually allows his inquiries to be brushed to the side, he digs in his heels for once in his life.

"Kyle, if you ever loved me at all, you'll be honest with me, just this once."

"I -" Kyle pauses for so long that George isn't sure if he's going to answer at all before finally resuming his sentence, "I did, have been, but it's not what you think George, and I'm really sorry."

" _Fuck_ ," George chokes out, his emotions so overwhelming that he has no idea how to process them, but Kyle barrels on before George can gather his wits.

"It's just...well my boss fancies me, and shagging him has gotten me some cases that I'd never land on my own. It's wrong, I know, I'm awful, but I'm not going to leave you to shack up with him or anything, he's bloody married to a woman in fact, and I can stop, I will stop. I've got enough credence now to make it on my own, and all that -"

"I knew it," George exhales shakily, and as much as Kyle's confession hurts, it's also a relief to know that he hadn't imagined everything after all.

"Please give me another chance George, it wasn't even all that often, most of the time when I stayed out late, it was really because of work, and sometimes I'd go to the bar or something since I didn't want to face you. I don't want to lose you, and I know I've fucked up, but it was never about feelings, or me not loving you, it was just sex. I shouldn't have done it, but once we started, I didn't know how to stop without getting fired, and I - I didn't want to tell because I was hoping it would all be over with before you ever found out."

"Are you even listening to yourself right now?" George snaps, the last tether that's kept him connected to Kyle snapping painful, leaving behind a fresh wound, but also freeing George entirely. "You don't love me, _fuck_ \- you lied to me, you betrayed me, and no amount of reasoning is going to make that any better. I'm sorry your boss is a prick that used you for your body, and I'm sorry you were too stupid to realize that you're a good enough lawyer to make it on your own, but what I'm not sorry about is leaving you, which I am. I won't be here when you get back."

"George..." Kyle whispers so softly that George barely catches the sound. "I know I don't deserve you, I shouldn't have slept with him in the first place, and I can't take that back, but _please_...don't give up on us. We are good together, I love you."

"Well I don't," George states firmly, his voice wobbling a bit at the end, but Kyle doesn't comment on it. "I can't believe you keep doing this to me, and if you really loved me, you'd be able to keep it in your pants, or at least bloody tell me when I asked you the first time."

"I was scared George, and I know I fucked up, but we can move past this yeah?"

"Did you know I have met someone else too?" George laughs dryly, completely ignoring Kyle's pleas in favor of getting everything off his chest. "His name's Matty, I might have mentioned him once or twice, and honestly, I think I'm falling for him, but unlike you, I haven't slept with him, or even kissed him, because I respect you, and I tried so hard to pretend I wasn't, because you were my boyfriend, and I gave you so many chances to win me back, to make me want you again, but it's too late. I just want to be happy Kyle, and being with you is making me the opposite of that, so please - stop pretending. It's over yeah?"

"I...okay," Kyle mumbles in a defeated tone. "You're right, I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't matter now," George sighs as his eyes begin to water even though this is what he wanted all along. "It wasn't all bad, it's just not enough now, and that's okay, it happens. I don't hate you, but I don't love you either."

"I understand...and uh - _fuck_ , I don't know what to say," Kyle sniffles, which has George battling back his tears as well. "If you ever need anything, you can call me, or like...if you change your mind. I do love you, that's the truth."

"I probably won't, but thank you," George answers coldly, his uncaring tone barely masking the sobs that are attempting to make their way out of his mouth.

"I come back tomorrow night by the way, I mean - if you don't have a place to go, you can stay, I can make myself scarce or whatever -"

"I have to leave," George states stubbornly, sensing that this is Kyle's last attempt at keeping him trapped, no matter how well meaning it seems, and honestly, he isn't ready to see Kyle face to face. He might not be surprised, but he's still upset over his deceit and infidelity, and he'd rather avoid him for the rest of his life if he can manage it. "Don't worry about me now, I'll be fine, and so will you."

"I hope so." Kyle sounds unsure, but George knows he's just thrown off. He will bounce back from this easily, he's the reason it's ending after all, and maybe eventually he'll find someone he loves enough to stay faithful to. "I should sleep now though, have to wrap up some stuff for the case early tomorrow."

"I need to go too, so...goodbye."

The utterance sounds so final when it hits the air, which is what George wants, but it's a dizzying sensation. He never thought this day would come, he couldn't imagine being able to properly leave Kyle until recently, and even now that it's happened, it seems like more of a dream than an event that he brought about.

"Goodbye George," Kyle replies in a tight voice.

George hangs up then, choking back the lump that's risen in his throat with a supreme amount of effort, his knuckles going white where they're clutching around his phone like it is the only thing keeping him grounded.

He feels dizzy and not himself anymore, but as scary as it is, George tries to embrace it. He knew this would be traumatic, breakups always are, but he'd hoped his lack of affection for Kyle would ease him through this, yet he still feels as lost and in pain as he did the first time he'd learned that Kyle had cheated on him.

It takes a few minutes, _well_ \- almost half an hour, but eventually George does manage to pull himself together. He knows he still has a lot of processing to do, that's how his mind works, especially with traumatic things, but for now, he presses it down, busying himself with packing up some clothes and sending John a text asking if he can use his house to crash at while he is on his honeymoon, to which John instantly replies saying his door is always open to him, as well as asking why of course.

 _"Later,"_ is all George can type back, because he's not ready to talk about this, to relive it, no matter how good it will be for him, because it still hurts.

George has lost a major part of his life, toxic or not, and it's going to take more than a few hours for him to acclimate himself to this, but he knows he did the right thing.

George debates messaging Matty as he gets ready for bed, deciding that he can leave for John's in the morning once he's calmed down a bit, but he discards that idea when his vision goes blurry a bit belatedly.

He isn't sure why he suddenly feels the urge to cry, but he lets himself anyway, and it's a good feeling besides his stinging eyes and his burning lungs.

When George finally runs out of tears, it's as if he's been cleansed of the poisons that Kyle had been filling his veins with. His heart still aches a bit, but he's okay, and he'll keep getting better, but for now he needs sleep.

He will speak to Matty soon, once he has recovered. Matty had said he'd wait for him, and unlike most of the things Kyle would promise him, George believes Matty, and it's that thought that allows him to drift off.

George's cheeks are stained and still damp, but a soft smile tugs at his lips as his eyes flutter closed and he lets everything fade away until the morning.


	18. "More Than Anything"

Matty tries not to check his phone as he readies himself for his shift, because he knows it's most likely empty, or - _well_ , empty of messages from the one person he wants to talk to.

He hasn't seen George in a week, and although they've texted a bit, it's not enough. Matty misses him so much, it's reaching the point where he feels a bit ridiculous, but his absence is harder to deal with than Matty had thought it would be.

Matty scrolls back up to the small paragraph George had sent him the morning after the wedding, rereading it for the hundredth time just to remind himself that it's real.

_"I broke up with Kyle - I actually did it. I'm staying at John's for the moment until I get things sorted, but I just wanted to let you know what's happened. I think I need a bit a time to get my head together, but you can always ring me if you need anything. Thank you for yesterday, and everything. I couldn't have done this without you."_

Matty sighs under his breath as he locks his phone and tosses it onto the counter, his chest aching with something that might be longing as he tries to guess how much longer George will need before he'll be willing to see Matty again.

Matty understands though, George has been through a lot. He's left his long-term boyfriend, and he needs to deal with that. Matty just wishes that didn't involve George shutting himself away from the world, or at least not him.

And _really_ , it's not like Matty has asked George if he can come over, or if George is up for going out, so it's not like George has completely cut him out of his life, not that Matty thinks he would.

Matty's determined to give George his space though, he doesn't want to drive him away by being too persistent, and even if Matty feels like a piece of him is missing after seven whole days without seeing George's smile or hearing his rumbling laugh, this isn't about him, and as long as George is okay, Matty will be too.

So Matty applies his makeup and fiddles with his hair until it looks expertly rumpled, spending more effort on his looks than he usually does in an effort to distract himself from all things George related.

Matty notices Olly giving him sidelong glances out of the corner of his eye, but he pretends not to see him, focusing instead on drawing a heart on his cheek in body glitter that's sure to get messed up once he begins dancing, but he does it anyway.

" _Oh_ \- I like that," Harry exclaims as he walks by Matty's chair, "can you do me next?"

"Sure," Matty forces out a smile, the expression a bit harder to come by now then it was a week ago, but he can't let the lack of George in his life weigh on him too heavily.

George will be back soon, and he wouldn't want Matty to mope about until he returns, so Matty is trying his best to act like he's fine even if that's not entirely true.

Matty moves over to where Harry is sitting, bringing his palette of glitter and letting the younger man choose which color he wants. He picks pink of course.

Matty concentrates on recreating his artwork, putting much more effort into Harry's than he did his, including whorls and spots surrounding the original heart, which makes Harry's eyes light up when he views the finished product.

"Matty, this your phone?" Olly calls out from the other side of the room as Matty is pulling on his heeled boots once Harry is done thanking him, pointing to the counter where Matty had indeed left the device.

"Yeah, it's fine there," Matty shrugs. He knows no one will steal it, not in here. The only people allowed in are the dancers and staff, and he trusts them all implicitly.

"George is texting you."

That's all it takes to have Matty practically sprinting over to where Olly is standing, his blood thrumming loudly in his ears as he grabs for his phone hastily, ignoring Olly's quiet chuckles as he tries to calm down enough to read the new message.

_"You working tonight?"_

Matty isn't sure why George is asking, but he doesn't let himself dwell on that, or get his hopes up just yet. He has to be on the floor any minute now actually, so he simply types back his reply as quickly as he can.

_"Yes - why?"_

"Come on lads, we're opening now," Adam pokes his head into the dressing room, his gaze resting on Matty when he doesn't move immediately. "That means you too Matty."

"I'm coming," Matty calls out as he begins slowly walking over to where Adam is standing with his arms crossed, his gaze glued to the screen of his device as he waits for George's response which luckily comes in just then.

_"You'll see, have fun."_

Matty groans as he tosses his phone onto his bag, following Adam and the rest of the boys into the main room even though what he really wants to do is ring George up and ask him what that means, but apparently he'll find out soon enough, so he tries to shove all George related thoughts from his mind so he can focus on the customers that are filing inside.

Matty knows it's stupid, but he still searches through the crowd for a head of messy blonde hair, and he's only slightly disappointed when he doesn't spot George amongst the numerous patrons.

~~~

By the time Matty's shift is almost over, he's mostly managed to forget about George, or as close as he can manage that is.

He's had a good evening, the tips have been higher than usual tonight, and he and Nick had done a dance together that had gotten quite a nice reception, meaning he should be good for his rent, at least _this_ month.

He had been sneaking glances at his phone on his breaks and such, but George hasn't sent anything else, so Matty is losing faith that he'll see him tonight.

That realization leaves him in a bit of a foul mood, causing him to handle the empty glasses he's gathering a bit more roughly than usual as he cleans off the vacated tables just to give himself something to do that doesn't involve moping.

Matty has to bite back a snarky remark when Harry practically jumps on his back ten minutes before closing, his excited actions nearly sending Matty toppling to the floor before he can regain his balance.

"Matty - look!" Harry whisper-shouts in his ear, "isn't that George?"

Just the utterance of George's name erases all traces of irritation bubbling under Matty skin, only for it to be replaced by a wave of elation tinged with a hint of nerves.

Matty is almost scared to turn around, but he knows Harry wouldn't play a joke like this on him, that would be too cruel, and sure enough, when Matty looks over his shoulder after shoving Harry off of him, George is standing there in the doorway, a sheepish smile spreading across his face as he locks eyes with Matty from across the room.

Matty feels a bit like he's in the middle of a romantic movie, because he's suddenly overcome with the urge to run into George's arms and cling to him as tightly as possible, but he refrains.

George is heading his way already, and honestly, Matty has no idea what this visit is going to entail, and it might not necessarily mean anything, but _god_ \- Matty hopes it does.

"Hey," George mumbles lowly, his gaze shifting away from Matty for a brief second over to Harry who is still standing behind Matty with a shit eating grin on his face.

Matty raises his brow at him questioningly, only for Harry to blush slightly before he scurries away, leaving Matty and George mostly alone since the majority of the patrons have gone and everyone else is busy cleaning up or headed home already.

"Hi," Matty answers, a flush staining his cheeks when his voice cracks slightly. "What're you doing here?" he dares to ask, his breathing growing shallow and his hands shaking slightly with the effort it's taking him to remain calm.

"Wanted to see you," George shrugs like he hasn't just said exactly what Matty has been wanting to hear for a week as he slides into a nearby booth. "I'm sorry I disappeared like that. I just...had to make sure of some things."

"It's fine yeah?" Matty waves him off, because it _is_ , disregarding the fact that it doesn't feel that way. He seats himself next to George as he speaks, trying to keep a bit of space between their bodies even though all he wants to do is curl himself around the taller man. "I understand, you can take as long as you need, I promise."

"I just had to make sure I did the right think you know?"

"And do you think you did?" Matty asks nervously, because although it will gut him if George is starting to regret leaving Kyle, he has to know where his head is at. As smitten as he is with him, George's happiness comes first always.

"Yes," George replies instantly, "I feel free, but also...it's like I'm missing something, missing _you_ ," George spits out hurriedly, "but I don't want you to think you're a rebound, or that I'm using you to move on, so I tried to stay away. I told myself I would wait for two weeks, but I barely even made it one. I know this has all happened so fast, and if you want to remain friends for a bit, I understand, but I want you so fucking much Matty, I can't stop thinking about you, it's -"

"Can I kiss you now?" Matty cuts in, stopping George's frantic rambling in its track with his question.

Matty waits for George's jerky nod before he all but climbs into his lap, his lips seeking out George's as he tilts his head up needily. Matty thinks he hears someone whoop as their mouths connect, but he's too focused on George to find out who is watching, although it sounds suspiciously like Olly.

George wraps one of his arms around Matty's waist as they kiss, his grip allowing Matty to melt against him as he drinks in George's taste, his smell, but mostly the pressure of his lips against his own.

Matty hasn't kissed anyone in ages, not since Olly, and _fuck_ \- he forgot how much he loves this, and doing it with George might just be one of the best experiences of his life.

All of the pent up tension that Matty's been burying down for months is exploding out of him, and it seems to be the same for George as well. Both of their movements become more frantic as George slips his tongue past Matty's lips, licking into his mouth eagerly while Matty tries his best not to moan aloud.

Matty forces himself to pull away when he feels his cock swelling in his trousers, his vision going slightly fuzzy and his breath emitting in a ragged fashion as he tries to regain control of himself.

George looks just as flustered as Matty does, his eyes are dark and bright, his pupils dilating visibly as he licks at his swollen lips slowly. His thumb brushes at that heart on Matty's cheek softly as they stare at each for what feels like eons, allowing Matty to savor the moment and assure himself that this is really happening.

"Back room," Matty heaves out when he can speak again, his body aching with the need for George, and although he realizes that he could just ask him to come home with him, he honestly doesn't think he can wait that long.

For one brief second, Matty wonders if he's moving things along too quickly, but when George nods rapidly, that fear evaporates instantaneously.

Matty's never been one to take things slow, and he's wanted George for so long, he can't remember a time when he wasn't longing for him. He's been patient, but now that he's allowed to touch George, he can't remember the meaning of that word.

George lets Matty drag him down the hallways leading to the more private area of the club. Matty opens the first door he sees, his breath hitching in his chest as George immediately sinks down on the low couch once they are inside.

Matty gasps when George grabs his waist, pulling him back into his lap with a surprising show of strength that shouldn't turn Matty on as much as it does.

"God Matty," George exhales as he rolls his hips upward, showing Matty that he's just as affected by this as he is, "you have no clue how long I've been wanting this."

" _George_ ," Matty whimpers in an embarrassing fashion, his skin prickling with heat and lust as he tries to get George to kiss him again, but when the other man begins dragging his mouth down his neck instead, Matty can't help but buck against him, a ragged groan leaving his lips as their cocks rub together with just the right amount of friction.

George reattaches their mouths then, swallowing down the noises Matty's making as he guides his frantic movements with one hand on his hip, the other tangling in curls, tugging just enough to have Matty's cock leaking in response.

"So gorgeous," George mutters quietly, "so perfect."

Matty whimpers softly at the praise, his stomach tightening up and his legs shaking as he performs both the shittiest and the best lap dance of his life, but it's not enough. He wants to feel George's skin, to make him come, to hear the sounds he produces as he does so he won't have to imagine them anymore.

Matty fumbles with the button of George's jeans when George returns to sucking on his neck, his shaky fingers finally managing to get them undone with a bit of effort.

George lifts himself up as he much as he can without dislodging Matty from his perch, allowing him to tug them out of the way just enough to free his cock, his mouth watering slightly as he stares down at what is most likely the best dick he's ever seen in his life.

Matty wants to admire it more, to taste it, to have it inside of him, but that can be arranged later, so for now, he simply wraps his hand around it, his own cock twitching in response when he feels George's heat and weight against his sweaty palm.

" _Fuck_ ," George grunts, his hips jerking upward as Matty gives him a firm stroke. "Here, let me..."

George trails off as he maneuvers their positions, lying Matty back against the sofa while pulling down his trousers as well.

Matty almost cries with relief when his dick is out, and he does make a sound suspiciously close to that when George lines up their cocks and wraps his long fingered hand around the both of them.

"George, _please_ \- I need to come," Matty pleads, his body reacting much too quickly to all of this, but he can't really be blamed for that. He's been waiting for this for ages, and now that it's finally happening, the wait is making everything ten times better.

Or maybe that is Matty's feelings, because George means the world to him, and Matty knows he means something to George as well. He's not a rebound, or an easy fuck, or a stripper, or anything right now. He's just _Matty_ , that's how George sees him, and Matty knows that George would never use him or hurt him.

That security allows him to let go, to show a side of himself to George that he's honestly not sure anyone has ever seen before. Matty wonders if George knows all of that, he should probably tell him actually, but he can do that after they've both come.

"I've got you," George whispers through gritted teeth as he pumps their cocks rapidly, his body smothering Matty in the best way as he tightens his grip. "Come for me love."

Much to his surprise, that's all it takes for Matty to let go. His thighs shake erratically and a strangled moan leaves his lips as George strokes him through his release.

Matty clutches to George as he comes, his nails digging into his shoulders as he streaks his stomach with spunk, his eyes falling shut and his head lolling backward as George continues moving his hand, drawing everything out just how Matty likes it.

George comes moments later, his muscles tensing up and his lips latching onto Matty's neck when he does. Matty groans weakly in response, his mouth nudging George's cheek until he gets the hint and starts kissing him properly, their tongues chasing each other's lazily long after George releases his grip on their spent cocks.

"Fucking hell," Matty stretches slightly when he feels like he can move again, "I can't believe you made me wait a whole extra week for this."

George barks out a laugh at Matty's statement, his eyes crinkling happily as he tucks his dick away, inspiring Matty to copy his actions, although he has no idea what to do about the mess of come that's covering his abdomen.

George takes cares of that though, using his shirt to wipe it off without seeming to mind the state it leaves the fabric in, causing Matty to smile giddily when George presses a few soft kisses to his belly once he's clean.

"You're right, I feel a bit silly now, actually. We could have been doing this much sooner if I'd gotten my shit together quicker," George finally responds as he helps Matty sit up properly. "I just didn't want to ruin this by rushing into anything."

"You didn't, and you won't," Matty promises, "and I know we need to talk more, but right now, I really just want you to take me home."

"Yeah?"

"More than anything," Matty nods, his head feeling light and fuzzy, almost like it might float away if George keeps staring at him with that look of adoration, "if that's alright with you of course."

"Like you even need to ask, _god_ \- you have no idea how much I've wanted this."

And honestly - Matty does know, because he feels the same. He's been hiding his attraction to George since day one, they've been dancing around each other for so long that Matty had begun to wonder if anything would come of this, but it's finally out in the open now.

Matty's surprised he hadn't cracked sooner, so now he just wants everything that he never thought George would be able to give him, but he doesn't know how to put that into words.

Instead, he simply wraps his fingers around George's wrist and tugs him down for another kiss, using his actions to convey everything he's unable to say aloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello - it's been months. I'm so sorry for the wait but I am back and I promise I intend to finish this story very soon.
> 
> I have no excuse for why this took so long, my life has just been a bit hectic and writing isn't as easy as it used to be, but I am determined to keep on with it so I thank you all for being patient with me.
> 
> I hope some of you are still here and it means the world to me if you are.


	19. "Perfect"

Matty had assumed that after their session in the club, he'd calm down a bit, or maybe George would have, but when George pushes him against the wall of his apartment the second the door closes behind them and kisses him, Matty's cock swells and his stomach churns in anticipation of more.

Matty's lips feel puffy and used, but he pushes against George's mouth eagerly anyway, deepening the kiss until he feels George's teeth nipping at his skin. Matty can't get enough, it's almost as if he'll never be sated, and it's only when he gets so lost in their motions that he forgets to breathe that he's forced to pull away.

"I love kissing you," George murmurs as Matty gasps for air, his forehead leaning against Matty's in a gentle fashion that has Matty's heart fluttering in his chest even as his cock pulses against his zipper. "I don't want to stop."

"Then don't," Matty encourages him.

George takes Matty advice, kissing him like he'll die if he breaks the contact of their mouths, leaving Matty weak at the knees and clinging to the fabric of George's stained shirt. Eventually, Matty's brain gets the brilliant idea to remove the piece of fabric from George's body, and _fuck_ \- he's so glad that he does.

"Bloody hell, you're fit," Matty exhales heavily. He's a bit embarrassed by how awestruck he sounds, but it's the truth.

Endearingly enough, George blushes in the way of a response, making Matty fall that much harder for him in the process.

"And you're gorgeous," George adds a few seconds later.

Matty melts then and there, his bones turn to jelly and he actually sways in place for a moment. George seems to notice his unsteady movements since he steps forward and braces Matty with a soft touch to his shoulder, which Matty leans into gratefully.

Matty briefly wonders if he's caught in an amazing dream, because this seems too good to be real. He knows it's not though, he didn't make George up, even if it seems that he did at times.

He can't believe he's here though, that George is his, at least for the night, and hopefully longer than that, but if by some slim chance this is a fantasy that his mind has concocted, Matty is determined to make the most of it.

"Take me to bed?" Matty asks breathily, a shiver running down his spine when George nods eagerly before letting Matty lead him down the short hallway into his room.

Matty tumbles backward onto the mattress when the back of his knees hit it, pulling George down with him in the process. George reattaches their lips again instantly, his tongue stealing Matty's air and his coherency as it sweeps into his mouth as soon as he parts his teeth.

"What do you want from me?" George eventually asks when Matty begins bucking upward needily, his messy hair and blown out pupils causing the desperation Matty is barely holding back to flare up suddenly.

"Fuck me George - _please_?" Matty begs.

Matty knows they are moving quickly once again, but as he had already decided in the club, he doesn't care as long as George is on the same page. They've done their share of waiting, and if he doesn't get George's cock inside of him soon, he thinks he might actually cry.

"God Matty," George groans softly as he hands begin tearing at Matty's clothes, removing them so quickly that Matty is surprised that nothing is ripped in the process, not that he would mind if it was.

Matty gasps as the cool air of the room hits his heated cock once George manages to pull down his leather trousers, the contrasting temperatures somehow increasing his arousal. Matty feels like he's weighed down with desire, his limbs seem heavy and languid, and all he wants is for George to take care of him, which George appears intent on doing.

"Lube?" George asks once he's gotten rid of his own jeans, his cock jutting up toward his stomach as his eyes dart around Matty's room impatiently.

"Drawer," Matty points, something that might be a giggle bubbling up in his throat as George all but lunges for the dresser he gestured to, returning with his bottle of lube and a condom as well.

Matty isn't sure why he's on the verge of laughter, but can't deny that he is borderline giddy. It's probably because he'd never thought he'd be here, watching George slick up his large fingers as his legs spread automatically for him, his hips tilting upward in the hopes of inciting George to move quicker as George gazes down at him endearingly.

Matty thinks if he doesn't focus on holding back his chuckles he might begin spewing out words instead, including a set of three that he feels so strongly it almost aches. Now isn't the time though, he doesn't want to tell George he loves him as he's circling his rim teasingly with his thumb, so he focuses on the sensations he's experiencing instead of the declaration of love that is bouncing around in his head.

"You okay?" George asks when Matty whimpers quietly, his hand still hovering between Matty's splayed thighs as if asking permission although Matty has already granted him full control over his body.

"Perfect," Matty nods, his head lolling back as George's lips tilt up into a smile, his muscles tensing up when George presses one finger inside of him gently.

Matty can't stop the loud moan that escapes his throat when George begins moving the digit inside of him, because even though it's nothing compared to what his cock will feel like, Matty's forgotten how wonderful it is to be full of something. Even at the club, he's mostly been giving blowjobs lately, and even if he had been getting fucked every night, he knows nothing will ever come close to matching what it's like to be with George.

Matty quickly falls to pieces as George adds another finger, and then a third. His cock is already dripping all over his abdomen as he tries not to come, and he can't seem to stop the endless stream of sounds that are bubbling out of his chest continuously. He debates asking George to give him his cock now before he loses it completely, but he's bigger than anyone he's ever taken before, so he knows he needs the extra prep.

"You think you're ready?" George speaks up after an indeterminate amount of time, snapping Matty out of his pleasure induced haze for a moment, his lungs burning as he tries to drag in enough oxygen to form a reply.

Matty's gaze flits over George's body as he nods in lieu of using words. He notices that George is just as affected by all of this as he is, and he hasn't even touched himself yet. His cock is wet at the head too, its angry red color showing how close he is to losing it, and _god_ \- the fact that George is so turned on simply by fingering Matty makes him feel powerful, and somehow also adored.

"I am George, I need you," Matty chokes out when George still doesn't move, his legs trembling with want when George finally rolls a condom over his length and lubes himself up, wiping the excess off around Matty's stretched rim, which drags a tortured cry out of him.

"Tell me if I need to stop," George whispers reassuringly as he grabs the base of his dick, guiding it gently against Matty's hole as Matty lifts up eagerly to meet him.

Matty thinks he might temporarily black out when George pushes inside of him, because _fuck_ \- he's so full he almost can't handle the sensation. There is a bit of pain, but nothing overwhelming, mostly he just feels stretched, and vulnerable, and cared for.

George sets a slow pace at first, his hips rocking into Matty gently as he leans over, his frame hovering above Matty's which lets George trail sloppy kisses across his neck and chest.

Matty is too overcome to match his motions at first, he simply lies there and tries to process everything, but when George hits his prostate, ripping a harsh groan out of him in the process, his body begins moving back against George's, seeking more of the pleasure that's starting to burn him up from the inside out.

Matty has never thought of sex as beautiful before. It's nice of course, he never complains about a good orgasm, but he had always scoffed at the people who call it making love, or who gushed about how wonderful and mind blowing it is.

Now he understands, because honestly, it feels wrong to describe what he and George are doing as fucking, it is so much more than that. Their movements are so in sync it almost feels like they are participating in a filthy dance, and the euphoria he's receiving from all of this transcends everything else he's ever experienced.

Matty comes so quickly he barely has time to warn George that he's close. He clings to George as he cries out, his muscles locking up as he spurts hotly across his stomach. George kisses him through his orgasm, his own body beginning to shake as he follows Matty over the edge a minute later, his cock swelling inside of Matty as he empties himself into the condom.

Matty pants heavily when George pulls out slowly, his eyes drifting shut as George shifts to the side before returning with one of their shirts which he uses to clean Matty off again.

Matty knows he needs a shower, but he honestly isn't sure if he can move, so he stays put, letting George wipe him down with a tenderness that Matty has never been treated to before.

Matty bites his swollen lip to stop himself from blurting out the words bouncing around inside of his head. He doesn't want to ruin this perfect moment by telling George he loves him, because it might be too much. Matty knows George cares, but he can't scare him off, not know when he finally has him.

"You alright love?" George chuckles hoarsely when Matty whimpers softly, his sensitive cock twitching slightly when George brushes over it softly with whatever fabric he's using to remove the come from Matty's skin.

"I'm incredible," Matty mumbles sleepily, and he truly means that.

He feels sated and content, also a bit sticky and sweaty, but he really doesn't care about that right now. Moving means being further away from George, and Matty isn't ready to do that just yet.

"I think you are too," George grins cheekily, easily dodging Matty's hand when he tries to swat at him playfully.

"Come here and cuddle me," Matty whines when George doesn't immediately return to his side, his neediness apparently not dissipating even after two orgasms, but Matty has a feeling it probably never will when George is involved.

"I can stay the night?" George asks like it's even a question at this point, a sheepish looking crossing his face when Matty scoffs while scooting over to make more room for George on the mattress.

"I want you to," Matty speaks just in case George hasn't gotten his point. He is rewarded with George's warm torso pressing against his own as he crawls under the blankets next to him, covering them both up before he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of Matty's head. "You're not just a fuck to me you know?"

"Good, because you're so much more than that to me," George answers in a low mumble.

Matty can't hide the smile that splits his face in two, but a yawn soon interrupts the happy expression. He wants to discuss this further with George, to talk about what they are and if George wants what Matty does, but they're both exhausted, so it can wait until the morning.

"Goodnight George," Matty whispers quietly as he snuggles as close to him as he can, his lids already drooping shut when he feels George wrap an arm around him securely.

"Sweet dreams love," George responds.

Matty drifts off with his head nestled on George's chest, his steady heartbeat lulling him to sleep almost instantly.

Matty thinks he hears George say something as his mind begins to go blank, it almost sounds like _'I love you'_ , but Matty is too far gone to decipher if it's real or the start of a dream before he loses consciousness entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean for this to take so long but I sort of hit a smut writing block for a bit.
> 
> I finally got this finished though and I am happy with the way it turned out even if it's not as detailed as I originally planned it to be.
> 
> I think there is only one more chapter after this, but it might turn into two if I can't tie it all up at once. I haven't entirely decided how I am doing that yet, but either way I will try to update soon.


	20. "I'm In Love With You"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is not dead I promise in fact it's almost over and I am determined to finish it off soon.
> 
> There is only one more chapter after this which will be a sort of epilogue then Intertwined Souls will finally be done.
> 
> I spent so much time worrying about this chapter in my head but I think I finally got it right now and I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.

When George wakes up this time in Matty's home with a warm weight pressed against his side, he knows it isn't Allen, and that fact has him smiling before he's even properly opened his eyes. Matty is _here_ \- with him, and starting his day next to someone he cares so much for is the best thing that has happened to him in ages.

The events of last night flash through George's mind at lightning speed, transforming his expression from a soft smile into a proper grin as he remembers everything that had occurred after he'd gone to see Matty at the club.

In a way, it sort of feels like a dream. It seems impossible for him to actually be this content with his life, but he is, and the fact that Matty has brought this amount of happiness to him simply by existing is something George doesn't think he'll ever stop being grateful for.

George also recalls what he had uttered to Matty as they had drifted off, the almost inaudible _'I love you'_ that he hadn't truly intended to fall past his lips. That doesn't mean he hadn't meant it though, and _yes_ \- it might be too soon to tell if George is actually in love, but this feels right, as if it was meant to be, and he doesn't regret his unintended declaration.

George wants to fall in love with Matty, he aches to spend every night with him and greet each morning with his soft curls tickling at his chin and his gentle exhales brushing against his skin. He hopes this is what the future holds for him, it seems to be heading that way, but after being hurt in the past, a part of him is terrified that Matty isn't as dedicated to this budding relationship as he is.

But Matty has done nothing to fuel that assumption, _in fact_ , he's practically proved the opposite at every opportunity. He's been there for George since the day they met, even when he had no reason to be.

George was just another face in the crowd, a stranger that Matty could have easily tried to take money from, but he hadn't. He'd respected George, he'd listened to him when no one else had, he'd supported him in everything and never pushed George too far, letting him take his time with Kyle, allowing him to make his own decision when he was ready, and now he's here just like he promised he'd be.

Matty begins to stir just then, disrupting George from his internal musing as he blinks his eyes slowly, a joyful grin tugging at the corners of his mouth when he looks up only to meet George's gaze since he had been staring down at him without even realizing it.

"You're not Allen, but you're much more handsome than him, and you smell better too," Matty mumbles, causing George to laugh freely at his statement.

"I'm a bit surprised by that last one, was almost certain I reeked of come and sweat," George retorts playfully. He does really need a shower, but that would involve moving away from Matty, and he's not ready to do that just yet.

"It's a nice scent, they should make a perfume of it really, it's very arousing."

"You're even more ridiculous than usual in the morning," George teases, his lips aching with how hard he's smiling, but it's a wonderful pain that he'd like to experience more often.

"I am, this is why I never get up this early."

"Did I wake you?" George questions, not that he thinks he did. He'd been completely silent after all, but he wants to make sure he's not bothering the other man, or even worse, overstaying his welcome.

"No, I sort of just wanted to make sure you were still here," Matty admits after a few seconds of silence.

"And it's alright that I am yeah?" George has to ask, because if Matty does want him to leave, he will, even if it kills him.

"It's wonderful," Matty answers instantly, assuaging all of George's irrational fears with the simple statement. "In fact, you should never leave again."

"That would be lovely, but at some point, I should wash up, probably need to text John too so he doesn't think I've died."

"You still staying at his place?" Matty queries in between yawing in the most adorable fashion that George has ever witnessed.

"Yeah, was hoping I'd be out before his honeymoon was over, but that hasn't happened yet. They got back two nights ago, but I've not really been up for apartment hunting. I was a bit occupied with other things, mainly you if I'm being honest." George fiddles with a loose piece of skin at the edge of his nail as he speaks, his cheeks flaring a dull red when he realizes how smitten he must sound, not that he isn't.

Matty pauses for so long that George thinks he's fallen back asleep, but when he glances in his direction to ascertain if his guess is correct, he sees Matty biting at his bottom lip, a worried expression tugging at his features that has George instantly concerned as well.

George doesn't break the moment though, letting whatever is going on in Matty's head play itself out, his breath catching in his chest as worst case scenarios run through his own brain. This is _Matty_ though, he isn't going to hurt him, at least, George doesn't think he is.

And when Matty finally does open his mouth, what he says next lays George's insecurities completely to rest, because if there was anything Matty could do to prove that he was truly serious about them, this is it.

"So, I have a crazy idea...and feel free to say no, because believe me, I know I sound mental, but - _um_...well, basically I can't afford my rent, or I won't be able to soon since they are raising it at the beginning of the year. I'll be fine either way, but if you wanted, maybe you could move in with me? I mean, you need a place to stay, and I need a roommate, so it seems logical."

"You're serious?" George blurts out, his heart fluttering rapidly against his ribcage thanks to Matty's suggestion.

He wants that so badly now that the offer is on the table, not only for his own selfish reasons involving been as close to Matty as possible at all times, but so he can help him out with his monetary issues as well. He tries to say so, to verbally agree to this plan, but he's stricken speechless after his initial outburst.

"It's stupid, I know. We haven't even been together a full day, but just - _fuck_ , I don't know, I can tell this is real if that makes sense? I've been told I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, and it's cliché, and ridiculous, but I want to be with you properly, this isn't just a bit a fun for me. If it's too fast for you, then I completely understand, but I really don't want to leave this flat, and if you need a place to stay, it's sort of perfect. If it doesn't work for whatever reason, you could always leave at any time and I'd figure something out, but I -"

"Matty, I'd love that, honestly," George finally finds his voice again, cutting off Matty's frantic rambling before he can get even more worked up. "I want to be with you too, I want you to be my boyfriend, _hell_ \- I think I'm falling in love with you, I really do," George confesses, barreling forward before Matty can react to his sudden confession. "Moving in together may seem a bit hasty, but honestly, I've been gone for you for so long it doesn't feel that way to me, and if I hadn't been with Kyle when I met you, we would have already been dating for months by this point."

"Yeah, you mean it?" Matty asks, his expression taking on a hopeful cast tinged with an aura of tentativeness that has George one hundred percent sure that Matty desires him in his life just as badly as he does.

"I do, every word."

"I think I'm in love with you too," Matty whispers, almost as if he's not allowed to say it, "and I want to be your boyfriend more than anything."

George understands the sensation, he's been struggling with his own emotions for so long that this internal battle feels like all he's ever know, but now it's over, they've won, at least in his opinion they have. They are free to express their adoration for each other, there is no Kyle in the way anymore. All of his previous guilt has been erased, and now he is unburdened from everything that had been forcing him to keep Matty at arm's length.

"I'm so fucking gone for you it sort of scares me," George blurts out, his head and his mouth disconnecting from each other, although they are both traveling along the same lines, he just hadn't meant to say it aloud.

"You think you're the only one? I fucking asked the entire club for advice on how to handle being so in love with you, that's how into you I am. I'll never live that one down, especially not now."

"Did you?" George chuckles airily. "Were they helpful at least?"

"God no, not in the slightest, _well_ \- Harry was vaguely decent with advice, but remind me never to do that again. Be prepared for their teasing the next time you stop by, they'll probably all claim that it's thanks to them that we got together."

"I don't really care how it happened, I'm just glad that it did, so they can take the credit if they want," George smiles, something about the fact that Matty assumes he'll be stopping by again soon warming his insides, maybe because it's another way of showing that he wants George in his life, and it's gratifying to be able to take that position without worrying about Kyle and his own misgivings.

"You sap," Matty sighs.

George is about to argue with Matty's statement, because Matty is at least as sappy as he is, if not more, but then the other man leans over and kisses him, effectively silencing George with the pressure of his lips and the soft graze of his tongue.

Matty starts just when George is really getting into the kiss, inciting him to instinctually grab for his hand while his eyes snap open, holding it tightly for a brief moment before he realizes it's only Allen's sudden arrival that has caused Matty to jump. The dog hops up onto the bed easily, uncaring of what he's interrupting. He snuggles into George's side without even a glance at Matty who is pouting in his direction.

"Hey boy," George grins, using his free hand to pet at his ears gently which causes Allen to release a soft huff of contentment.

"Apparently Allen loves you too, so that's settled it then, you have to move in now or he'll be upset."

"Guess I do, I wouldn't know what to do if Allen was cross at me," George laughs, the sound rumbling out of his chest with an ease that he had forgotten he possessed.

"But you can change your mind of course at any time, I won't throw a fit -"

"I know I can love," George interjects once again, "but we'll talk about it more later, and if either of has any issues with the new living arrangements, which I doubt we will, we can discuss it and find a solution that works for the both of us, but right now, I mostly just want to kiss you some more."

"Then why aren't you?" Matty teases, his eyes narrowing when George glances behind him to where Allen is still pressing against his spine.

"Well I don't want to mentally scar your dog, and I can't promise I'll be able to stop at only kissing."

"Out he goes then," Matty announces as he springs off of the mattress, shooing Allen into the hallway skillfully before closing the door behind him. "He'll have to learn to use his own bed at some point anyway, I always let him stay in mine, but you're much better company."

"He can come back when I'm finished with you," George grins, his chest swelling with love as Matty all but rushes into his arms.

And as George kisses Matty fiercely, it hits him all over again that this is his life, Matty is his _boyfriend_ , and soon this will be his home.

He can't help but to smile against Matty's mouth when the thought sinks in, their teeth clacking lightly before George manages to contain the stubborn upturn of his lips, but it's only seconds later that he's grinning again, the expression making everything better as their bodies meld together like they were never meant to be apart.


	21. "Time Flies"

**_One year later..._ **

"George, did you get the dog food?" Matty calls out when he hears the door of the flat he shares with his boyfriend creak open, not bothering to walk into the main room to greet him since he's busy struggling to button up his jacket which stubbornly seems to be refusing to cooperate.

"Oh fuck me - I forgot," George's deep voice answers.

" _Really_?" Matty whines back, "but I have to leave for work now, and Allen doesn't have enough for breakfast in the morning."

"I'm sorry love," George apologizes as he enters the bedroom, a smile tugging at his lips as he watches Matty fighting with his clothing, "my meeting ran long and it completely slipped my mind to stop by the shop after. Not sure if I'm a fan of this promotion since I can't make my living from the sofa anymore."

"Oh sod off, you love it, and you deserve it yeah? Not to mention I already told everyone that my boyfriend is the main editor of a famous magazine, so don't you dare back out now," Matty teases, a proud smile tugging at his lips even when George rolls his eyes at him affectionately, his previous frustrations with him evaporating instantly in his presence.

"Well the extra money isn't bad, and I guess it is nice for the most part, but I miss being at home."

"You're still here more than I am," Matty points out, keeping the argument going just for the sake of it. He knows George is pleased with his new job title, they both do, but Matty likes to continuously remind him how wonderful it is that he had been chosen for it. This is a huge opportunity for him, and Matty is so pleased that he managed to achieve a prominent position with Mojo magazine at such a young age, even if he forgets to do the shopping more often than he used to. "Speaking of, I'm already late, and the club opens in a few minutes, so do you mind driving me?"

"Yeah of course, I can get Allen's food on the way home, and I'll pick you up later if you want?" George offers.

"Won't you be asleep?" Matty queries, finally getting his jacket fastened correctly, tugging on his comfortable trainers since he's left his nice boots in the dressing room at Menswear.

"Nah, I'll stay up. I'm off for the next few days remember, we are going to go visit your mum and help her with that bookshelf she can't seem to get together."

" _Oh fuck_ \- that's next week isn't it?" Matty groans while tying his laces. "I swear to god this month has disappeared, like the clock sped up on me or something."

"Well you know the saying, time flies when you're having fun," George smirks, dragging Matty in for a quick kiss as soon as he straightens up.

"So you're to blame then?" Matty grins when George releases his mouth.

"Mhmm," George mumbles, dragging Matty back in before he has the chance to catch his breath, kissing him deeper this time, leaving Matty dizzy and a bit lightheaded when he finally pulls away.

"Stop kissing me and take me to work chauffer," Matty giggles airily, smacking at George's arm when he pouts sullenly. "You'll have plenty of time to ravage me afterward with your time off."

"Not true since we'll be staying at your mum's," George points out.

"You are allowed to kiss me there too you know, my mother won't faint."

"Wasn't talking about kissing," George answers lowly, but Matty refuses to be distracted for any longer.

"Then we'll make sure to fuck twice as much before we leave, but come on now, Jamie will kill me if I'm late again," Matty groans when George begins nipping at his neck lightly.

"You know he won't, he loves you," George replies, but he does finally make his way toward the door, grabbing the keys to their car as he goes while Matty follows behind him closely. "What time do you think you'll be off tonight?"

"Probably around two, _oh_ \- also before I forget, Nick and Harry want to meet up for drinks soon, and we have to find them a wedding gift as well."

"We will do, we've got time," George nods, opening the door for Matty so he can duck out first, locking up their flat behind them, "and you can plan a day and let me know, I'll make sure I'm off for it."

"We assume we have time, that's what I thought about this visit, but look at me now, before I know it, it'll be Christmas," Matty sighs in exasperation. "Is this me getting old, am I losing my mind already?"

"You're not old love, just busy, but don't worry, we'll find them something perfect soon, maybe we can even go shopping with your mum while we are there," George soothes him. "I've never been to a Christmas wedding, I really am looking forward to it."

"Well, it's not actually on Christmas day, but it will be wonderful I'm sure. Harry's been going mental with the planning, think he's driving Nick a bit up the wall from what I can tell, although it's odd mostly talking to them through text and not face to face," Matty muses.

Both Harry and Nick had quit dancing not long after they had decided to get married, not that they didn't like it, but Nick had finally gotten an opportunity to work in radio like he'd always wanted, and Harry found a job at a bakery that he instantly fell in love with.

Initially, they'd meant to work double to pay for the wedding expenses, but they found that it was easier on them as a couple to stop stripping and focus more on themselves, which had Matty wondering if he might do the same eventually.

He doesn't plan on leaving Menswear soon, he adores it still, and unlike Harry and Nick, he isn't sure what he would do if he did quit. He's a dancer, that's what he's always been. Maybe one day he won't be, but for now, it is still his favorite thing to do, and getting paid to do it makes it that much more enjoyable, even if certain people choose to look down on him since he is technically a stripper.

George doesn't though, he's just as understanding about why Matty stays there as he was when they initially got together. A few things have changed since then of course, Matty no longer does private dances, or anything besides stage shows actually, so he makes much less money, but with George's income added to his own, he no longer has to worry about that.

His monetary problems are now a thing of the past, in fact, almost all of his old worries and fears are. He's truly happy now, mostly thanks to George, and it seems that George feels the same.

They had moved in together barely a week after they became official, and even though Matty had been fearful that he had been pushing George too quickly after months of treading cautiously, everything had clicked into place so easily that Matty felt a bit silly for ever having any doubts.

There was one awkward instance where they had run into Kyle while leaving together not long after George was settled in with Matty. Kyle still lived in his old place of course, so it was bound to happen at some point, but Matty had been so fearful that seeing him would make George regret everything, causing him to lose his newfound source of joy.

Kyle had been bitter and cruel, spouting harsh words at George, accusing him of cheating on him as well since he'd obviously gotten over him so quickly, but George had brushed him off much to Matty's surprise. Afterward, he'd assured Matty that he was fine, that Kyle no longer had the power to hurt him, and his opinion didn't matter to him, because they both know the truth.

They haven't had another encounter with him since, although Matty occasionally sees him around, and he's sure George does too, but like George said, he's unimportant. He doesn't want to focus on the past, because he has George now, and Kyle doesn't. George obviously seems content with his decision, he never gives Matty any reason to question their relationship even a year later, so Matty isn't going to cause issues where this is none.

And there really isn't any problems with their current situation. As  cliché as it sounds, Matty thinks that he and George fit together like two halves of a whole. He makes sure to support George in whatever he does, to listen to him and not push him aside like he knows Kyle did to him for so long, and George does the same to Matty. He didn't judge him or grow upset when Matty stated that he wanted to keep dancing, they just had a chat about what George was comfortable with and how things would shift now that they were together.

Matty wants to make sure that George doesn't feel like he's cheating on him in any fashion after everything he's been through, but George knows that. He seems to be the only one who truly gets Matty, maybe even better than he does himself.

And in moments like this, when they are discussing domestic things like family plans and upcoming weddings, Matty is positive that he wants to spend the rest of his life with George. They haven't talked about marriage or anything like that, but when he looks to the future, George is always there by his side.

Matty thinks that George feels the same, he always includes Matty in everything, including his decision to take his newest promotion, but also in little things like what he wants for dinner. They've even joined their bank accounts already on George's insistence, which feels very much like something married people do, although Matty knows George did it so he would stop feeling guilty about how much less he makes compared to him.

But for now, Matty is ecstatic with where they are. He's in no rush to tie the knot, because in a way, he knows nothing would change besides a piece of paper. George is the love of his life, he brightens each of his days already, and Matty will let whatever happens next unfold in its own time. For now, he's simply going to enjoy each day as it comes.

"We're here love," George speaks, breaking Matty out of his internal musings with his deep voice, and sure enough, Matty sees the flashing sign announcing that they've arrived at Menswear. "I'll see you later yeah, maybe we can even stop by our McDonald's if you're hungry after your shift."

"That sounds good," Matty smiles, leaning over to kiss George quickly before he opens his door, "and don't forget the dog food."

"I won't," George promises, waving to Matty as he walks backward for a few steps so he can keep George in sight, his heart beating rapidly when George smiles at him just like it has done ever since he met him.

Matty doesn't think he'll ever stop feeling this way around George, he's still _so_ bloody smitten with him, and it takes more effort than it should to tear his gaze away from him.

"Love you," Matty calls out, earning himself a flash of George's teeth as a reward.

"Love you too, now go wow everyone," George encourages him.

His words have Matty grinning so hard his mouth aches a bit from the cold, but he can't stop, even once he gets inside. Matty remembers when he thought no one could ever care for him because of his profession. Before George had come along, he had mostly given up on finding love, but George has proven him wrong.

He might have an unconventional job, but that doesn't matter to George, because he loves Matty, _all_ parts of him, not just the dancer. He sees each aspect of him that intertwine together to make him who he is, and he adores him, which is more than Matty ever thought he'd receive from a partner.

Matty pulls his phone out of his trousers as he changes, his affections for George inspiring him to open their messages briefly as he kicks off his trainers. He originally intends to send George a message that says he loves him, but George knows that, not to mention he just said it, so he types out the words _"DOG FOOD"_ instead, ending the message with a ridiculous amount of heart emoji's.

George messages him back as he's about to walk out into the main area of the club, so Matty glances at it before he exits the dressing room.

It's a picture message, and when he pulls it up, it's a photo of George with Allen's favorite brand of dog food held in one hand, as well as a box of Special K in the other. George is making a hilarious face that Matty thinks is supposed to be him blowing a kiss although it sort of looks like he's about to be sick, and the caption at the bottom simply says _"memories"_.

 _God_ \- Matty had almost forgotten about that day, but George obviously hasn't. Matty didn't think he could feel any more love for George than he had in their car ride over, but now his heart feels full to bursting.

Matty can't think of a proper response straight away, he's too overcome with affection for his boyfriend, so he puts his phone back down, a permanent grin plastered on his face as he heads out to do what he loves, even though he's tempted to keep messaging George for just a little while longer.

But for now, Matty has a show to put on, and when he's done, his boyfriend will be there waiting for him just like he always is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end.
> 
> I never meant for this story to become so involved or for it to take me as long as it did to finish it but I do adore it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read this whether you have been here from the beginning or you started this after it was completed. All of your votes and comments mean the world to me and I'm so honored to receive them.
> 
> This might be one of my favorite things I have written so far and it feels amazing to finally have it up in its entirety. I am toying with the idea of perhaps publishing this one day but for now just having it on here is so satisfying in itself.
> 
> My reader's eternal patience and support helped me push through to the end of this even when writing felt impossible for me so once again thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> I love you all so very much xxxx
> 
> Goodbye for now and I hope to see you on my other stories.


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